


Levi x Reader Fics

by ackermans-freedom-inc (ackermans_freedom_inc), ackermans_freedom_inc



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:13:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 49
Words: 70,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27145034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ackermans_freedom_inc/pseuds/ackermans-freedom-inc, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ackermans_freedom_inc/pseuds/ackermans_freedom_inc
Summary: A collection of one shot fics! SFW.
Relationships: Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) & Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/You, Levi/Reader
Comments: 19
Kudos: 166





	1. The Sham

The Sham

You plastered a smile on your face as your father walked you down the aisle, wheezing breaths coming from his frail body. If it weren’t for the dread in your heart and the man who stood waiting for you at the end of the plush carpet, eyes cold and hard, this would’ve been your fairy tale wedding. 

It was only a month ago that your father had revealed to you his sickness. The growth in his lungs dangerously large. He was adamant for you to live on, but refused to leave his fortune to you, worried you would be taken advantage of by distant members of the family. Instead, he had introduced you to Erwin, a powerful commander in the Survey Corps. Erwin, you were told, would be in charge of finding you a suitable husband and protector. You protested at first, demanding that your father reconsider, demanding that he let you make your own choices. But he refused to listen. It was only after Erwin had softly whispered to you that your father was running out of time, and that the marriage could easily be annulled after your father passed that you relented to the sham. You had never been particularly close to the man who called himself your father. Your values never matched up after your mother passed. He was obsessed with wealth and protecting it, while you were content just living an ordinary life. But even so, you were determined to fulfil his dying wish, as a dutiful daughter should.

It was during those meetings that you realized how dangerous Erwin was. He knew you wanted no part of the enormous fortune you were to inherit, and told you between quiet whispers of negotiation that he would provide you with documents that allowed you to leave the marriage after your father’s death with 80% of your inheritance, the remaining 20% to remain with your future husband as a donation to the Survey Corps. The man was a master negotiator, running a ploy within a ploy; telling your father he would choose for you a suitable protector while assuring you of your freedom all the while securing a massive influx of funds. He was truly not a man to be trifled with.

That was how you got into this position, walking down the aisle to take as your lawfully wedded husband a man you never met before. Sure, everyone _knew_ of the great Levi Ackerman, but few had the pleasure of his company. Gulping, you looked into his eyes, not a flicker of softness within them as he took your hand and thanked your father. 

And then you were married, whisked off after the ceremony to spend the rest of your days on a cold army base while your father lived out _his_ days in a special hospital. Your lips still tingled at the soft kiss the man had pressed to them as the priest pronounced you as Ms. Ackerman. 

The entire way back, you rode silently behind your new husband. You had quickly dismissed the idea of a carriage back to base, happy to ride a horse and not make a big deal of the whole situation. However much you tried to shy away from the attention, you still found yourself in the middle of it. The entire town had come out to see you, cadets and villagers alike clamoring to catch a glimpse of the new Ms. Ackerman. Rumours travelled fast, and you could hear the whispers as you rode by. “Heard she’s doing this to keep her fortune!” “I heard her father sold her to the Captain!” “What a sham, her poor father” ‘Poor father? Poor her! Married to a guy like that!” 

You just ducked your head, tears swimming in your eyes as you swallowed the lump in your throat. You didn’t know how to feel. Everything they said was true. You did get sold, in a sense, to your husband by your father, and this was indeed a sham. But what could you do? You were powerless in such a situation and this was the best way to deal with it. 

By the time your breathing was controlled, and your tears dried, the horses stopped. You had arrived. 

You waited, watching as Levi dismounted, expecting him to come steady your horse. What you didn’t expect was for him to glance in your direction, annoyance in his eyes. “Oi. We don’t have all day. Get your ass off that horse.” He barked, already walking away. Disappointment flowed through you. You did not have much experience with men, always choosing to sit in the garden and read rather than go about the town, but with as little experience you’ve had with men and relationships, even you knew this was harsh treatment. 

You gently unhooked your foot from the stirrups and swung yourself down from the horse, landing hard on your feet with an “oof” that fell from your lips. The hapless cadet that stood by you quickly rushed up to steady you as your body tiled backways, arms flailing. As his hands righted you, your cheeks aflame, you bowed to thank him, his green eyes sparkling as he waved his hands, brushing away your thanks and embarrassment and introducing himself as Eren with a wink.

Bowing again to the young man, you didn’t have time to rest, grabbing the reins as you scurried after your husband to the stables. When you finally caught up to him, your horse unruly, refusing to cooperate with a stranger, he was leaving again. Throwing a curt “Take care of your horse. This isn’t your castle anymore princess; you need to earn your keep.” over his shoulder at your crestfallen form. All you could do was silently obey, willing your heart to be strong. 

~

Levi walked back to his room; brows furrowed the whole way. He didn’t owe you any special treatment. Sure, he had agreed to this in the first place, but only because Erwin asked him to. You also knew of the plan, and he didn’t see any reason in trying to force himself to be nice for the sake of some noble woman who would only hinder him in his duties. But when you had shyly met his eyes at the wedding, the way you had gasped when he kissed you…he shook his head. Reminding himself not to get attached, he continued to walk away, leaving you all alone in the stables. 

~

By the time you finished up and put everything away, it was dusk. You had followed the other cadets into the mess hall, determined to make some friends over dinner. You figured you would also see Levi there, and would use that opportunity to get acquainted. Your eyes immediately found your husband, sitting with the other superiors at a table, drinking from his cup silently as a frazzled looking individual you knew to be Hanji threw their head back and laughed at something Erwin said. You smiled and picked up your pace to find your own spot at the table, spotting Eren and giving him a shy wave that he returned, the beautiful girl in a red scarf beside him shooting daggers at your interaction. 

Erwin spotted you first, and he stood, bowing at you as he took your hand. “Miss Y/N! I hope our humble base is to your liking. Please, join us.” 

You looked around, squeezing yourself into a spot beside Levi. He barely gave you a second glance, grey eyes meeting yours for a moment as you wilted in your seat. The tension was palpable. Everyone’s drinks seemed to go down a little slower as they waited for you to say something. For him to say something. Quickly plastering a smile on your face, you reached for a cup. “To the Survey Corps!” you chirped, praying no one heard your voice crack, trying to make light of the awkward situation.

The group recovered, blinking at your sudden mood change. Cups were brought to the middle as they cheered, the only one absent was from the man by your side. Hanji quickly took over the conversation, asking you about your childhood, your parents, and what your hobbies were like. They shrieked when you told them about how you liked to cook and read, clapping in glee when you shared your love of knitting as well. They quickly decreed you as their official medical helper when their laugh suddenly cut out. “Oh! Levi! Did you want Y/N to be on your shifts and spend time with her? I may be able to negotiate if you’ll let me experim-” 

The bench shook as Levi stood up unexpectedly. Glaring at the now quiet Hanji, cold eyes flicking to you, he growled, “Look. This is fake. This is all fake. Don’t expect me to owe you shit you little brat. Just stay out of my way.” A glance at Hanji and he continued, “Keep her. Do whatever you want. I don’t care.”

Your jaw ached with the effort it took you to clench your teeth, trying not to cry. You hadn’t expected much from this marriage, maybe a soft hand to hold or a warm body to hug once in a while, but you had never expected this. To be so utterly unwanted and despised was a new feeling for you, and you hated it. 

Hanji squeaked, scurrying out the room after Levi as Erwin laid a hand on your shoulder. “He’s difficult. I’m sorry.” 

You just nodded, determined to make it through this farce of a marriage in one piece. 

~

Catching up to the shorter man, Hanji fell into step beside him, their silent judging enough to make the man reach out and punch the wall in annoyance.

“Spit it out four-eyes. Just say it.” 

“You know you fucked up. Why are you being so mean to her? The poor girl didn’t ask to be married, let alone to you! Her father is dying, why make it harder.” 

Levi ran a hand across the base of his neck. “I just don’t see a need to indulge her when we both know there’s an expiry on this.” 

A slap on his back earned Hanji another death glare. “There doesn’t have to be an expiry if you treat her right.”

~

Your wedding night was about as enjoyable as the day you had. You stayed away from your bedroom for as long as possible, but when your aching feet and pounding headache couldn’t take any more, you finally made your way through the maze of hallways to find your room. Your husband was in there already, sitting at his desk. You sucked in a breath looking at the large bed in the room and cleared your throat, catching his attention. “Uhm…” you couldn’t form words. 

“Do…do you want me to sleep on the couch?” you managed to squeak, trying desperately not to look into his eyes. 

“Don’t be stupid. Bed is big enough. Just don’t expect me to read you a bedtime story.” Was his answer. 

“Levi…” your voice was soft, laced with bitterness. “Levi do you love someone else?” 

“What did I say about being stupid?” 

“Why did you agree to marry me if you’re in love with someone else?” you choked, trying to keep the lump down your throat. 

“I’m not in love with someone else. I’m just not in love with _you_.” 

You cried yourself to sleep, knowing full well he was right beside you, pen scratching at his papers. You kept silent, not wanting to give him another reason to cut you with his words, so you held yourself as sobs wracked your body. You missed home. You missed your books. You missed your garden. And above all, you missed how it felt before you came onto this base.

The next morning, you woke to a rumpled his side of the bed. When he slipped in to sleep and when he slipped out was beyond you. You heaved a sigh and resolved yourself to be a good wife during your marriage. Determined not to lose face or embarrass Levi.

-

And so you did. While your interactions with Levi were limited, your days filled with Hanji’s instructions, you found yourself falling into an easy rhythm, getting used to the “married life” as it were. Every morning you would make your shared bed, dusting and clearing any dirt that fell during the night over your morning coffee. You would sing to yourself, dancing around the room with your duster, something you never got to do back home. Then you would make your way to the mess hall and make Levi his cup of tea. That much he let you do. He would usually be halfway through his morning mountain of work by now, and you would collect his empty cup, replacing it with a piping hot one before creeping back out the room, a soft “See you later” echoing across the quiet room. While the cadets trained, you would watch, trying and failing to keep your gaze away from your husband’s chiseled back. 

You realized you couldn’t make him love you, and it would be cruel and foolish to try. After all, it was just a waiting game. But something in your heart stirred whenever he would look at you. You came to understand the little ways in which he showed kindness, and after hearing stories of his childhood from Erwin, you understood the man a little better. 

The cadets were all whipped by your kindness, the young men always giving you their best salute when you walked by with a shy wave, and the young women clamoured to sit with you to chat. At mealtimes, you were surrounded by a gaggle of people, your eyes crinkling as you laughed at the jokes they would tell you. And for your part, you tried to do everything you could on base. You comforted broken hearts, mended scratched skin, helped with stable duty, and handed water to exhausted cadets who stumbled back after running punishment laps. Soon, you couldn’t imagine a different life. 

~  
Levi sighed, reaching for his cup to find it empty. Tch. You were late today. Usually you swept into the room by now, hot tea in tow. Even he had to admit that you were growing on him. Your quiet presence something he was used to by now. It surprised him how independent you were, how steadfast and hardworking. Each night he would slip into bed after your breathing slowed and would slip out before you started to groan in the morning. He would sometimes watch while you dusted the room, the sway of your hips and the song on your lips familiar. He even got used to you watching him train the cadets. When everyone started to work harder, blows coming down stronger, he would know you had made an appearance. He would ignore the way his body would tingle when he looked to find you underneath your usual tree, waving to him and the others. The cadets always waved back. He never did. 

Just when he was about to get up and get his own damn tea, you came into the room. You placed his tea down and noticing the small grimace on his face, your smile faltered. “Sorry I’m late Levi.” 

He hated the way you would shrink around him. He hated the way your smile would falter when he looked at you. He hated that you would walk on eggshells around him. When he started to feel this way, he did not know. All he knew was that he was the cause of your behaviour. 

_

It was a beautiful day on the town, and Levi found himself lost in thought as he made his way back to base. He stopped and looked around when he thought he heard your voice. He did not know you had gone out today. Looking around again, he followed the sound. What he did not expect to find was you, with another man’s hand wrapped around your wrist. You were angry. That much he could tell. 

“Don’t you _dare_ say that about my husband!” you breathed, struggling in the man’s hold. 

“Oh, come on now honey, the rumour is the great Captain Levi didn’t even make you his on your wedding night.” 

“Keep his name out of your mouth you pig!” you shot back, your other hand attempting to pry his hand from your wrist. 

“Don’t defend him now, how ‘bout I take you home, show you a good time. Show you what a real husband does?” 

Hackles rising, Levi was about to go and rip that ingrate’s arm off you when your words made him freeze. 

“He _is_ a real husband to me.”

The next moment, your well-placed kick had the man writhing on the floor, the skin of your wrist tender from his harsh grasp. 

Levi watched from afar as you stomped back towards base. A small smile crossed his lips. He could almost see the steam pouring out of your ears. As quick as it came, his next thought wiped his smile. You had defended him. Called him a real husband. Sure you could have been just acting, but he couldn’t deny that way his chest filled with pride even as his heart did a weird pitter patter thing he never felt before. 

~

You didn’t tell Levi about the incident on the town. You were too scared. Would he be mad that someone tried to take you home? Would he not care? You didn’t want to know the answer, not sure which reaction you were more scared of. So, when he crawled into bed later that evening with you while you lay there, you froze. Did he think you were asleep? You screwed your eyes shut, still as you could as you felt him get comfortable. 

“Oi. Brat. You constipated or something? Relax.” Came his soft voice beside your ear. You let out a shuddery breath, praying Levi couldn’t feel the way your heart started to hammer in your chest. You fell asleep that night as a couple, side by side, one of his arms thrown lazily around you as you dozed off.

Waking up to the sounds of birds outside, you were alone again, as you had been these past several weeks. You got out of bed and started to make it when your jaw dropped to the floor. Levi came in through the door, two cups in his hand. Handing you your coffee, he sipped at his tea, as if this was perfectly normal. So you sat in comfortable silence, softly sipping your drink before he gave you a pat on your head, ruffling your hair. “I’m off.”

“Work hard!” you chirped, offering a smile that made Levi’s heart thump.

When you brought him tea, he put his pen down, handing you his empty cup and taking the one you offered, “thank you Y/N” falling from his lips as you stuttered, cheeks aflame as you rushed from the room to catch your breath.

That night, he sat with you at dinner, your usual group of friends giggling at you while you sat beside him, shyly telling him about your day as he listened, grey eyes never leaving your face. 

You weren’t sure what happened. But you didn’t care. Shuffling around under the covers that night, he once again threw his arm around you, the blanket a helpful barrier. He had tucked his nose against your hair, before grunting in response to your soft “goodnight”. 

The next morning you woke up first, your limbs tangled in his as you starfished across the bed. Looking over, you couldn’t quite believe the man beside you was the Levi you got to know. His face was soft and content, but you missed his eyes and the way they would make your knees wobble when they looked into yours. Your breath on his nose must have tickled, because the next moment, those grey eyes you were thinking about were looking into yours, a hand rubbing against them as they focused. You were once again speechless. At a loss as to what to say and what to do as you stared. Then. It happened.

His hands somehow found their way to your neck, pulling you close as he bridged the gap, lips as soft on yours as they had been on your wedding day. You gasped the same way you did then, but this time he didn’t stop. Pressing you tighter against him, he explored your mouth with his, your useless hands against him as your brain stopped functioning. When he finally pulled away, your unfocused eyes blinked, a trembling finger touching your lips in disbelief. “Good morning” was all he said as he got out of bed and ready for another day, leaving you and your pounding heart in bed. 

The same thing happened the next day, and the next. Until every morning, you were woken with a good morning kiss as Levi went off to work. That is, until _that_ day.

That morning, your post kiss reverie was cut short by a rap on the door. You knew. As Erwin stepped into the room, you felt a tear slide down your face. Your father had died in the night. 

Levi stayed in the room; expression clouded as Erwin explained to you what would happen. Your father’s assets were being transferred to you as you spoke, and he would bring by the annulment paperwork in the evening. By the next day, you would be free to return to your home, a newly single woman. He thanked you again as you sat there in shock before excusing himself. 

As the door clicked behind Erwin, Levi looked at you a moment before following his superior out the door, a look on his face you haven’t seen before. “Good job. You made it.” 

Not sure what else to do, you packed. Your clothing was easy, but all the trinkets you had spread slowly around the room were harder to take. Your hairclip lay beside the cup that you had claimed as your own, your hairties by the bedside table where you placed them every night. Ghosts of memories floated around the room and the entire base, things you couldn’t pack to take home with you. 

_

You didn’t see Levi all day. As night fell, you looked eagerly towards the door as he strode in, only to see Erwin trailing in after, papers in hand. Telling you where to sign, Erwin left the room, leaving you with Levi and your papers, a thousand words unsaid. 

You looked down at the parchment. Black ink on paper. It was that easy. The freedom you wanted, the life you yearned to have back. It was that easy. When you had fallen in love you did not know. But now, it seemed like everything you wanted, you had. You didn’t want your old life back. Your old house filled with memories, but none with _him._ Your tears swirled as Levi silently picked up the pen, his name in his script signed along the dotted line. He handed the pen to you. Silent. Looking into your eyes.

You trembled. Shakily pressing a dot onto the paper above your name. That’s when he spoke. “Y/N…” he breathed, “Ask me again.” 

You looked at him, not understanding. 

“You asked me something on our first night together. Ask me again.” 

Your heart thudded. You understood. Your heart soared, hoping against hope as you formed the words. Disbelieving. ‘Levi…do you love someone else?” 

The pen thudded to the ground as he enveloped you in a hug, crushing you as he held you close. “No.” he whispered against you. “I don’t. I love you. Don’t go.” 

And that was how Erwin found you, still in a tight embrace when he came to retrieve the papers. He had sighed, grumbling about Levi being a pain and something about owing Hanji a week of dishes as he closed the door behind him. 

Tears spilling down your face, you leaned your forehead against Levi’s, still in disbelief. “I love you too.”


	2. Pet - DemonAU

You had to admit, it wasn’t often that you took a pet. You were, after all, a high-ranking demon. In fact, you happened to sit and serve at the right hand of your lord. In your millennia of existence, it was rare that another caught your eye. But tonight was different. You were drawn to this being, so full of anger, rage, and hurt. He was strong, you could sense it. His soul would be a delicious treat. With every step you took, your tongue running over sharpened teeth, you knew. This was a treat of a lifetime.

When you revealed yourself to him, he had reeled. As they all did. You yawned as he tried to slash you, little blades barely making a dent on your skin. You simply stared through full, long lashes, looking down at your perfectly pointed nails as you waited for him to calm down.

The little human had taken the news surprisingly well. That is, _after_ he tired himself out from attempting to cut you. Your simple explanation that you were a demon, a contract negotiator who could grant almost any wish, for the simple exchange of a soul seeming to answer all his questions. The way he was so calm after your explanation made you blink, questioning if he was already soul bound to another. A quick glance over his form told you he was yet to be spoken for, and you smiled, flashing him a glimpse of your pointed teeth and forked tongue as your tail flicked behind you, swishing through the air. You could see him gulp slightly as you leaned into him, flashing him an eyeful of your full bosom, barely covered in your little lace top. A pointed fingernail scratched along his jaw, his eyes never leaving yours as you asked him.

“Tell me. What can I do for you my little pet?”

His answer made you smile. He wanted to be strong. Strong enough to take down all his enemies, so he could protect the ones he loved. Within a flash of his confession, you hand was caressing the top of your hellhound’s head, easily summoned with your powers, his red eyes locked onto the human even as his tongue lolled out of his mouth, your contract securely tied to his collar.

You removed the parchment, a drop of your blood making the markings glow an ominous black as you waited. Waited for his acceptance.

“My soul.”

“Yes.” you breathed, eyes looking into his. “Your soul when you die. I am not so needy a demon to strike a 5 or 10-year contract. Mine are for life. I will protect you, keep you as my own. And when you are old and frail, I will reap your soul.”

“It’s a deal.”

“You do realize that a soul is forever.” You found yourself checking to make sure he understood the consequences. After all, you were a negotiator and not a crook. “No chance of being reborn. No chance of seeing your loved ones in another life, or in another plane of existence.”

“One lifetime was plenty.” Your soon to be pet spat as he sliced his own palm open, his blood splattering onto the contract as the parchment began to float, breaking into bits that floated around the two of you, searing flesh as it made contact with skin. By the time it was over, the human was adorned with beautiful markings, tendrils of your claim upon him like vines branding his skin. No one else could see it of course, no one else but your fellow demons. And none of them would be stupid or reckless enough to challenge your claim.

You closed your eyes as you felt his anger and hatred flow through your veins, your power surging. In a rare moment of lost control, you let out a roar, the inhuman pulse of energy that shot from you causing a ripple of energy, a boom that made trees bend and shake as birds took to the air.

You watched in glee as the human before you flexed his arms, fingers gripping and loosening against the funny little gear attached to his hips.

“Do you feel stronger yet my pet?” you breathed, taking this time to change your form, your horns disappearing and nails shrinking as your teeth smoothed out and your height settled to just about the same as the man that now stood eye to eye with you.

“It’s Levi.”

You couldn’t help but burst into laughter at his insolence. You liked this little human, his ignorance to your world and your high rank refreshing after so many years. It was nice to not have everyone cower in fear at the mention of your name. It was nice to be challenged.

“Well, Levi” you purred, eyes shifting between humanlike pupils and catlike ones as you fought your nature, “Pleased to make your acquaintance. I’m Y/N.”

~

Y/N is what he introduced you to the base as. He made up some story of finding you outside a destroyed village, your home destroyed, and your memories lost. Surprisingly, everyone accepted the story and rallied around you, supportive and caring as they showed you around.

What they didn’t count on was how strong you were, how effortlessly you flew around in your gear, how you managed to cut down titan after titan without so much as breaking a sweat.

By the time you made it onto Squad Levi, no one doubted that you belonged there. You and he were the bringers of death, the duo that fearing nothing and no one. It didn’t matter what stood in your way, no matter the odds, you and Levi somehow always made it through without a scratch.

That wasn’t to say you didn’t need to save him. He had brushed death so many times, your little morsel of a soul almost snatched away. But each time you were there to rip him from the swinging scythe of death. If no one else was near, you didn’t hesitate to unleash your demonic powers upon the titans, obliterating them from the inside out, a whole group of them just exploding, steam filling the air to be seen from far and wide. When others were around, you simply zipped around them, your inhuman speed never scrutinized as you slashed, more often with sharpened nails or teeth than with your blades. You relished in the bloodshed, despite not having a soul to consume. It also helped that the monsters didn’t view you as human, always ignoring your presence completely.

You had to admit Levi was growing on you. Despite him knowing who and what you were, he never failed to look out for you. He was _your_ pet, _your_ soul to claim, yet he still tried to protect you. Although, the dangers he steered you away from were more often in the form of other humans than those beasts. You saw how your form had an allure to other humans. Being a demon, you already possessed the mysterious ability to hold others captive. And while you could minimize your horns, your pointed teeth and nails along with your tail, you couldn’t seem to hide or shrink your bosom. That was what you noticed most of the humans around Levi had their eyes on. Every step you took, eyes would flick between your chest and your eyes, and while you entertained the advances both men and women made upon you, you never strayed. After all, Levi was yours, and you had to keep an eye on your delicious prize at all times.


	3. A Matter of Time

**Prompt: Reader is on squad Levi and they slowly fall for each other**

**A Matter of Time - fluff**

It was only a matter of time. Being in such close quarters with your fellow squad members, it was bound to happen. Emotions ran high, brushes with death in the daylight, fingers fisting the sheets when darkness fell. You had watched relationships start and end in the Survey Corps, and as much as you tried not to catch the feelings bug, it caught you. 

It was only a matter of time. Every glance he gave you, every order, every eye roll, every call of “brat”. Soon he was the one you thought of the most, the one you wanted around you all the time. His touch was one you craved, and every word he said you clung to, your laughter twinkling as you smiled at yet another shit joke that he told. 

Little did you know he felt the same. 

It was only a matter of time. Being in such close quarters with his subordinates, it was bound to happen. He watched couples break up, families killed, whole villages destroyed. While his fellow squad leaders took out their passions in heated embraces with their chosen partners, he always waited. He didn’t want to catch the feelings bug, but it caught him. 

It was only a matter of time. Every time you called him Captain, every time you swung over to stand beside him, every scoff you gave him when he called you a brat. Soon, the scent you left behind after you walked away was sweeter to him than the smell of his tea. Soon, all he wanted to hear was your laugh, and all he wanted to see was your face, smiling at him and no one else. 

It was only a matter of time. He held you in his embrace, arms supporting you as you sobbed. You had gotten separated, your horse nowhere to be found. You had called fruitlessly. For Petra, for Oluo, for _him._ Perched on the branch that placed you just out of reach from the titans, you cursed fate. Your gas was out, and your blades were gone. If no one found you, you would either die of dehydration or get eaten. You never got to tell him. You never got to hold him in your arms and brush his hair from his forehead. You let out a sob, berating yourself for being so pathetic. 

It was only a matter of time. Levi had searched and searched, eyes darting left and right, not sure what he was looking for. He didn’t want to find your body. He didn’t want to see your eyes, dull and lifeless as they looked into his. He never got to tell you. He never got to run his hands through your hair and hold your cheeks in his hands. He let out a cry, cursing himself for being a horrible captain. For letting you down. Until he saw you, sitting on that branch. 

It was only a matter of a time, your hand tucked in his under the table as you pressed your thigh against his. The others knew, but paid the both of you no mind as they laughed at something Erwin said, Oluo too busy making eyes at Petra. Levi’s eyes flicked over to you as he sipped at his tea, and he didn’t say a word. But he didn’t need to, the way he squeezed your hand ever so slightly under the table told you everything you needed to know. 

_I love you._


	4. All My Choices

**Prompt: In the end, all my choices led to you**

**All My Choices - fluff**

It was the end of the night, that sweet spot during the evening where the breeze was cool enough to stifle the heat, but comfortable enough to be outside without a jacket on. The day was an easy one, just simple errands and household chores that needed to be checked off before the start of a new week. 

You nudged the screen door open with your elbow as you held on to two mugs of tea, careful to not burn your hand as it curled around the handle of the mug (not everyone holds their teacups weird like Levi). The evening sky was gorgeous shades of blue, purple and pink, with streaks of yellow and orange shining just in the distance as the sun slowly gives way to the night. 

You couldn’t help but curl your lips into a small smile when your eyes landed on the man you were looking for. 

Levi.

He was sitting in his favourite patio chair, basking in the sunset with a thoughtful look on his face, staring into the distance. He blinked, coming back to reality as you nudged him gently with your knee and handing him his cup. 

As you took a seat beside your him, Levi placed his hand gently over your knee and sighed. 

“Penny for your thoughts dear?” You inquired, wondering what prompted your usually focused and straightforward partner to doze off into a daydream. 

“Nothing.” Was the reply. Just as you expected. 

“Oh?” You teased, “Tell me about nothing then, Levi.” 

“I ran into an ex at the store today that’s all.” Was the reply after a short pause. 

You murmured a soft ‘mhm’ as you slowly took a sip of your tea, giving Levi all the time he needed. 

“I saw her at the store today and couldn’t help but feel happy.” He continued. “It made me so happy to see a part of my past, even though it didn’t work out between us.” 

You felt his hand gently rubbing circles against your knee and you looked over at your husband, just over the rim of your mug. 

“It made me happy because…all those failed relationships, all the choices that I had made in my past…they led me to you. **In the end, all my choices led to you”** Levi whispered as he leaned into you, his forehead pressed up against yours. You could see the love swirling in his eyes as he looked into yours. You could smell the tea on his breath, and most importantly, you could feel the warmth of his touch. You were his choice…just as he was yours.


	5. Bows

**Prompt: I just wanted to be pretty for you**

**Bows:** Modern AU, jealous Levi 

Levi swore he needed a doctor. He was sure his blood pressure had shot through the roof the moment you swung open your door. To his chagrin, his blood pressure had only stayed high after you gave him your signature hug and kiss on the cheek and twirled around, ushering him into the home. 

“I’m so sorry babe, give me a second, just grabbing my purse” you admitted, looking around the room before you spotted the light pink strap of your purse sticking out from under some clothes. 

Before long, you were hand in hand with Levi, strolling down the street. He finally had a free day, and the weather was gorgeous. You had a full day planned, starting with brunch, going to get ice cream from this new place downtown that you had your eye on, going shopping, having some lunch at that new rice burger place Mikasa had told you about, and finally dinner at home and a movie on the couch. Yes, you had indeed planned the perfect date. But it seemed that your _date_ wasn’t so pleased. Since the moment you opened the door, he seemed to be glowering, his expression looked like one of someone who stepped into water with their socks on. Figuring he was just not used to being out and about in the sun (after all, Levi was as much a homebody as you were), you paid it no mind, flicking a stray piece of hair behind your ear as you clutched his hand a little tighter and flashing another smile. 

As you walked down the street, it seemed that the whole town had the bright idea of a day out, the streets were packed, and of course, you had to bump into people you knew. Hanji was the first person you met, dragging a haggard looked Moblit who managed to offer a small shy wave which you returned. They had pounced on you, and as much as you had braced for it, you couldn’t help but wince at the bonecrushing hug. “Dang Y/N you’re looking good! Short stack here is going to have his hands full keeping stray eyes off you!” Hanji cackled, eyes flitting over your outfit. 

It was the first time you were wearing the dress you had on today, never sure enough of the occaision to have brought it out before. It looked like a simple white summer dress in the front, but when you turned around, it revealed black straps tied in a bow on your back, everything from your waist up was left tastefully bare. 

As Levi finally managed to chase Hanji off, he took your hand gently “New dress?” 

“Oh..uh..yah! Do you like it?” you worried 

“Hmm” was the noncommittal reply

At brunch, Levi almost threw his coffee at the waiter who seated you, commenting, “A lovely day and a lovely lady! What a treat” as he handed you the menu. You only smiled and placed your hand on top of your boyfriends, not paying the waiter any mind. And it seemed your day only got weirder after that. 

While in line at the ice cream shop, a woman had leaned forward, poking you. When you both turned around, she shyly inquired, “I just wanted to know where you got the dress? It looks so good on you!” 

Levi had grimaced again while you chatted to the woman, animatedly telling her how you had snagged the dress on sale and recommending she go check out the website for other cute items. 

You frowned. It seemed as though Levi was distracted. All day, he had barely paid you any attention. Everywhere you went, he seemed more focused on other people than you, sending his signature glare at random passersby. Just when you were going to comment on Levi’s sullen mood, he seemed to perk up as you entered the mall. For once, he was extra into shopping, handing you shawls, cardigans, and jackets to try on. As much as you appreciated his help, you couldn’t help but groan, your arms already sweating from trying on so many long-sleeved items. 

After packing up your items in tissue paper, the cashier glanced at your outfit and smiled, “Girl if I had a body and face like yours, I’d be coverin’ up way less than that!” Taking the receipt she offered you with a smile, you hurried away, feeling more and more self-conscious. 

The final straw was at lunch. The trendy new spot you were going to was packed, so you had suggested a seat at the bar, knowing how much Levi hated wasting time waiting around. Since there was nowhere to hang a jacket, you begrudgingly let Levi drape his jacket over your shoulders, waving off his “There’s no other place to put it and I’m too warm” comment. When it came time to pay, you breathed a sigh of relief as Levi had to take back his jacket, his wallet in the pocket. Just when he was coming back to let you know the bill had been taken care of, your view of your boyfriend was cut off by a tall lanky fellow who appeared, laying a hand on your exposed shoulder. “I have to say it must be fate that we’re meeting like this” he started, his words getting cut off as his arm was wrenched off you. “I’d appreciate if you didn’t filthy up my girlfriend’s shoulder with your paw” Levi growled, grabbing you by the wrist as he tugged you out of the restaurant. 

You trailed behind him the whole way home, wrist still trapped in his hold, worry in your heart. As soon as the door to your apartment was closed, Levi let go of your wrist, running a hand over his face. “Why did you have to wear that today?” he said, exasperation clear in his voice. 

“I….” you were unable to formulate into words your feelings. **“I just wanted to be pretty for you”** you finally squeaked out. “Did you not like it? Was it too much?” you fiddled with the hem of your dress, self-consciousness and doubt causing your eyes to prickle with tears. 

When you felt a gentle hand lifting your chin, you peeked through your tears to see a blurry Levi looking at you. 

“Y/N, you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. You don’t need to be pretty anyone, let alone me.” He breathed, eyes staring deeply into yours. “Do you know how hard it was watching random people leering at you? I love your dress and makeup today, but I was about to knock teeth out.” 

Suddenly, the day made sense. Your mouth open in shock you couldn’t help but start laughing. “Oh my GOD Levi, is that why you were making me try on all those long-sleeved things at the mall?” His almost imperceptible pout was all you needed as an answer. 

Feeling the warmth spread in your chest, you stepped closer and wrapped your silly boyfriend in a hug. “Babe…were you jealous?” 

He only hugged you tighter. 

Removing yourself from his hug, your eyes sparkled as you reached back and untied the bow, the front of your dress immediately pooling at your waist as you unzipped. Licking your lips, you stalked towards your now frozen boyfriend, “Don’t be jealous babe, no one but you gets to see the good stuff” you breathed as you helped him out of his own shirt. 

~

Needless to say, Levi forbade you from wearing that dress ever again…not that you listened to him.


	6. By Your Side

**By Your side - Bodyguard, Modern AU**

**tw: guns**

You don’t even remember how it started. It must have been right when you got off the airplane and first met _him_. The way he held himself, the way his face was perfectly impassive, his lips stretched in a line, and how he seemed so icy cold, holding everyone in the world an arm’s length away made you immediately want to tease him. 

So of course, you had sauntered up to him, cocked a hip, and playfully laid a manicured hand on his shoulder before leaning in, eyes half lidded and voice laced with mirth, “Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got fine written all over you.” 

The man had stepped back, blinking in surprise while you cackled, pleased that you were able to illicit somewhat of a reaction from him. Recovering quickly, he rolled his eyes before placing a hand on the small of your back and ushering you to the awaiting limo. 

In the car, Levi was the definition of professional. He got your background, learning how you were the only child of a successful video game tycoon. You were being relocated after some stalking concerns, your ex not taking the end of the relationship as a hint to leave you alone. He learned how you had spent years oversees, studying music while your doting mother looked after you. After your mother had passed away in an accident, you had immediately been flown back and put under the purview of your father’s watchful eyes. Levi learned how quickly you adapted to the situation, taking over the Creative Design aspect of game background music and had become an integral part of the team. He was also briefed about your overbearing boyfriend Matt who, you had realized too late, was just using you in hopes of scoring free video games and maybe a job at your father’s company. He had always lived off of you, making excuses for spending your money as he drank the days away. When you had broken it off, Matt had followed you around wherever you went, ceasing to function without your financial support. That was when your father made the decision to pluck you from your home and relocate you to the middle of nowhere for a time, until things settled down a little. This is also when _you_ learned that Levi had come highly recommended by your father’s long-time bodyguard Erwin, who had personally vouched for the man who was to be your shadow.

Your brief introductions complete, you shot the man another look. “If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.”

Your eyes twinkled with mirth as you waited for his reaction. All you got was a small head shake as Levi resumed his duties of checking out the surroundings through the tinted windows of the limousine. You had to do better than that. 

~

Levi helped you set up in your new apartment, refusing to let you carry any of the boxes that had been sent ahead due to the fact that the windows were “not secure yet”. You had cast a grimace towards the man but reluctantly stood by as you let him do all the work. Although, by the end of the moving ordeal, you were more than happy to watch as Levi shed the layers he was wearing, eventually standing there in just a thin t-shirt and his pants. It was another hour before he had the curtains up and allowed you to move about the apartment while Levi retreated to the connecting bedroom to set up his own space. 

As you placed your last pot of succulents on your desk, you heaved a sigh and plopped yourself into your computer chair and spun around happily. You didn’t really mind having to move around. Everywhere was basically the same to you. After all, your work life revolved around making music in the comfort of your own home, while during your free time, you had always preferred to stay inside and play video games or watch movies rather than going out to bars and clubs. You had your groceries delivered, and any other necessities you needed could be picked up on a weekly shopping trip. 

Slightly dizzy from your spinning, you decided now was the perfect time to go find Levi and whip up some dinner. You liked the icy man, and couldn’t help but giggle, comparing the two of you. Where he was icy and cold, you were bubbly and warm. Where he as quiet and calculating, you were loud and impulsive. You were a social person, unafraid of striking up conversations with complete strangers, whereas Levi’s job was to stay in the background and observe. You very rarely paid any attention to the men and women around you, especially after the Matt fiasco, preferring to stay devoted to your musical endeavours. But now…now you were intrigued. If you were to spend nearly every waking moment with the man, you had better get to know him. 

As you strode into the kitchen, Levi double took. You had let your hair down from the tight bun you had earlier and shed your business casual dress, changing into your favourite pajamas that featured animated avocados and toast holding hands. As you saw Levi, you cracked a grin, “Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?” 

“Protecting your snarky ass, apparently” was the deadpan reply you hadn’t expected. 

For a few precious seconds, you were speechless. You and Levi just stared at each other across the kitchen island, e/c eyes looking into grey ones. That silence was broken as soon as it came when you snorted loudly and had to lean against the cool granite as tears streamed down your face, laughing so hard you couldn’t breathe.

You had made a simple dinner that night, opting for your favourite pasta and a nice steak your father had sent for your first night in the suburbs. Levi had offered to help, looking over warily as you brandished a cleaver. As soon as you started cooking however, he had felt more relaxed, realizing you were a pro in the kitchen. 

~

He had been surprised by you, expecting a spoiled rotten brat who demanded to be waited on hand and foot, high maintenance and uppity. When you first cracked the joke, he had, for the first time in his client protection career, been rendered speechless. His surprise only deepened as he got to know you. He learned how passionate you were about music, and how _damn good_ you were at your job. He learned how much of a homebody you were, preferring to snuggle up on the couch to a nice movie than go out. He learned that you cared very little about money and status, preferring to search out real connections with people who you kept in the dark about your family business. And most of all, he learned how good of a cook you were. 

His clients usually paid him a stipend, allowing him to purchase food for himself along with any other expenses he may incur while on the job. Since you were a VIP client, he was given a credit card, its polished matte metallic frame sitting in his wallet. Untouched. Instead, you welcomed him to sit with you at the dining table day after day, fantastic dishes filling the table, leaving barely any room for your own plates and utensils. Each day, without fail, you would poke your head into his room as soon as you woke up, bleary eyed yet somehow still smiling. 

“Hey Levi, are you not tired? You’ve been running through my mind all day!” 

“Morning Levi, is there an airport nearby or is my heart taking off?” 

“Levi are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see!” 

Levi had gotten used to it by now, and though he would never admit it, kind of liked being greeted by your cheesy pickup lines whenever you would see him again after being separated for a while. While you were at home, he was unfortunately limited to only a couple lines a day, once first thing in the morning, and sometimes before dinner whenever he got banished to the other room in order to give you some peace and quiet as you cooked. 

~

The last couple months with Levi made you feel safe, secure, and somehow, normal. You had quickly chosen to regard Levi not as your bodyguard, but more as a companion. He was there every morning to roll his eyes at your lines, and never ceased to be a good snuggle buddy while you watched movies. While the man never initiated anything with you, he would never complain if you leaned against him and got comfortable, sometimes lifting his arm for him and placing it around your shoulders in order to, as you said, “snuggle better”. He was always there to kill the creepy crawlies, and, as you discovered, an amazing video game player. He and you would passed the time by sipping tea, chatting, watching movies, playing video games, and taking leisurely walks around town to pick up groceries or grab dessert. As much as neither of you dared to admit, you were more couple than client and bodyguard. It was a great life, one you could imagine yourself living for the rest of your days.

Just as you fell into a quiet daily routine with Levi, your plans were altered by obligations. You had to make an appearance at a showcase to promote your father’s newest game. While you had left the apartment before, you had always been able to walk around town without any makeup on, wearing whatever clothes you liked, an ever-cautious Levi beside you. But this time, you had to be Y/N. Heiress. And oh how you hated it. How you wished you could just stay Y/N, regular ordinary girl. 

As you finished getting ready, Levi peered into your room, knuckles rapping against your doorframe. As you pressed a stray tendril of your hair into your updo, you turned to smile at Levi, drinking in his clean-cut outfit of simple black trousers, an impeccably ironed white dress-shirt, and a vest that was practically moulded to his muscular figure, “Hey Levi, I must be in a museum, because you are a work of art!” 

“Tch, brat, what’s it been, fifteen minutes?” 

“Just a little nervous. Hey, help me zip?” You turned your back to Levi, the last several inches of your dress undone. You pretended not to notice how his fingers lingered on your back and he pretended not to notice how you jumped slightly before leaning back into his touch.

~

The event was overflowing with people, over half the fans at the showcase booth had come to meet you, the person behind the epic music of the games they so loved. You had lovingly thanked everyone, signed autographs, and took pictures for hours on end. By the time you and Levi had made it from the venue to the lobby of your apartment, you were exhausted, barefoot and leaning against Levi as he carried your shoes. When Levi saw your father approaching with his entourage, he quickly took a step back, handing your shoes to you and offering an arm as you hastily put them on before greeting your father. Turns out, he just wanted to talk to Levi regarding a threat assessment report.

What you expected to be a quick chat ended up taking forever, words like “low risk” and “presumed safe” boring you. Plus, you were exhausted, and really needed to pee. Nodding at Erwin and giving your father a quick kiss on the cheek, you excused yourself, calling out to a flustered Levi who couldn’t quite decide if he should stay and keep chatting with his boss, or pursue his client. You reassured him with a smile, “Just going to head up first Levi. Don’t worry! I just need to go pee.” 

When Levi opened the door to the apartment a little while later, he breathed a sigh and called your name before looking around the open floor plan, expecting to see you laying on the couch. When he couldn’t find you nor hear you, his right hand immediately flew to his gun holster as he began calling out your name over and over in the eerily quiet apartment. Seeing the bathroom door closed, he rapped on it and was relieved when you opened the door a small sliver. 

You still had your hair up and your makeup on. You usually undid your hair and washed off your makeup as soon as you got the chance. But that wasn’t the weirdest part. It was the way your smile was stuck on your face and the way your eyes looked. There was something off about you. What sealed the deal was when you looked at him, smile still plastered on as you dismissed him “Hey Levi, home already? I’m fine, don’t worry!” 

The lack of a cheesy pickup line made him realize something was very wrong. Playing along, he nodded before letting you close the door. He waited around the corner as he first placed a call to Erwin asking the man to send reinforcements. Then he unholstered his gun, switched the safety off, and took a deep breath before he kicked down the door to your bathroom and bust inside, eyes widening as he saw your terrified face, your ex’s arm wrapped tightly around your neck as the other hand pressed the gun to your temple. 

Your face was stained with tears as they ran silently down your face. “Levi! No! Stop!” you shouted, not wanting the man to get hurt. 

“Matt. Put down the gun. I know how much you love her; you don’t want to hurt her do you?” Levi reasoned; gun pointed directly at Matt. Oh how he wished he would never meet the man whose file he had read over a hundred times. 

“Bullshit!” Matt roared, making your ears ring as he turned to point his gun directly at Levi, “I’ve been following you guys around. I see the way you touch her, the way she looks at you. Fucking bitch replaced me. She told me herself that she loves you. If I can’t have her, neither can you!” 

“Well then, since you already know that she doesn’t love you, perhaps you should also know that I happen to love her back, and am not about to let you take her from me.” Levi spat, aim never wavering.

Gunshots erupted. Matt hitting the floor, his gun clattering as it spun across the tiles. His arm was bleeding from where Levi had accurately placed the shot, non-fatal yet very effective at disarming. Just then, Erwin, his men, and your father burst in, gathering by the bathroom as they took in the sight. You were in Levi’s arms from when he caught you as you fell from Matt’s chokehold, face buried in his chest mumbling “Thank you so much Levi” and “Are you okay?” as he pressed a kiss to your forehead and rubbed soothing circles on your back, whispering to you, assuring you he was fine and telling you it was all over. 

Erwin and his men took the screaming Matt away as your father pried you away from Levi in order to get you on the ambulance stretcher that had also arrived. You were insisting you were fine as your father fussed, his actions getting in the way of the paramedic who was trying to wrap the blood pressure cuff around your arm. You looked around the room for Levi, wanting to ask him to ride along with you in the ambulance and explain the words he had said to Matt. What you saw instead made your heart stop. Levi was standing there, wobbly on his feet as he put a hand under his vest on his right side. When he lifted his hand again, it was painted red, crimson dripping onto the ground. The final thing you were sure that Levi heard before he hit the ground was your scream.

~

“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?” you teased, pressing a kiss to Levi’s forehead. He had been in the hospital for nearly a week now and the doctors were getting ready to discharge him. During this time, you had somehow gotten up the courage to tell your father about your feelings for Levi and surprisingly, your father had approved immediately. You suspected it was a combination of the fact that Levi saved your life, and that as long as you two were together, your father could spend less time worrying about your safety. 

You looked up at Levi when you felt his hand squeeze yours. “Hey brat. There’s one thing I want to change about you. And that’s your last name.” Levi wheezed, a smile gracing his lips as he took your hands in his. You rolled your eyes as you gave him a soft kiss, “I’ll hold you to that Mr. Ackerman.” 

When the nurses rushed into the room a minute later following an alarm for an elevated heart rate, they found you two in a tight embrace, snuggled in bed together, smiles on your faces as you leaned in for another kiss.


	7. Carry a Tune - Lawyer AU

**Carry a Tune** – Modern AU, LawyerAU

Leave it to Erwin to pick a place named Martini Blue. Everything about the venue looked classy and upscale, as if you had been transported to a different time. Upon perusing their website, you were pleased to discover that the trendy supper club was also a jazz lounge. You opted to stay in your heels for the rest of the day as you bundled your files into your purse, taking one last look around your cluttered office before turning off the lights and closing the doors. 

Peeking your head into the next-door office, your hands running over the plaque on the door: Levi Ackerman | Senior partner, you found your moody boyfriend brooding over his laptop, no doubt putting together the final touches on the memorandum for the Curtis file. Taking a final peek outside to make sure Hanji, you and Levi’s shared legal secretary, had indeed gone for the night, you strode into the office, leaving the heavy glass door open behind you. 

“You ready for teambuilding night?” you helped yourself to one of the mints Levi kept on his coffee table as you sprawled out on his leather couch. 

“Just about. You ready to go?” Levi’s eyes flicked over your sprawled-out form, frowning when he saw your heels. “You planning on wearing those? I’m not carrying you home again.” 

You sat up, teasing smile on your face, “Slander.” You cried, “Slander I say!” 

All Levi did was roll his eyes before focusing back on the laptop. After a few more clacks of his keyboard, he sighed, closing the lid and pushing it away from him. “Alright, we can’t keep them waiting.”

You remained where you were, drinking in the lithe form of your boyfriend as he reached over to his coatrack to grab his jacket, his dress shirt somehow managing to accentuate every movement of muscle. As Levi gathered his own files and placed them in his bag, you admired some more. His tie was perfectly matched to your dress that day, something subtle you two tried to do whenever possible, the end of his tie tucked tightly into the vest of his three-piece suit. Your throat went impossibly dryer when he draped his suit jacket over your bare shoulders before undoing his dress shirt sleeves, dropping his favourite winged cufflinks into the small side pocket of your purse while he rolled his sleeves up, revealing what was your favourite sight, tendrils of black ink peeking out from the still covered portions of his arm. 

Offering you a hand, you licked your lips as you took his cool hand in yours, hiking your bag over your elbow and laying your own coat on top. You preferred wearing Levi’s suit jacket anyway, the smell of his cologne washing over you made you feel safe and warm. 

As you slid into the car seat, you offered another soft smile and nod, letting Levi know he was safe to close the door. Even after dating for so long, he still insisted on opening and closing your doors for you, his subtle way of showing his love. Your soft smile never left your lips the entire ride to the bar. 

You had met Levi when you transferred from the Rose branch of Smith LLP to its newer Maria branch. You were four years out of law school and an up and coming Mergers and Acquisitions lawyer when you were offered the partner position at Maria. While at first you were a bit unsure, the team at Maria quickly became your second family, the work culture the same as it was in Rose. From the moment you laid eyes on him, you were lost. The handsome man, you discovered, had just been poached from Pixis, and made senior partner. Turns out, him and Erwin, the managing partner, had been classmates in law school and when Erwin needed a new senior parter of Tax, Levi was the one who received the call. 

Evidently, he had felt the same about you, ordering Erwin to make you as his mentee. You grew close over case briefs, disclosures, memorandums, and countless nights of research. Initially, you had been worried about telling Erwin, mixing personal with professional rarely a good idea. To your surprise, Erwin had clapped Levi on the back before enveloping you in a hug, thanking you. Turns out, the ever observant managing partner had noticed Levi was more relaxed, barking less at the articling students he had working for him, being nicer to clients, and overall less prickly. There was not much for Erwin to worry about though, you were careful to keep your lives carefully compartmentalized, leaving fights at home, and work disagreements in the office. 

Every year since your transfer, the associates had ran a bet, seeing if one of them could successfully ask you out. Every year, you pretended to be flattered as Levi pretended not to give more work to the one that was most flirty with you that day. No one aside from Erwin, his secretary Petra, Hanji, Mike, and his secretary Moblit knew that you two were an item. The only reason Mike having found out is when you strode into his office one day to drop off some files and the man sniffed you out, catching a whiff of Levi’s cologne on you. 

The car came to a soft stop, the hum of the engine stopping as the locks clicked open, stirring you from your reminiscing. As you gathered your purse and hugged the jacket securely around your shoulders, you felt the breeze brush over your legs as Levi swung the car door open for you, hand outstretched. Taking it, you wrapped your hand around his waist as you turned, pressing a gentle touch to the door handle, a soft beep confirming it was indeed locked. As you both strolled into the restaurant, you spotted Erwin’s tall figure already sat at a lounge table, Hanji waving excitedly at you. You spotted Moblit, Mike, and Petra around the table as well, and waved back at them. Soon, you and Levi were seated with them, a scotch on the rocks for Levi and a Moscow Mule for you placed in front of you before you had time to get comfortable in your chair. 

As Erwin teased you about the progression of the associate date pool, Levi only glowered as you recounted the story from last week when an associate scurried to grab you the legal pad you needed from the office and ran smack into Levi in his haste. The poor man had completely wilted after that interaction, aghast at having spilled Levi’s coffee, and skulked around the office with a giant coffee stain on his shirt for the rest of the day. 

“My hand slipped!” Levi butted in, crossing his arms in front of him as you laughed, squeezing his knee reassuringly. 

Soon, the drinks were emptied, the sharing plates devoured, and the talk had migrated from office chatter to just idle chitchat, Hanji excitedly reminding Erwin that her and Moblit were taking an extra couple days of vacation in Trost after a conference the firm had planned. Nodding and assuring that they would be sorely missed, Erwin turned his attention to you and Levi. “Say, are you two planning on staying a couple extra days as well?” Petra and Mike nodded their agreement to the idea, their eyes shifting to you.

“We hadn’t planned on it, why?” breathed Levi, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

“Oh, no reason, I just took the liberty of making sure neither of you had client meetings, and since your secretary is gone, you might as well take some time off yourselves.” Erwin dismissed Levi’s glare with a wave. 

You gulped, really wanting to take the time to explore the town, but not wanting to push Levi to do anything he wasn’t comfortable with. You knew how he preferred to show his love, avoiding grand gestures and outward displays of affection, preferring to instead make sure the little things in your life were taken care of. Although sometimes, you couldn’t help but sigh when you saw a bouquet of roses be delivered to the office for one of the other lawyers. 

Thankfully, you didn’t have time to reply as the lights in the restaurant dimmed, a spotlight shining on a stage you didn’t even realize was there as a dapper looking older fellow in a top hat took the stage. He welcomed the crowd to open mic night at Martini Blue and invited someone by the name of “Titan” to take the stage. When this “Titan” took the stage, you chuckled under your breath. He was dressed over the top, a tight dress shirt strapped on even tighter with suspenders, shoes shined so bright you swore you were blinded for a second as they caught the light, and a panama hat atop the brunette’s hair as he gripped a rose between his fingers.

As he took a seat in the barstool on the stage and adjusted his mic, you caught his eye, and before you could look away, he flashed a wide smile at you, his blue/green eyes like the sea. He took the rose from his mouth and handed it to the elderly man who had introduced him, whispering in his ear. Walking too fast for his age, the man had strode over to you, and tucked the rose in your hair, “Eren would like you to have this”, he whispered before hurrying away again to stand by the stage. 

Needless to say, the rose did not last long in your hair, Levi yanking it out and sending his best death glare, his angry cry of “It’ll dirty your hair!” barely covered by Erwin’s well-placed cough. 

Then Eren started to sing. He sung of love, of loss, of a time long ago, painting a picture of a world not so different than the one you lived in now. “He sings so well” you breathed, enraptured by his voice and the soft jazz accompaniment that suddenly made the space feel romantic and relaxing. Before you knew it, Eren’s set had come to a close and as he bid the audience farewell, he blew a kiss to your general direction and winked. 

**“I’m gonna kill him”.** Levi stood up angrily, making his chair squeal as it dragged across the floor. 

“Babe, it’s fine, it’s just showbiz” you tried to calm him down, not wanting to cause a ruckus in the restaurant. 

“Just leave us out of it, we want plausible deniability” offered Mike as Petra giggled. 

“Why are you defending him?” Levi snapped, glaring in your direction as he stormed out of the restaurant. 

Breathing a sigh, you grimaced your apologies to the group as you quickly gathered the jacket still around your body as you chased Levi out the door. 

You found him leaned up against a pillar outside the restaurant, looking out at the now darkened sky. As you brushed your shoulder against his, he took your hand.

“I’m sorry” Levi apologized, eyes still not meeting yours. “I’m sorry I’m unable to give you what you want. If you prefer someone like him I won’t fault you.” 

You were confused now, furrowing your brows and moving to stand in front of Levi, thankful your heels made you two exactly the same height so you could look directly into his eyes as your heart clenched in your chest. “Babe, what the hell are you talking about?” 

“I’m no romantic like that and I can’t carry a tune.” Levi explained, “it felt like you were drifting further and further away as he sang. So I understand if you’re falling for the guy.”

“Drifting away? Maybe because I liked the story he was telling?” you tried to reason with him, still confused “Because we’re at a themed jazz café and perhaps I was imagining and enjoying the atmosphere? What type of nonsense goes on in that brain of yours Levi?” 

“You’re…not falling for the guy?” 

“Levi you’re crazy. I love you; you know that.” 

~

When the others had settled the bill, they came outside to find the two of you leaning against the hood of Levi’s car, stars in each other’s eyes as you leaned in for another sensuous kiss. Clearing his throat, Erwin came by to hand you your purse and Levi his bag, Petra in tow as she was riding home with Erwin. You tore your lips away from Levi and leaned against him, smiling up at your boss and friend. “You know what Erwin? We will take those extra two days after all.”


	8. Alleged Allergies

**Alleged Allergies -** LawyerAU

You first noticed it when you were throwing out the garbage one afternoon, its head squeezing through the bars of the trash room, big green eyes blinking at you as it meowed. You always had a soft spot for cats. You loved all animals and were determined to convince your more stubborn half to adopt a dog one of these days. But, as it stood, both of you worked long hours; Levi aiming to stand beside Erwin one day as a name partner of Smith LLP., and you wanting to secure a senior partner role. Begrudgingly, you turned a blind eye, hoping someone had just misplaced their cat. 

The second time you saw it, you discovered it was a _he_. It was raining, and you had totally NOT been looking for him. You just happened to be circling the garbage room. One look at him, curled up in a ball, blinking as the drips from the ceiling of the room hit his pink nose over and over, and you knew. You had to bring the little guy inside. Thankfully, Levi was working late, sending off the final revisions of his assessment to his client. You had about an hour before he got home. You thanked your lucky stars you had the foresight to bring an umbrella as you ran for the nearby corner store to grab some cans of cat food. Tucking the cat you already decided to name Simba into shirt, you pushed open the door of the shop, barely offering the stunned shopkeeper a hello as you grabbed a handful of cat food and whipped out your wallet. You flew from the corner store back to the apartment, fingers stiff from the cold and your shoes uncomfortable as they got more and more saturated with rainwater. 

Choosing to ignore the cold for now, you hung up your coat and set aside your shoes to dry, kicking off your socks and throwing them in the laundry lest Levi come home and throw a fit over your balled up bundles of horror, as he described them. 

You rushed over to the sink, testing the water to make sure it was suitably warm before placing Simba in the water and lathering him up with soap. He looked about three times smaller when wet, his eyes wide as they looked at you. He never once tried to scratch or bite you, letting you wash him thoroughly and rinse him off. After a quick blow-dry, he reverted once again back to his puffball self, licking his paws demurely. You poured some warm milk in a bowl and read the instructions for feeding on the cat food, placing the appropriate amount in a little plastic bowl you managed to dig out from the cupboards. You breathed a sigh of relief when Simba sniffed, and proceeded to vacuum the food up. Eating well was always a good sign. 

After wiping up his mouth of stray cat food and a tiny milk moustache, you sat on the couch, preparing what you were going to say as the clock ticked closer and closer to Levi’s arrival home. In the end, you had only one idea. 

When Levi got home, you were waiting for him. Asking if he had sent off the assessment (he had), and asking him to join you for a late dinner. As you took his coat, he leaned in for a kiss and was surprised when you pulled away afterwards to ask, “You know you’re the best boyfriend in the world right?”. 

Eyes narrowing as he held your shoulders, Levi looked around the house suspiciously. “Did you spill wine on the carpet again” 

“Levi! That was a one time thing! No!” 

“Did you dip your used spoon into my tea leaves again? 

“What! Babe! That was an accident. It wasn’t my fault your tea leaves get moldy so fast” you pouted 

“Ok spit it out. What have you done?” 

Smiling, you took your grumpy boyfriend by the hand as you led him to the sofa. There, in the centre, sitting there, with a big red bow tied around his neck like a tie sat Simba. 

“Y/N…” Levi’s voice was low, laced with a warning. “Tell me this little guy is not staying.” 

“Pleaaaase!” You begged, tugging at his hand. “I’ll review your files for a week. No! A month! AND I’ll take over training the associates for a month!” 

“Y/N….” Levi warned again. “You KNOW I was allergic to cats as a child!” Darn, you had to try harder. 

“Pleaaase Levi! He can stay home by himself while we’re away, plus my file is just about done! I’ll have a lot more free time after we finalize the merger. And look! You’ve been around him this long and I see no hives nor rash and I sure don’t hear any sneezes!”

You whipped out your best begging face, your eyes wide and pleading as you looked into the eyes of the man you knew loved animals as much as you did, albeit in secret. 

“It’ll even be good for your allergies! Maybe we can beat it into submission through exposure!” you exclaimed. 

Levi knew he was fighting a losing battle. He could never resist your begging, let alone your face. Scratching Simba behind the ears, he muttered to no one in particular, “Tch…not bad, lil guy looks clean.” 

“Of course Simba’s clean! I gave him a bath already and look he’s so well behaved!” you pointed as Levi tickled his furry belly. “Plus I have his litterbox already coming in the mail along with all the other things he needs.” 

Levi just hummed, his alleged allergy long forgotten.

~

From then on, you were a family of three. Simba seemed to have been made for your household. A clean freak, Simba never set a paw outside, turning his nose at the prospect of stepping over the threshold. He waited after meals to have his mouth wiped, and never left hairballs laying around, batting at them until they were clumped together by his litterbox. He was perfectly behaved, never scratching up the furniture, never showing any aggression towards either you nor Levi, and was the perfect cuddle buddy. He stalked around the house while you and Levi were at work, lounging in the sun or napping on the couch. Neither of you were gone for too long though, the thought of Simba waiting at home had both of you bringing work home as much as you could, fighting over who got to cuddle with him that night. While Simba preferred Levi during the day, following him around like a little shadow, it was you he chose during the night, curled up at your feet keeping you warm. You shifted, facing a sleeping Levi as you got comfortable under the blankets. Running your hand against Simba’s furry back, you pressed a kiss to your boyfriend’s nose, eyes widening as he murmured in his sleep. “Good boy Simba”.


	9. Pep Talk - Lawyer AU

**Pep Talk** \- ModernAu, Hanji’s cat and Levi’s cat

Today was the day. You picked up Simba, who was busy inspecting his kingdom, making sure not a single speck of cat litter was out of his box. He chirped, surprised that you had picked him up, and then immediately started to purr, tail swishing happily in the air. You placed him on the sofa cushion, your E/C eyes meeting his green ones. 

“Simba” you started, serious. As if he could understand. “Simba, Hanji is bringing Bean over later. You be good to Bean. You don’t bully Bean. Bean is friend you hear? Friend.” 

Simba only narrowed his eyes, tail swishing before he yawned. _Oh well. I tried_. 

Levi had been watching the whole pep talk from where he leaned against the wall, arms crossed, a small smile on his face. If he knew shitty glasses, their new cat would be _exactly_ the same personality, and oh that poor bastard of a cat Bean was not ready for Simba. 

As soon as the whirlwind that was Hanji came through the door, Simba was on alert. He had sought refuge underneath the table after Hanji had ran around your apartment, trying to chase Simba down for “Huggy-poos”, and was currently pressing himself between your ankles, green eyes narrowed at the carry bag that was moving in Hanji’s hands. As if suddenly remembering they also had a cat, Hanji bounded off to release Bean from his carrier. 

What peeked out of the carrier surprised everyone. A milky white cat, smaller in stature than Simbanstuck a single white paw out, testing the waters. Sensing no danger, he stuck his whole head out, baby blue eyes blinking at astonished faces. 

“Hanji! Your cat is such a sweetheart!” you squealed, squatting down near Bean and offering a hand. 

“He was the only one at the shelter that didn’t rub themselves over me, so I figured I had to take him home!” they exclaimed, explanation confusing you. 

“So…you picked the one that was least friendly?” you questioned

“Well, I figured all the other cats would purr and go up to anybody, but this little guy was too scared. Less of a chance of adoption if he’s not so friendly. Reminded me of Mr. Grumpy Senior Partner so I had to take him home!” they smiled, eyes sparkling in affection as they spoke about Bean. 

Suddenly, you felt a warmth against your hand. While you were talking to Hanji, Bean had ventured out of his carrier and had gently pressed his forehead against your offered hand. He was now in the process of gaining as much attention from you as he could, his tail flicking in the air as he butted against your hand, your knee, his back arching up to make as much contact with you as possible. 

“Oh ho?” Hanji gasped, cackling, “Looks like lil bean here really is just like our grumpy! He’s head over heels for Y/N too!”

Levi scoffed from where he was observing and threw you an exasperated look. You just giggled. 

Shyness gone, Bean decided he was in no danger, and started to slink around the space, sniffing and licking at Simba’s empty food bowl before turning to the water bowl. Sticking his entire paw in the water, Bean took a lick at the water dripping off his paw before he proceeded to splash around the water, paw making contact with the water over and over as jaws fell to the ground collectively. 

Levi recovered first. “Oi! Shitty glasses!” he barked, “Go control your devil of a cat!” 

“I swear I’ve never seen him do that before Levi!” was their frantic reply. 

You just stayed where you were, observing from the couch sipping your tea, Simba still on high alert from his perch in your lap. 

Evidently, the play in the water was too much, and Bean proceeded to track wet paw shaped wet patches around the house before he stopped by where the kitchen tiles met the carpeted living room floor. It was there that he decided it was time to throw him his dinner, along with some of his white hair. 

The screech that came out from Hanji’s throat after Levi had nearly strangled them at the sight of his pristine carpet laden with half-digested cat food adorned with white hairs almost made you feel sorry for them. Almost. 

After unloading on your carpet, Bean seemed to be in high spirits, dashing around the space, grabbing one of Simba’s prized mouse toys and flinging it across the room. He did that with a couple more toys before he turned to his carrier. Hanji had evidently put some treats in the carrier to make the ride a little more bearable, and Bean, deciding now was the time to eat them, proceeded to grab each treat from inside the carrier before laying it on the carpet in a pattern only he knew. 

You could see the proverbial steam starting to come out of Levi’s ears. Looking at his house getting defiled by this little monster. But before he could do anything to the white streak that was still flying around his house, a black ball flew to the rescue. You looked to your lap and realized at some point; Simba had left. 

Your cat was now on the carpet, hairs standing up slightly, green eyes narrowed, and tail high in the air. His black fur stood in contrast against the white of Bean, who was frozen midrun, squatting there, eyes large. All eyes watched as Simba slowly stalked over to Bean, one perfectly placed paw in front of the other. As the gap closed, Hanji meeped from where they were. “Holy shit, Simba is going to KILL HIM! Y/N! Do something!” somehow managing to whisper and scream at the same time. 

As your eyes met Levi’s, he just stood there, arms crossed, mischief shining in his eyes as he watched. He made no move to rescue Simba, nor did he attempt to appease the nervous Hanji, who was bouncing from foot to foot.

Just then, you saw Simba move. He had closed the gap, and quicker than lightning, his paw shot out, slapping the astonished Bean across the face, before Bean could react, another slap found it mark. Finally coming to his senses, Bean managed to escape by his whiskers from a third slap as he ran for cover, cowering back in his carrier, treats forgotten. 

Needless to say, Hanji had left soon after that, and poor Bean had yet to be invited back to your home.


	10. Mergers and Accusations

**Mergers and Accusations - lawyerAU**

Stifling a yawn, you got up from your desk to take a lap around your workspace. You had a major meeting coming up, and you needed to finish your due diligence report. You client was in the process of buying out a small pharmaceutical company, and you were the point on the case. Negotiations were starting tomorrow, and you needed to get a grasp on the weak points of the company and weed out any skeletons in closets before the sun rose. If all went well, your client should be able to walk home with a preliminary offer. 

Levi had made himself scarce, his work was less busy these days, so he did what he could to support you. He would let himself into your office at all hours, a small pastry or a cup of tea in hand, wordlessly drop it off, then leave again, door clicking shut behind him. You would often emerge from your office to find him asleep, cuddling Simba, both of them curled up on the couch, a case brief left open in front of him. 

When you finally got off the phone, final numbers were written and circled on your notepad. Your client made it very clear they wanted to pay a fair price for the pharmaceutical company, keep all the existing employees, and reduce prices for the drug on the market. But all this didn’t come cheap. They authorized a 15 million idea, the price your client would like to pay and gave you permission to raise the price to 20 million during negotiations. You doubted that would happen. You were prepared and you had yet to be taken advantage of in the boardroom. 

As you slipped into bed, Levi rolled over, Simba blinking at you from where he slept on your pillow. Kissing both of your boys on the head, you snuggled into your boyfriend’s warm embrace as you prepared for the day ahead.

The next morning, Levi woke you. Your usual matching lingerie power suit already laid out on the bed. He was wearing your favourite suit, the one he wore when he took you out on your first date. He already matched his tie to your outfit, your dress hanging on the closet door as he handed you your coffee. “Go get em babe.” 

Your hair bouncing with your steps, you strutted into empty board room, laying out the materials needed. You gave a nod to Hanji, who was lurking outside the glass walls, waiting for your signal. Soon, a stream of men in suits came in, led by a seedy looking individual named Oluo. He was inside counsel for the pharmaceutical company, and not someone you liked to work with. He was adversarial and curt, but you knew his weakness. As Petra strolled in, water in hand, tucking a stray blonde strand behind her ear as she set the water in front of you, Oluo stiffened visibly. _Gotcha._

You sat in your seat, like a queen upon her throne. Your heels glinting in the light of the fluorescent lights as the men regarded you and took their seat. 

“I appreciate you all gathering here today” you started, your voice authoritative and crisp. “I hope my friend has had enough time to assess our due diligence report, and I understand you have a preliminary offer for us.”

Instead of what you expected, which was a slight wrinkled brow before a slip of paper with a number less than 15 was slid over to you, you received a haughty glare. Your due diligence report was flawless. You made sure of it. You laid out the risks your client was undertaking, and a clear accounting report of the costs it would incur to retrain the acquired employees and swapping out the machinery and bottling facilities to match the existing branding. 

So, when Oluo crossed his hands across his chest, his eyes dangerous, you knew something was wrong. “Miss. Y/N.” he started, sneering at you. “It appears you should worry about keeping your house in order before you go digging for our skeletons. 20 million. Tell your client we know about his supposed ceiling. Watch yourself. We all know what happens to rabid dogs.”

Your hands hitting the tabletop made the man in front of you bite his tongue, his wince doing little to calm the pounding in your heart. _How did they find out?_

“You calling me a bitch Mr. Bozado?” 

“Just like a solicitor to twist my words.” He bit back, clasps on his briefcase snapping shut as he threw a manila envelope towards you, your eyes round as a picture of a notepad with 20 underlined and circled fell out. “I’m not dumb enough to insult you under your own roof. Let me remind you _my friend_ , you are legally bound to relay to your client this offer. Looking forward to hearing from you.” 

And then they were gone. His smirk and his warning burned into your brain. No one could have known about the ceiling price. No one but you. No one but… _No. It couldn’t be._

You couldn’t believe it. It couldn’t be true. Yet, it seemed the only other possibility. Levi was the only other person who could have overheard or seen the offer. No one else. He couldn’t be the one that betrayed you for this deal. He was a senior partner for god’s sake. He bought in. He…

Your thoughts were overflowing, unable to believe you had just gotten bulldozed in your own boardroom. You had not been caught so unawares since your law school days. 

Not wanting to go around accusing your mentor, superior, and boyfriend without any evidence, you faked a smile as you approached the print room, nodding to the other interns and associates that greeted you. 

You looked at the past jobs from the day, and only one code stared back at you. Levi’s. You scrolled to the top, clicking on the file that was sent to an outside number. Unable to believe it. Fax from your office to Oluo’s. Sent not thirty minutes before the meeting. Image file. Levi’s code. 

A shiver went down your spine. What were you supposed to do? Confront Levi? Tell Erwin? Call your client? Wring Oluo’s neck? You contemplated the last option. 

Your heels clacked as you strode into Levi’s office, blowing past a startled Hanji. Thankfully he had stepped out to refill his tea, and you caught a glimpse of his email before the screen blacked out. To: Bozado, Oluo. From: Ackerman, Levi. Subject: You owe me.

Your heart pounded. Your head hurt. Your vision blurred. You reached out a hand to brace against the couch and collapsed onto it. Your deal. Your work. It all came crashing down. Why had he done this to you. Was he intending on leaving? Why else would he sabotage his own firm? 

Just then, your phone rang. You winced as the caller ID displayed your client. _Great._ _Just great._

Answering, your voice was shaky, and you hated how weak you felt. “Hello sir.” 

The man on the other side of the phone was laughing. You furrowed your brows. “Sir?” 

“You are truly, a formidable ally Miss Y/N.” your client wheezed between chuckles. “Remind me to never _never_ mess with the likes of you.” 

“Sir?” You were beyond confused. You just torpedoed his deal. His acquisition was out the window and he was praising you? 

“Who knew you had it in you to be detective _and_ negotiator!” your client continued, “You weeded out the skeletons in their closet, and some bad eggs from our own company.” He paused here. Voice getting quiet. “You know any prosecutors? I intend to file suits against those double-crossing jackals on my staff.” 

“Sir…” you didn’t know what to say. You had no idea what was happening. 

“Ah, I have another meeting to go to. Tell you what Y/N, look through the catalogue I’m sending you. Anything you want. Just give me the word and its yours. I need to call Erwin and tell him to give you a goddamn raise.” 

The line clicked dead as you stared at the phone in your hands. What in the world was happening? 

Still reeling from your shock, you gulped when you saw Erwin and Levi coming down the hall, the taller man smiling into his phone as Levi swung the door open to his own office, blinking at your haggard form on his couch. He didn’t have time to ask you what was wrong before Erwin came in, brushing past Levi’s concerned look before gripping you by the shoulders, dragging you up, and crushing you in a hug. 

“Oi. Hands off.” Levi barked, arms crossing and eyes glaring as Erwin let you go. 

“Y/N that deal today. Magnificent. Truly. Hats off to you. You did a great job. It’s not every day a client settles the bill so quickly and without a fight over billable hours. You know how important this was for the firm and you did splendid.” 

Another pat on your shoulder and Erwin strode out, clapping Hanji on the shoulder as he passed, their facial expression the definition of confusion.

Levi stood by; arms crossed as he looked at you. “You’re welcome.” 

“Levi what the hell is going on?” you shook your head, utterly confused at the events of the day. 

“He didn’t tell you?” 

“Levi just tell me what the hell is going on!” You face was red, and your voice desperate. You just wanted to know everyone else seemed to know and you, the _point_ on the file, seemed to have missed.

“Your call was still on the other night when you were finalizing the numbers. I came in and heard someone on the other side talking about leaking the numbers to inhouse counsel. I faxed the transcript to that idiot Oluo this morning before your meeting, but his secretary stalled it. I called him after and sent him the audio file to threaten criminal charges and sanctions, so he must have caved and sent your client a suitable prelim offer.” He blinked at you after his explanation. “What did you think happened?” 

Your eyes filled with tears as you took in the blurry outline of your beloved. It was all a misunderstanding. The fax, the picture, the email. It was someone from the company who had betrayed your client. It wasn’t him. _It wasn’t him._

At your tears, Levi blinked some more, arms coming out to grab you by the shoulders. “Y/N. Everything alright?” 

You smiled through your tears as you hugged him close. Not caring if you wrinkled his suit. “Everything is perfect Levi. Just perfect.”


	11. Dibs

**Prompt: Reader gets dumped and seeks Levi out for comfort - set in the underground please**

**Dibs**

Truth be told Levi never liked it when you hung around that guy. You were too good to him, always picking up his slack and looking past his snarky comments. If it were anyone else, he would have said something. But it was _you._

He couldn’t shatter your dreams like that. After all, you had been Levi’s shadow for as long as he remembered. Ever since he started fending for himself in the dark alleys of the Underground, he could remember you at his side. He couldn’t quite remember when you came into his life, or how, but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was that you were there. 

So when you stomped your way up the stairs to the house, he knew something was wrong. Even Farlan’s usual greeting of “Hey pretty lady!” didn’t elicit the usual eye roll and flick on the forehead from you, the blonde’s smile quickly falling from his face at your reaction. Something was very wrong.

You walked directly into Levi, not caring that he was just about to wipe the blood of some poor bastard from his knife. Your head was ducked to fit into the crook of his neck, and his usual bark of “Oi! Brat!” was cut off when he felt you choke out a sob against the front of his shirt. 

He looked up at Farlan, shock in his eyes as the blonde shook his head, arms coming up in a shrug. No one knew what happened to you. There was no blood, no injuries, and you walked fine. So what the hell could have happened? 

Putting the cloth and his knife down, Levi pushed you away so he could look at your tearstained face, his arms on your shoulders as you wiped your tears. 

“Who hurt you?” 

What Levi didn’t expect was to hear that stupid idiot’s name as you sniffled. If it hadn’t been for your insistence that both he and Farlan leave the guy alone, he would’ve been beaten to a pulp. 

Sitting you down on the couch, both men listened as you told the story. He had left you, taking you out to dinner before dropping the news. If he wanted to make it to the surface, he couldn’t have you holding him back. Both men listened as you complained about how stupid you were to feel the way you did, after all, he was kind of a jerk to you sometimes. 

Hours later, you were wrapped up in Levi’s jacket, snoring softly against his pillow. The door swung open, the glint of his knife catching the light as Farlan raised a brow. 

“You going out to kick the guy’s ass?” 

He needed no reply. Levi’s eyes said it all. 

Before the door closed, Farlan spoke again. This time, eliciting a response. 

“So, since she’s single now, can I call dibs?” 

“Don’t be insensitive Farlan, she just got out of a relationship.” A pause as the shorter man shook his head. “Besides. She’s mine.”


	12. Fish

**Reader and baby + Papa Levi**

**Fish**

Since you gave birth, Levi had been pushing himself even harder than usual, riding out far and wide to nearby villages trying to buy you the best herbs, the best cuts of meat, and freshest catches of fish. He was determined to play his part in making sure his child was well fed, and the only way to make sure of that was to make sure his beloved was well fed.

Levi held little Lily in his arms as she cooed, little hands grabbing at his hair. If anyone were to wander in the door, they would definitely triple take, the usually stern and unmoving squad leader all smiles and soft when he’s around his daughter. Bouncing the still giggling girl in his arms, he slowly stood up after hearing you call for him from the other room, a hand placed securely under her diaper covered bum as another supported her head. 

As he stepped into your shared bedroom, he found you sprawled out on the bed wincing as you pressed against your chest. “Quick, give her here, I have a blockage I need her to help me clear.” 

“Another blockage? Need some hot towels?” he asked, brows furrowing in worry as he handed Lily to you. 

“No need, honey bee here will do the trick with her feeding” you smiled, unclipping your feeding bra and removing your breast pads. Levi wordlessly took the pads from you, throwing them into a protective bag and tossing them into the wash, nose wrinkling. When he returned, he sat beside you, a gentle hand on Lily as she nursed. Little by little, you felt the tension and soreness from your breast lessening and breathed a sigh of relief. 

Reading your expressions, Levi met your eye. “Little brat’s feeding helping?” 

“Oh my god yes. It’s all clear now thank goodness” you breathed, removing said brat gently to switch her to the other side, your smart little girl latching on immediately. 

Eyes full of love for his two beloved girls, Levi pressed a gentle kiss to the still busy Lily before leaning over and pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Thank you for feeding our child so well.” 

You giggled, catching Levi’s face in your free hand as you returned a kiss to his cheek. “I’m only able to do that because of you. Mikasa told me how long it took you to find that fish we had last night.” 

A slight blush on his face, Levi turned away, slightly embarrassed that you had caught on. You had to strain your ears to hear what he said. “I just love you two so much.”


	13. Hold On

**Hold On - ANGST**

“Look after you sister.” Your mother’s voice still echoed in your mind after all this time. You remembered the day she left you, the rain had passed, and a sliver of sunshine fought its way out from behind the clouds to reflect off the tears that were dripping from your face. You held Ellie’s hand in your own, your little sister barely understanding what had happened. Despite the 12 months that separated the two of you, you sometimes felt you were a decade older. You took on all her troubles, raised her, looked after her. If you had two pieces of bread, you would give her both. 

There was nothing you wouldn’t do for her. 

That is, until the two of you joined the Survey Corps. For the first time in your life, you had something you wanted. Some _one_ you wanted. But Ellie wanted him too. So you held your tongue, letting her have her way. Levi was the same age as you, but you held your tongue. Ellie had many suitors, her personality the opposite of yours, her twinkling laughter and outgoing nature making her a popular cadet. You only had eyes for him, but you held your tongue. 

You would meet his eye occasionally and feel your heart flutter in your chest. You buried your feelings, choosing instead filling the pages of your notebook with your thoughts. Poems, doodles, stories, ramblings. Page after page of your feelings, never once mentioning him by name. You had to look after Ellie. 

When you both joined his squad, it got harder to juggle your feelings and responsibilities. You would take on some of Ellie’s tasks, letting her off the hook when she threw her gear in the corner, blades neglected. You would double check her horse was safely in the stables, shaking your head when she forgot to muck out his stall yet again. You didn’t mind. After all, you had to look after Ellie. 

It was you who would volunteer to do rounds with Levi, leaving your sister to catch up on her sleep as you dragged your body through task after task, working alongside him as you scrubbed each wooden panel of the mess hall floor.

You would comfort Ellie when she cried over Levi, tears streaming down her face when he was too busy with paperwork to go to the village with her. You would hold her, patting her on the head as she fell asleep, hiccups morphing into soft snores. Only after she was asleep would you knock on his door, apologizing for your sister’s actions before accepting a cup of tea as you sat in the silence, him with his papers and you with your thoughts. 

It was a rainy day when it happened. A sliver of sun had fought its way out from behind the clouds, and this time, the light reflected off the tears that shone in Ellie’s eyes as your chest rose and fell shallowly in Levi’s arms. 

Your mother’s last instructions to you were all you heard as you veered your horse out of formation, racing against time to help Ellie. Levi was close behind. He was running to save his girlfriend. But you were running to save your sister. 

Her smile was all you thought of as you slashed at the titans that surrounded your baby sister. Her eyes were all saw as you struggled in the hold of the Abnormal that gripped you tight, your ribs slowly giving in, blood spurting from your mouth as dark spots filled the perimeter of your vision. With your last lungful of air, you sent Ellie off, yelling for her to get on your horse and run. 

You closed your eyes, but your death between those grotesque fists didn’t come. You felt yourself falling, but instead of the cold ground, you fell into _him_. Your eyes fluttered open as your heart thumped uselessly in your mangled body. 

You were finally in his arms, his eyes finally looking at you and only you. You reached a hand to touch his cheek, his own hand coming down to help you. 

“Hey, hey, look at me. Hold on for me Y/N.” he begged; eyes wide as he tried to stop the bleeding. “Hold on.”

Despite his words, your wheezing breaths and the amount of blood seeping through the green of your uniform told him all he needed to know. There was nothing anyone could do for you. He wanted to scold you. Scream at you for being so careless. But he understood. There was nothing you wouldn’t do for Ellie. Nothing. 

You coughed, and quickly retracted your hand from his cheek in an attempt to shield him from the splattering blood. His heart felt heavy in his chest. You were so thoughtful, even in your current state. 

When you reached for him again, you were pressing a notebook to his chest. Your notebook. His face was all you saw as your body started to feel weightless. The darkness in your vision was fading…no…it was your vision that was fading. You took another shuddery breath, shivering despite being in his warm embrace. You left him your final thoughts as you felt your heart stop beating, finally free from the pain. “I love you Levi. Look after Ellie for me.”

~

Levi let himself and Ellie drift apart, the pain of losing a sister and squad member taking its toll. They held each other as squad mates rather than lovers, your sacrifice leaving a deeper void than either of them could handle. Levi had been furious the first couple of nights. What the hell were you doing, telling him such a thing. What the hell were you thinking, hiding it from him for so long. With shaking fingers, he had flipped through the pages of your notebook, reading your words in your neat script. The more he read, the more he understood. The more he understood, the worse he felt. 

You gave up everything for your sister. Your love for her was unconditional, as were your feelings for him. Unable to read any more, he put the book at the bottom of his locked drawers, burying it as deep as his guilt. As his key clicked in the lock, he looked out the window towards the setting sun. 

“I’ll look after Ellie for you Y/N. Don’t you worry.” 


	14. I Miss Her Too

**I Miss Her Too** – death mention, blood mention 

You and Kat had met during training, her bubbly personality making it easy to strike up a friendship. The two of you had gone through thick and thin, from the first time you saved her from a titan, slashing through its nape and claiming your first kill, to when she hugged you to her chest as you cried, afraid that she would distance herself after confessing to her that you were bi. She was always by your side. She picked up the pieces of your heart when you got dumped, would act as moral support, hiding nearby when you broke up with your exes, and would always have your favourite foods ready when you were feeling crummy. In return, you swooped in to save her from horrible dates, protected her from clingy exes who followed her around, and would go and give shitty boyfriends a piece of your mind when you found out they weren’t treating your best friend well. You both shared your secrets, about your childhoods, your parents, and the struggles of growing up. You supported each other through dark days in training, when a squad would come back, horses without riders. You held her as she cried over the death of her brother, and it was she who encouraged you to go and flirt with the captain. 

The ever-gutsy girl that she was, Kat had even dared to threaten Levi when you two finally started dating, telling him that he had better treat you well. He would never admit it to her, but Levi had truly been scared of Kat that day, her eyes fiery as she spoke of how great a person you were, how fiercely she said she loved you and how she would never forgive him if he did not treat you the way you deserved. What Levi never told you was how Kat had made him promise to protect you, no matter what. “If one day I’m gone, you have to protect her Levi. Promise me. Protect her.” 

~

You couldn’t stand it. You screamed and screamed, hands tugging at your blood-soaked hair, wishing you would wake from this horrible nightmare. You knelt by Kat, her hand in yours as she smiled up at you, her face ashen. “Hush now” she whispered, “I’ll always be with you. It’s alright. It’s alright I love you Y/N.” 

You had screamed your love back to her through your tears and as her breathing started to falter, you held her close, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “You know Y/N…you’re like the sister I wish I had…I’m so glad I get to spend these last moments with you…” She coughed, your free hand getting soaked in her blood. You knew it was futile to put pressure on a wound of that size, but you had to try. Shaking her head, you wiped the cold sweat off her face as you held her close, unable to form the words that would be the last Kat ever heard. 

When Levi heard the report from Erwin, he had rushed to the infirmary where Hanji was patching you up. You had washed the blood from your hands, but your uniform was still soaked. What scared Levi most about you was your eyes. He had never seen them so lifeless, without the spark, that glint he had gotten so used to in the months you had been together. As he nodded his head to Hanji, thanking her for taking care of you, he took you gently by the arm as he led you to your shared room. There, he stayed silent, peeling your uniform off you and setting up the shower, urging you to wash the evidence of the day off your weary body. His gentle hands and soft whispers somehow made you mad. How could he be so patient with you. How could he be so calm when Kat was gone. 

Letting him dress you as your eyes filled once again with tears, he sat you down on the bed and brought your face to his chest, rubbing your back soothingly. “Take your time Y/N. Whenever you want to talk, whenever you’re ready, I’m here to talk.” He whispered. 

“I don’t want to talk about anything Levi!” You screamed, tears pouring down your cheeks as you pushed him away. “How can you be so calm! Don’t you care at all that she’s gone? Doesn’t anyone else miss her?” your hands balled into fists as you sobbed. Your grief was slowly turning into anger, anger that Kat would be so reckless, anger at the titans for existing, angry at yourself for not keeping a better eye on Kat. As Levi attempted to wrap his arms around you again, you shoved him away, harder this time. “Just…Just leave me the hell alone Levi. I don’t need your pity.” you spat, standing up and running out the room. You knew it wasn’t fair to lash out at Levi like this, after all, he was probably the next closest person to Kat. But you didn’t care that you were being unfair. You just wanted to feel okay again. You just wanted Kat to be back by your side. 

~

You had made a grave mistake. At first, running into the darkness of the woods seemed like a good idea. You could wallow there in pain, away from prying eyes. But as your mind started to work again, the cloud of pain and anguish slowly lifting, your rational thinking coming back little by little. That was when you realized how cold you were, clad in only a thin shirt and pants unsuited for the blustery day. The next thing you noticed was how you had no idea where you were. You thought you knew this forest like the back of your hand, but as the night grew darker and darker, the shadows seemed to make all the foliage blend into one amorphous, unrecognizable blur. And of course, that was the moment you had to stumble, shoes losing grip on a rock that stuck out from the dirt, causing you to roll your ankle as you heard an ugly “crack”.

As you sat in the dirt, utter lost, shivering, and in pain as your ankle throbbed, you chuckled mirthlessly. You really had fucked up. Staring up into the darn void you screamed, hoping Kat, wherever she was, could hear you. “Kat…I fucked up…I really fucked up didn’t I….” You tried getting up, pleased you were still able to put pressure on your injured foot. Nothing had broken. You looked around and saw a large rock that had some downed trees leaning on it, creating a tiny makeshift awning. You hobbled over, deciding this was where you were to spend the rest of the night, at least until light when you could make it back. Your heart clenched, thinking of how hurt Levi must have been when you told him to leave you alone. You brought your knees up to your chest, head on your knees as you tried not to cry for what seemed like the thousandth time that night. 

Back at base, Levi had passed the time, trying to find more work to do in Hanji and Erwin’s office, giving you the time you needed to let off steam and get back home. So when he stumbled back to the room just before dawn, his heart nearly stopped when he didn’t see your familiar body, a lump under the covers. He then ransacked nearly all the barracks on base, the girl’s room his last hope. When sleepy faces gawked at home, none of them you, he knew something was wrong. Very wrong. You were still out. You wouldn’t be so reckless to spend all. Night out. While he knew the chances of a titan encounter were slim, as the sun got closer and closer to rising, his heart started to pick up speed. Gathering his equipment and hopping on his horse, he set out for the forest, calling out your name. 

It must’ve been hours since you had left base. Your tears had dried and you had fully absorbed the fact that Kat was gone. Your heart panged with loss, but you were finally clearheaded. As you looked towards the east, where the sun was beginning to tinge the sky a light blue, you thought you were still in a dream when you heard the faint sounds of your name being called. Levi.

You screamed your reply, calling out his name over and over again. Soon, you heard the familiar sound of hoofbeats a smile breaking out on your face as your beloved came into view. Dismounting, he wrapped a blanket around you and helped you on the horse, face stern. As safe as the forest should be, he did not want to take any chances. You sat in front of him silently the entire ride back to base. Neither of you said a word.

Finally back in the safety of your room, Levi had wordlessly left you alone once more as he went to grab Hanji to take a look at your ankle. By the time you finished showering, Hanji had arrived, proclaiming your ankle just rolled, telling you to elevate it and keep off it if possible. Hanji cast a glance towards Levi, who was leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, before laying a soft hand on your shoulder. “He’s under more pressure than you think Y/N.” they whispered, packing up their supplies and breezing out of the room. 

Biting your lip, you looked up at your boyfriend, who was still leaned against the door. “Thank you for saving me” you offered, slightly sheepish. Grey eyes flicked over for a brief moment before looking back away. 

“I’m sorry for everything. I just needed some space.” You admitted, looking down into your lap and fiddling with your fingers. 

“Tch.” Breaking his silence, Levi walked over to join you on the bed. “I’m not mad that you needed space. Everyone mourns differently. I have no issue with that” he explained, a soft hand on your knee. “What I cannot condone, as a Captain and boyfriend is you running out there with no regard for your own life.” 

You were silent, acknowledging the irresponsibility of your actions. But what he said next had your head snapping up to look him in the eye. 

“Kat would never have forgiven me if anything happened to you tonight” 

“Kat?” you breathed, your heart still hurting. 

“She made me promise to protect you if anything happened to her. I intend on keeping it.” 

Realizing what Hanji had meant, you felt your body warm and whispered a secret thank you to your best friend before wrapping Levi into a hug, soft tears slowly staining his shoulder. 

“I know. I miss her too”


	15. I Wish

I wish

You were visiting today. Your squad and your new boyfriend were stopping to water your horses and resupply before heading back out, making the long journey to the next village. 

Levi watched from his window as he helped you off your horse. Watched as he urged you to go inside to eat and rest while he took the horses to the stables.

That was where Levi found you. Your body freezing, colour draining from your face as he stood in front of you. You looked around, hoping your boyfriend wasn’t anywhere nearby. 

“It’s good to see you Y/N. You look well.” His voice was the same as it always was. Cold. Harsh. It seemed your months apart changed him very little.

“It’s good to see you too Captain.” You echoed, eyes flitting, unable to look straight into his. 

“Does he bring you flowers?” 

“Captain?” 

“Does he give you his jacket?” 

“Le-“ 

“He take you out on the town?” 

“Levi!” 

“Does he hold your hand?” 

He reeled as you shoved him back. A hand on your waist, your eyes furious as you looked at him in disbelief. 

“Levi. I thought we were over this months ago. I’ve moved on. I’m _happy._ What’s with the third degree?” 

He gave you one last look before he turned and walked away, leaving you with your heart in your hands. 

“Just wanted to make sure he does everything _I wish_ I had done when you were mine.”


	16. Where You Belong

**Where You Belong - ANGST, a little violence, fluff**

The day was a beautiful one. It was a Monday, and Levi was on his way to the market. It had been a couple years since he retired, but the man was on reserve for the military should danger strike again. The titans were long gone, and life inside and outside of the walls had quieted down. Laughter and children filled the streets, and citizens no longer looked over at the walls in fear. The bells that tolled danger stood still and silent, cobwebs and birds’ nests gathering underneath. 

You puttered around the house, dusting, one hand resting on your swollen belly. The ring on your finger caught the light, casting a thousand bright reflections against the walls and ceiling. Life was perfect. You had Levi were dating long before peace befell the land, but he only asked you to marry him when the titans were eradicated. You had purchased a house together, a stone’s throw to base and nestled near a stream where you loved to sit and spend the day reading. You didn’t join the reserves, wanting to just spend the rest of your life with Levi in the comfort of your home. You had enough adventure and danger for a lifetime, each brush with death was one too many. 

When you first threw up that morning so many months ago, you knew in your heart. You knew you were carrying Levi’s son, and no one could convince you otherwise. You waited to tell him, wanting to make sure. Before your belly started to swell, you revealed your secret, surprising him one day when he came home with wood for the fire. He had picked you up, spinning you in his arms before peppering your face with kisses, tears in his eyes as he whispered how much he loved you. How much he loved _both_ of you. 

There were a couple month to go before your baby was due, and every day, without fail, your husband would roll over in bed, a yawn as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes before ducking under the covers to talk to Henry. It was always the same.

“Good morning brat, it’s Papa. You grow nice and big and don’t cause your mother any trouble.” 

You would always giggle, his breath tickling your stomach as he pressed kiss after kiss to your skin. 

The days were peaceful, and as you sat in your chair after dinner that night, trying to get up the will to waddle to the bathroom for the hundredth time that night, Levi finished up with the dishes, walking over to help you up, earning him a soft kiss from you. He just smiled, lovingly brushing hair from your eyes as he patted you gently on the bum, sending you off to the bathroom as he watched with love in his eyes. Life was perfect. 

~

You woke, thinking it was the pregnancy that was making you shiver and short of breath. When you opened your eyes, you tried to look around for the blanket. What you didn’t expect was for your breath to catch in your throat. 

Levi was on top of you, eyes wild as he looked down, the moonlight making him look like a feral wolf. His hands were wrapped around your throat, even as your hands flew up to grab at them, trying to pry them off. His weight was on your legs, preventing you from moving as his eyes shifted to your stomach. 

A tear was falling from your face when he let go with one hand, and you nearly cried in relief when suddenly, a flash caught your eye. Within a second a blade was pressed flush against your neck, your trembling and uneven gasping breaths doing little to prevent the blade from cutting into the soft flesh of your neck. 

You managed to squeak out his name, begging him to stop. 

“Le…vi.” You gasped, tears wetting his hand as he looked at you, not a flicker of recognition in his eyes. 

“Who the fuck are you, and where am I” he growled, looking down at you as his hand loosened against you. 

“Le-vi its…its me. Are you dreaming?” you gasped, black dots swimming in your vision.

“I don’t know who you are.” He spat, pressing the blade closer against you. “Where am I? Where’s Isabel? Farlan?” he looked around the room, blade never leaving your throat. 

“Levi…they’re gone. They’ve been gone for years now. Baby it’s me. Please.” You sobbed, begging him to come to his senses. This was not the man you knew and loved. He would never have hurt you like this even if he tried.

“Don’t call me baby.” He spat as he looked at you again, eyes flickering over your stomach again as he cast you a dirty look. “Pathetic. Got yourself knocked up like my mother.” 

You felt the bile rise in your throat at his words. This was not Levi. You shifted slowly, willing his hand not to move as you faced him. “Levi. It’s me” you begged, hoping against hope that this was a nightmare. “Levi, I’m having your baby. We’re married. The titans are gone. You retired. We’re having a baby. Our baby.” 

“This is a trick isn’t it. You were sent here by the Military Police weren’t you?” his breath was right by your ear, and you felt the shiver run down your spine as he glided the knife along your throat. “I have to say they upped their game.” 

While he was distracted with his talking, you bucked against him, your legs coming out from under him and kicking him back against the back of the bed with a crack. Before he could come after you, you ran for the living room, grabbing the fire poker in your hands, your instincts now to protect your child. You still remembered your training, and as Levi rounded the corner, his eyes met yours, and you swung. Willing yourself not to hurt him too badly before you could figure out what was going on. As the man hit the floor, you did too, your legs finally giving out. 

You shakily tied the comatose Levi up to a chair, making sure the bindings were tight. Then you ran to find Erwin and Hanji. You banged on the door to base, and when they saw you, their eyes widened with worry. Blood had dried on your neck, streaks of red against your pale flesh as you clutched your belly. Through sobs, you explained to Erwin and Hanji that it was Levi who had done this to you. He had gone mad, not recognizing you and thinking he had been kidnapped. 

They ran, you insisting on following behind as you huffed the short distance to your house. Thankfully Levi was still in the chair when you returned, but he was awake, and his eyes narrowed when they saw your companions. 

“Erwin, we meet again. And you, glasses.” 

You sobbed the whole time, huddled in the corner as you rubbed your belly. Erwin and Hanji questioned Levi as you watched. Unable to believe what you were hearing. Your husband had no idea who you were. He claimed he didn’t know you. Your face not eliciting a single memory within him as he looked over. You felt your heart break, sobs wracking your body as Hanji took samples of blood and read through her notes. 

After explaining to Levi that you were in fact, his wife, and he was suffering from memory loss, he quickly lost his wild look. Only when Erwin was sure he posed no threat did they undo his bindings. The still confused Levi had apologized for his actions, a stiff salute as he called you Ma’am. He really thought he was back in the underground, held captive by some unknown force. He looked at himself in the mirror at his friend’s insistence, scars where he didn’t remember them before. A line on his face that wasn’t there so many years ago. You followed behind Hanji as Erwin took Levi around your house, showing him pictures of you and him together. Your first real date after he retired. Your wedding. Your honeymoon. He paused when he picked up the picture you had on the coffee table, his nose against your belly as he kissed it, your hands in his hair as you smiled. 

So familiar was the face that looked like his, yet the memory was nowhere to be found. 

He put down the picture and looked at you, hiding behind Hanji as you cradled your bump. Your eyes were not afraid. They were filled with worry. He tested your name out on his tongue, and the way he spoke it made his body fill with warmth. His mind may not remember, but his body did. 

As soon as your name fell from his lips, you couldn’t stand it anymore. You ran to him, throwing yourself into his arms as you sobbed against him, ignoring Erwin and Hanji’s hands as they tried to pry you off the man who had only hours ago threatened your life. 

Morning light streamed into the house by the time they left your house. You insisted they leave, assuring them Levi would not hurt you now that he knew where he was and who you were. You lay on the bed, on your side as you regarded the man sitting in his chair across the room. He was the same man you knew a decade ago, cold, unsmiling. Dangerous. He was so different than the Levi you knew and loved. You tried to hold in another sob. He wouldn’t try to hurt you again; you knew that much. But when would your loving husband be back? 

You spent the next couple days on base with Levi, Hanji taking their time to try and figure out what was wrong and what caused his memory loss. You were like a stranger to him. He would salute and call you Ma’am half the time, and the other half he would say your name. You weren’t sure which one was worse: the formal ma’am cut you each time he said it, but the way he called your name, without the warmth and love in his voice made your heart shudder in your chest. 

On the third night on base, you had just retired to your room, trying to get comfortable on the thin mattress as you waited to hear the results from Hanji and Levi’s appointment. You rubbed at your belly, twirling your wedding ring as you thought. What would you do if Levi never got his memories back. You couldn’t make him stay, indebted to a woman he didn’t know, made to be a father to a kid he didn’t remember even making. 

As a tear fell, hitting your hand, you whispered the words Levi used to say to your unborn child. “Hey baby…its me Mama. You grow nice and big and don’t cause your Papa any trouble.” 

The clattering sound in the hallway made you jump. Levi’s face appeared and he ran to you, cupping your cheeks in his hands. Your eyes widened as he rubbed a callused thumb across your lips. 

“Sweetheart what are you doing here? Why aren’t you at home?” he whispered against you, eyes staring into yours as you gawked at him. 

You were about to reply when his hands flicked to your throat, where a bandage was wrapped around your skin. His eyes turned murderous. “Who the fuck laid a hand on you? Is the baby okay?” Suddenly, his hands were everywhere, checking you for wounds as he pressed a hand against your belly, feeling a kick as he calmed down. 

You couldn’t believe it. “Levi?” you breathed, hands reaching out towards him. 

“Baby, I’m right here. Tell me what’s going on, please stop crying.” His warmth enveloped you as he pressed a kiss to your forehead, your temple, the top of your head. You shifted in his embrace as you looked to Hanji, who was frozen in the doorway. 

“Sometimes…” they mused, catching your eye, “Familiar sights and sounds may trigger memories. Did you say something he could have recognized?”

Levi looked between the two of you, you sobbing in his arms as Hanji looked at him as if he grew a foot taller. Looking down at the hands that held you, he frowned when he saw scratch marks along the backs of his hands. Scabbing over from where you scratched at him not so long ago.

“Someone tell me what the hell happened.

~

It took two weeks before Hanji was convinced whatever episode caused the memory loss had passed, and it was over, with no lasting effects. Levi refused to leave your side yet wouldn’t allow himself to touch you. He couldn’t believe that in his moment of madness he put his hands on you. He threatened you. _He cut you._

No matter how many times you reassured him he couldn’t forgive himself. He hurt you. He could have hurt both of you. 

That night, you couldn’t take it anymore. You knew it wasn’t his fault, and he knew it wasn’t his fault. Yet there stood a wall between the two of you. You picked up a knife from the kitchen as you walked to find Levi. He turned in his chair as he heard you shuffling over to him, and his eyes widened as he jumped up, hands over yours as he tried to take the knife away. 

“Baby!” he shouted, successfully taking the knife into his hands. “What’s wrong?” 

You were silent as you tilted your neck, hands grabbing his wrists as you pressed the blade of the knife against yourself once more. Just where it was placed not too long ago. Levi froze as you locked eyes with him. 

“Cut me Levi.” 

It was as you expected. The knife clattering to the ground as you held onto his wrists. His eyes were watering, and he shook his head in shock and disbelief. 

“You won’t ever hurt me again. I know you won’t. That wasn’t you Levi. I trust you with my life. I always have and I always will.” You breathed as you pressed yourself against his chest, hearing his heart beating against your cheek. “You came back to me. To us. Where you belong.”


	17. Just A Drink

Just a Drink

You fiddled with the umbrella in your drink as you waited at the bar. You had called in nearly an hour ago to place your order at Rose’s Diner, but as usual, the place was absolutely packed. Everyone knew the after-work specials were amazing there, and the lines were consistently out the door. You knew one of the owners, Eren, as you had gone to school together. You hated the extra attention he gave you whenever he knew you were coming, giving you free drinks, little appetizer specials that he made just for you. You knew Eren only meant well, but sometimes, a girl just needed some mac and cheese with extra bacon and a big thick slice of apple pie. 

As you took another sip of your drink, you were about to get up and check in again with Armin into the status of your takeout when a tall blonde took a seat next to you. 

“Hey, couldn’t help but notice you drinkin’ all alone there sweetheart” He smirked through his words, a cocky smile marring his otherwise attractive features. 

“I am not your sweetheart” you warned, hackles rising at the audacity of this man. No one called you sweetheart and got away with it. 

“Alright alright, sorry. How about a drink to make it up to you then? What do you say eh?” Was the reply from the man, unfazed by your uninterested attitude. 

You were about to formulate another snarky reply when Armin suddenly appeared at your side, with a large paper bag holding what you assumed was your dinner. Saved! Taking the bag from Armin, you thanked him and sent him scurrying back to work after a quick hug. 

You turned back to the blonde that was trying to illicit some sort of romantic reaction from you and forced a smile. “Look, I’m not interested, but I’m flattered. Take care.” 

You could see the anger beginning to build in the man’s eyes at your rebuff, his arm coming up and his finger already pointed at you, no doubt about to unleash some uncouth words about how you were dressed or leading him on. 

But then, your heart flew to your chest as you felt a hand snake its away around your waist. 

“There you are Rosie!”

The owner of the voice was a shorter man with jet black hair. His eyes were boring into yours and for some reason, you relaxed into his arms. You trusted this man.

“Ready to go hun?” The man continued, eyes flickering over to the blonde, who was now gaping at you two. “Hun? You ok? Is there a problem over here?” 

You quickly shook yourself from your shock, and played the part, leaning into the shorter man’s touch. “No problem here love, I was just leaving. Got our food! Let’s go.” 

With another pointed glance at the blonde man, you turned on your heels and allowed yourself to be led out of the diner and onto the busy street outside. As soon as you were out of the restaurant and around the corner, the shorter man immediately let go of you and stepped away to give you some room. 

“Sorry about that. I’ve seen that guy before, and he doesn’t take no for an answer. I didn’t mean to overstep and make you uncomfortable.” 

You smiled at the man and stuck out your hand. “I appreciate it. I’m Y/N.” 

“Y/N,” the man replied, before snorting a laugh, “It’s a much better name than Rosie. Can’t believe that idiot didn’t catch on. Rose’s, Rosie, it was the best I could do. I’m Levi.”

You laughed and shook your head, “Hey, no extra points for creativity Levi. It’s nice to meet you. I appreciate you saving me. 

“Anytime, Miss Y/N.” Levi nodded towards you before turning away. He only turned around after you shouted his name after him. 

“Hey…Levi, did you want to…come up to my apartment and eat this with me?” You inquired, unsure of why you felt so much trust and reassurance in this stranger’s presence. Well, not a full stranger anymore…after all, you did know his name now. 

Levi was just as surprised and furrowed his brows at you in question. 

“It’s just that…I ordered a lot of food, and since you saved me, I figured the least I could do is share my dinner, and I just live upstairs.” You gestured towards the apartment buildings that were situated above the busy diner and tilted your head to the side with a small smile, waiting for the reply. 

“Tch, you’re quite forward aren’t you, brat?” was the unexpected reply. But for some reason, you could tell that he was just teasing, the sparkle in his eye giving him away. 

Feeling frisky, you shrugged. “What can I say, I love me a knight in shining armour…and some Rose’s mac and cheese. Sounds like a winning combination to me.” 

Rolling his eyes at you slightly, Levi strode over and took the bag of food from you. “Lead the way then, Miss Y/N”. 

~

Many bowls of mac and cheese, and a bottle of wine later, you took the ice cream out of the freezer and placed a dollop of vanilla over the now warmed apple pie. Levi was standing by your kitchen island, his hands wrapped around the stem of his wine glass, eyes fixed on you as you bustled around. He had learned a lot about you over dinner; about your friends Eren, Armin, and Mikasa, who owned Rose’s downstairs, how you studied art history at the university, how you recently graduated and worked as a curator at the gallery down the block, and most importantly, how you didn’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend in your life. 

Your conversations were so smooth and unforced, and silences natural and comfortable. Your bright smile and independent, yet easygoing nature a refreshing change for Levi. He felt drawn to you, comfortable with you, despite having just met. Little did he know, you felt the same way. The way Levi carried himself, the no nonsense attitude he exuded, and the sheer attractiveness of the man and the way he saved you earlier made you feel a way you had never felt before about anyone else. 

As Levi accepted the plate of apple pie from you, he noticed how your eyes flickered over his face for the hundredth time that evening, and how your fingers lingered against his just a touch too long. Not wanting to be too forward, he cleared his throat. “I really appreciate you sharing your dinner with me tonight Miss Y/N.” 

When you only hummed and smiled in response, Levi cleared his throat again and felt a little, dare he say, shy, as he asked you, “Would you like to join me for coffee tomorrow?” 

Turning around to face Levi and giving him another small smile, you placed your own plate of apple pie down before striding up to him. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you surprised even yourself when you leaned in and gave the slightly stunned Levi a small kiss. 

Pulling away but leaving your hands around his neck still, your noses touched as your breath mingled with his. You were barely able to accept his invitation for coffee before Levi pulled you in for another kiss.


	18. Monster

**Monster - ANGST**

**“I was devastated when we broke up, and I’ll admit I’m still trying to get over it. But at no point did I cast you as the monster…so why are you insisting on making me one? Why do you want to hurt me so badly” - Chicago Med**

**Three months ago**

You sighed as you walked back to your room, trying to rub out the soreness of your shoulders. As you rounded the corner, you were too focused on the dull ache in your muscles to notice where you were going and of course, of all people you had to run into _him._ As you tried to catch the breath that was knocked from you, you hastily bowed, mumbling a quick “I’m so sorry captain, I’ll watch where I’m going next time.” before continuing towards your room. A harsh grip on your shoulder stopped you. 

“Hey. Y/N. Stop right there.” Levi’s voice was like ice, each word cutting into your soul. 

“You did that on purpose didn’t you. Bumping into me like that. Two weeks of stable duty. Don’t let it happen again.” 

“Captain…I had no idea you were there. I’m really sorry.” Your eyes were downcast, not wanting to start a ruckus. You could handle a couple weeks of stable duty. 

“No idea I was here, bull. Better make that three weeks of stable duty. Dismissed.”. Levi’s eyes were hard, staring at you, as if daring you retaliate. 

All you could do was silently bow before running for the safety of your room. 

**Two months ago**

You smiled to Jean as you high fived. The pre-expedition checks on all the horses and gear was finally complete. As you strapped your gear on and mounted your horse, you couldn’t help but cast a sidelong glance at Levi. He was sitting atop his usual horse, his gear already fully loaded. It was a simple mission, general mapping exploration, should be minimally dangerous. 

That notion was shattered before the sun hit the top of the sky. Two titans had appeared and while they were dispatched quickly, somehow one of Levi’s gas canisters had malfunctioned, nearly causing the man to spin into a tree. You knew he was furious, and by the look in his eyes as he came storming towards you, you were in for it. You braced yourself, knowing full well you were not in charge of his gear inspection. 

“Y/N. You just want my position so bad don’t you. You were passed up for squad leader last month, and you take it out on me? You trying to get us all killed out here? You need to take this more seriously. You better believe Erwin will hear of this.” Each sentence he spoke was punctuated with a harsh jab of his finger against your chest. 

Jean, hearing the yelling, came rushing to your aid. “Captain!” The young man exclaimed, “Y/N was not the one who inspected your gear! The canisters were my responsibility. Please. It wasn’t her fault.” He pleaded. 

“Tch. She has seniority, and I don’t care who inspected what. Bottom line is she’s your senior, and it’s her responsibility to supervise you. Your failing is her failing Kirschtein.” Without another glance, Levi stalked away, his head shaking. 

You felt Jean’s reassuring arm around you, yet all you could do was hang your head. 

**One month ago**

You grunted as you hauled fresh hay into the kennels, nearly done with stable duties for the night. Levi had assigned you three more weeks of stable duty when you were chosen instead of him to deliver an important piece of mail. He took out his anger on you, as usual, assuming you had sweet talked or seduced Erwin into the decision. 

Rubbing the noses of all the horses as you checked on them one final time, you decided it was time to retreat back to your quarters before the new recruits used up all the hot water. 

Hours later, you were roused by the sounds of a horse in distress and leapt from your bed to investigate. Levi’s mare was loose, running amuck, tracking mud all over. Her body was filthy and her eyes wild. She would need to rest and was in no condition to ride. 

As you led her back to the stables, you found the plank holding the gate closed on the floor, a rusty nail half buried in the dirt. That plank was the only thing that held the paddock gates closed. It had been on the list of things to fix for ages now, but somehow no one ever got around to it. 

By the time you cleaned the mare up again, it was nearly morning. As you plodded back to your room, you were once again caught from behind. 

“Y/N. I heard you let my horse escape. Explain to me how all the bad luck these days is associated with you and directed at me. You do this on purpose?” 

Exhausted, all you did was hold up the nail. “Captain, the nail was loose. We were supposed to fix the gates months ago. It was an accident.” 

“Funny how accidents keep happening around you and me hm?” 

Not wanting to hear anymore, you ignored the scathing tone and harsh words and collapsed into bed. 

**Three weeks ago**

It was the week of the strategy meeting with Erwin and some of the other higher ups, and you were eager to speak. You had done hours of research into the terrain and had some ideas as to the most efficient and safest route the team should take for the expedition. As you took your seat and prepared your materials, you couldn’t help but feel eyes boring into you. 

As the meeting commenced, Levi was fully in charge. He presented his plan and made good logical defences towards his chosen route; however, the last portion of his plan was deemed by the higher ups as being too risky, and they were soliciting second opinions. 

As you tentatively raised your hand, Erwin eagerly called on you to present your opinion. You laid out your plan, supplementing and making minor tweaks to Levi’s existing course of action. You could see from the nods that the higher ups were approving of your chosen route and strategic maneuvers. They clapped you on the shoulder as they filed out of the room and congratulated you on receiving point for the mission. Point for a mission you did not want responsibility for. 

Levi of course, was last to file out and his anger was radiating off of him. “You HAD to undermine me didn’t you Y/N. You just HAD to prove you were better than me in front of all those old geezers? Couldn’t have just let me have this one. You’re so selfish.” 

It took nearly five minutes before the tears stopped. 

**Two weeks ago**

It was the day before the expedition, and you were exhausted going over the plans again and again in your head. God knew you had loads of time to think about your plans as you were still on stable duty, shoveling mounds of shit and hay was surprisingly conducive to your mental focus. As you washed up for the umpteenth time that night, you gloved up and stood alongside Sasha and Connie as you all began serving food in the mess hall. 

It was nearly midnight when Levi stumbled into your room. His eyes wide and forehead sweaty as he clutched his abdomen. You barely had time to register his presence before you were running over to help him stand. Rather than receive words of thanks, a harsh slap upside the head was all you received. As you blinked up at Levi, eyes wide in shock, he glared at you with betrayal in his eyes. 

“You tried to poison me Y/N? You want to take the glory for the expedition? My planning, my squad, and you want the honours? I don’t care. I never cared for honours. But I need to be there to protect them. And you poison me?” 

Your eyes filled with hot tears. You couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Levi. I never did anything to you. I never did and never will. I never meant to bump into you. I never meant to miss a faulty gas canister during inspections, I never let your horse out on purpose and I sure as hell did not want to take point on this mission NOR did I poison you.” 

You took a wheezy breath, your chest heaving and tears flowing freely, your hands clutching your chest in an attempt to alleviate all the hurt you had been bottling up. 

“Levi, look. I was devastated when we broke up, and I’ll admit I’m still trying to get over it. But at no point did I cast you as the monster…so why are you insisting on making me one? Why do you want to hurt me so badly Levi?” 

Finally meeting his eyes for the first time in what seemed to be ages. You hoped that your words would get through to him. Every little thing he blamed you for. Every task he accused you of stealing from him. All the frustration at him assigning you stable duty, it finally overflowed. You were done. 

“I’m done Levi. Run your mission. Do whatever you want. I’m done.” Your voice was defeated. You were defeated. After so long, you were done. You endured all of it, hoping one day his treatment of you would change if you just followed orders and kept your head down you could go back to being normal colleagues. But after months of this treatment, you knew. He could never trust you again. No amount of waiting or enduring would change that. 

**Today**

Levi glanced towards your room as he walked by. You had been gone for two weeks. After that night, you had put in for a transfer to another battalion, and by noon the next day, you were gone. 

Perhaps it was too late to tell you that he had been the one who wasn’t looking at where he was going that night. 

Perhaps it was too late to tell you that he now knew the gas canisters were faulty due to engineering defects, a whole shipment having been deemed defective. 

Perhaps it was too late to tell you that he now knew the mail you delivered was to a personal friend who requested your presence before their death.

Perhaps it was too late to tell you that Hanji had caught a rabid raccoon who had been taking refuge in the stables which likely spooked the horses the night his mare escaped. 

Perhaps it was too late to tell you that a higher up had confided in him that he only made you point on the mission in case something went wrong and you were deemed a better sacrifice than Humanity’s Strongest. 

Perhaps it was too late to tell you that he had found mold in one of his containers of tea leaves. The same type of tea he had drunk the night he was ill. 

It was definitely too late to tell you he was sorry.


	19. Never

**Never** \- angst, hurt to fluff, blood mention, death mention 

It had been a horrible mission. Even though he did not personally know anyone who was killed, being surrounded by that much blood and carnage wounded Levi deeper than even he thought possible. The entire ride back to base, all he could think about was seeking comfort in your arms, relishing the familiarity they provided. When he arrived on base, what he did not expect to see was a woman, running to the cart that carried the dead and the dying. As she clutched the hand of her already stiff husband, no one was close enough to stop her from plunging the end of his half-mangled blade into her heart. For some reason, in that moment, all Levi could see was you. It was you who had the blade buried deep inside. It was you who collapsed atop _his_ body, pressing a last kiss against his unblinking eyes. The pain that ripped through his heart imagining you having to go through that nearly causing him to fall off his horse.

That was the night he made up his mind.

~

Levi had broken up with you out of the blue. All you knew was one day, you had injured yourself in practice, your ankle swollen and red despite your best efforts. The next day, you had been benched from the mission by your squad leader, and when he got back that night, instead of transforming from strict squad leader to your secretly cuddly boyfriend, he had strode into the room, and wrenched the drawer containing your items open, demanding you pack and move into a different room.

As you packed, you begged for an explanation. Were you moving rooms? Was he coming with you? Instead of answering any of your questions, he just stood there, eyes glaring at your haphazard attempt to organize your things. The only thing he left you with was, “I realized that I don’t love you. I couldn’t pretend any longer. We’re breaking up.”

With each sentence, your heart shuddered. At first you almost smiled, not believing his first sentence your resolve wavering as your ears pounded, the sound of your breaking heart muffling the room. By the end of his second sentence, your heart cracked in your chest as you dropped everything you held in your hands and crumpled to the floor, gasping for breath as it felt like your heart had stopped and your lungs had been ripped out. Your tears fell, fat drops of seawater burning your cheeks as the heartbreak ran down your cheeks. By the end of his third sentence, you wished you were dead, your heart betraying you by continuing to beat, sending pain throughout your body, the horrible reminder that you still had to work with the man you now called your ‘ex-boyfriend’.

For the rest of the week, you stood outside his closed door day after day, begging to speak with him. Begging for an explanation. Begging for an answer. When had he realized he never loved you? Why did he pretend? Was everything a lie?

Of course, he refused to see you. Going so far as to avoid you completely, making sure he was always surrounded by another member of the squad so you could never catch him alone. After a couple weeks of blindly hoping for an answer, your optimism of a reunion and getting back together turned into frustration, which turned into rage. How _dare_ he throw you away like this. How _dare_ he take your love and use you the way he had, caressing your body during those cold nights. How _dare_ he whisper those wonderful words to you that made your heart flutter and gave you hope for a brighter future. How _dare_ he lie to you.

From then on, he ignored you and you ignored him. You reminded yourself every morning in the mirror, screaming to yourself that you did not care about him, you did not love him anymore, and that you hated him. After all, you pretend for long enough and anything can be true right?

That day, you once again reminded yourself that you did not care, that you were over him, and that you had moved on as you strapped on your gear. You were joined by Squad Hanji for an expedition to unchartered lands. As you hauled yourself onto your horse, you tried not to look. You really did. Despite your best efforts, your eyes flickered over to _him_. He was helping Petra onto her horse. You tried to steel yourself to it but failed as your already broken heart seemed to crack some more, the pain causing you to double over as you clutched the reins.

“Y/N?” Petra’s sweet voice called out as she rode over to you, her face a mixture of pain and pity. “Y/N are you alright?”

Straightening up, you shook your head, wiping away tears as you smiled. “Just fine Petra, thank you. Don’t you worry about me.”

“Listen…about the captain…” Petra started, looking over her shoulder to make sure Levi was out of earshot. “Don’t trust his words okay? He never lies unless he feels it is absolutely necessary.” Offering you a small smile, she rode away, assuming the formation as the group readied itself to head out. Your thoughts were a jumbled mess in your head at this point, unable to understand what Petra meant. Lies? Words? Necessary? You couldn’t understand.

The sound of a terrified gasp from behind you ripped you out of your head and into reality. Titans. As Squad Hanji engaged, you went into fight mode, forgetting about everything else and channelling all your frustrations into your blade, hacking left and right. By the end of the fighting, as steam filled the air, your eyes focused on what looked like a mannequin. As you looked around, you were horrified. The bodies of Squad Hanji were all around you, some no longer recognizable while some looked like they were asleep, peaceful and quiet, the only clue to their real status was the sickly colour of the stained grass underneath them. Your eyes widened as guilt shot through you. _If only I had fought harder. Maybe I could’ve saved them…maybe they…_ Hanji stood by, emotions swimming in their eyes as they looked out at their former squad.

In the middle of your horror, you felt strong arms envelop you as you were gently pulled out from your misery to soft coos of your name. Looking up at your savior, you were surprised to find Levi pressing you against his chest, the familiar smell of him wafting over you. He was telling you how glad he was that you were safe. That you had done well, and that it was all over now. As you slowly regained control of your limbs, you looked into his eyes, unseeing and unmoved as you simply pushed him away. Your body was betraying you, moulding itself back to the contours of Levi’s body, your heart nearly screaming in your chest as you forced distance between your bodies. You couldn’t let him get close to you again because the next time he left; you would be too broken to fix. You were quiet the entire way back to base, pretending not to notice the worried glances thrown towards you by a certain someone.

_You were trapped. The titan had you in his hands and you struggled for breath as it squeezed, your scream a silent one as you felt your bones break. Just then, Levi swooped in, blades stabbing into the eyes of the titan that held you captive. As the monster screeched, it let you go as you fell to the floor. You could only look up as you backed away, leaning on your hip as your one working leg pushed against the ground. Your lungs were still heaving, and you could not even work out a yell to warm Levi that the titan had tangled his lines. As he tried to retract his lines, he was caught in himself like a spider falling for its own webs, tangled and vulnerable. When you finally screamed, it was too late. Levi halfway down the throat of the titan he just saved you from as its jaws closed around him. The last thing you remember seeing was his face, bloodied lips mouthing to words “I love you”._

Screams. The screams were so loud. It wasn’t until your door was slamming against the wall that you realized there were people in your room. And only when they slowly walked towards you, hands out as they tried to soothe you that you realized it was _you_ who was screaming. As the final bit of air left your lips, you heard yourself. “LEVI!”

You had been screaming for him.

You let arms hold you, your entire squad had burst into your room upon hearing your screams, something all too often experienced in the barracks. As they each raised your hands to touch their face, words of reassurance were spoken. Telling you how they were okay, they were alive, and you were too. The most important person that you wanted to touch however, left himself for last. By the time it was Levi’s turn, you cupped his cold cheek in your hand, as he held your wrist, eyes looking into yours. You ran your thumb over his lips as you mouthed the last words he said to you in your nightmare.

“She’s alright everyone. Get some rest” you heard him say, dismissing the rest of the squad. As soon as the door clicked close behind them, you suddenly felt yourself smothered once again into his chest, your arms shakily coming up behind him in a tight embrace. When you finally separated, you were surprised to see tears in his eyes.

“I am so fucking sorry.” He whispered, hands moving to remove the hair that was matted to your forehead by sweat. “I thought it would be easier if we broke up. I did not want you to suffer if I died.”

By now, you were crying again, his words frustrating you more.

He continued, “But today…when I thought I had lost you. I realized no matter if we were together or not, the pain would be there.”

“So you thought breaking up with me would save me from heartbreak?” your anguish clear as tears streamed down your face. “You thought the best way to protect me was to break me?”

“I was so wrong Y/N. I lied to protect you. I love you. I always have and always will.” He whispered, embracing you once more and brushing a hand down your hair. Your resolve crumbled. All the hurt you had bottled up no longer mattered. The relief at seeing the man you loved alive and well left no doubt in your heart that no matter how you pretended, your brain could not win over your heart. Pressing your foreheads together you pushed on despite your tears.

“You know, I never stopped loving you either” you murmured. “Never.” 


	20. Never Expected

**Never Expected –** ANGST, fluff, hurt/comfort 

Humming softly to yourself, you tucked a stray whisp of hair that managed to escape from the grip of the band in your hair before heaving yourself off your knees and dusting them off, admiring the bouquet in your hands. It had been another gorgeous day, and it was uneventful on base. You had finished with your chores early after Levi’s tossing and turning in bed had woken you up, and despite his protests, you decided to get up with him to get an early crack on the day. Smiling at the thought of your boyfriend, you deftly tied a ribbon using some grass, securing the bouquet before tucking it against your chest. Gathering your pruning shears and sun hat, you made your way back to base with one last look at your beloved garden.

This morning, you noticed now bare the table he usually drank tea at was and figured you could show him how much you loved him _and_ brighten up your room at the same time. Walking through the hallway, a vase you managed to snag from Mikasa tucked under your arm, your stomach flip-flopped when you saw a familiar figure up ahead. “Levi!” you chirped, running up to him, a bright smile on your face. “Look!” 

He had stopped the moment he heard your voice and turned around only to have you barrel right into him. Barely managing to stay upright at the force of your excitement, instead of your beautiful face, all he saw in front of him was a bunch of colours. “Did you pick these?” he asked, stepping back to put some space between himself and the fresh smelling bouquet. “Mhm!” you confirmed, nodding your head. He never expected to feel this way.

This is what drew him to you. At first, he thought there was something wrong with you, always happy, bubbly, and kind to everyone you met. He couldn’t understand what a soul like you were doing in the military. Surely you would be on the arm of some snooty noble with your beauty and charming personality. Perhaps this initial puzzlement was what brought you two together. You couldn’t see what everyone else saw – unapproachable, curt, uninviting and brash. All you saw was how kind he was, how much he cared for others in his own ways, and how strong and intelligent he was. When you started dating, you brushed aside the comments everyone made about how lucky Levi was to have you and pretended not to hear the whispers about how you were too good for him, or him too good for you. Other than perhaps the other vets, no one knew Levi the way you did, and that was enough for you. You never expected to feel this way

~

A couple of days later, the mess hall was abuzz with excitement. With Erwin’s permission, you had made the others help you with your garden harvest; carrots, potatoes, tomatoes, and an assortment of fruits filling baskets. You were also given the day off, prepping and pickling items to store for the winter months. You worked, diligently packing certain items with salt, making jams and jellies, pots bubbling away and liquids reducing all around you. Levi stood by, leaning against the doorframe, shooing away cadets (mainly Sasha) who tried to sneak a taste of what you were cooking. He knew better than to offer you help or attempt to clean up – while you were cooking, you were intense. And if he valued the tip of his nose, he would leave you to cook in peace. 

While everyone cheered their thanks to you as they sat down to eat, you beamed, happy to be able to brighten everyone’s day a little. As you leaned subtly into Levi’s side, his spoon stopped before it reached his mouth. “You’re not eating?” 

“Mmm” you shook your head. “I was tasting for flavour and seasoning all night, I’m super full!” 

Satisfied with your answer, Levi allowed you to continue to lean against him while he ate, discreet enough for his tastes. Inside, his heart was bursting with pride, his woman being such a goddamn catch. He never expected to feel this way. 

Over the next couple of weeks, you were still on cloud nine. Everything was going amazingly with Levi. He seemed to be a little busier than usual these days, but it didn’t make you love him any less. You cherished the time you had together, the little peck he allowed you to give him when you brought him his cups of tea, the way he leaned into your touch when you massaged his headaches away, and even the way you got to feel his presence when he slipped into bed with you in the wee hours of the morning. Every day you woke to his scent on the pillow, your heart pounding in disbelief that you were able to call him yours. You had never expected to feel this way. 

It was another week later when you first felt like you may have done something wrong. Levi was holed up in his office for longer hours every day, seemingly in hours of meetings with Hanji. It was weird since the base was not too busy, but you chalked it up to an expedition you were not privy to, leaving them be as it was not your place. That night, you felt Levi slip into bed with you, and smiled, snuggling into his body. For some reason, he held you tighter than he ever had before. 

You never expected to feel this way. When you had awoken, you were surprised to see Levi sitting at the table, fingers brushing the fresh bouquet you had placed on the table the night before. He was deep in thought, his brows furrowed and eyes red around the edge. You quickly slipped out of bed, running up to him. “Is something wrong Levi? Headache? Aches? Work?” Your hands were everywhere, trying to find the source of his pain in order to take it away. “Y/N” he spoke, the tone of his voice making your hands freeze midair, a chill running through your body. “Let’s break up.” 

Your hands fell, hanging limply by your side as your wide eyes filled with tears, your heart pounding in your chest as your mind raced, taking a seat at the table as legs gave out. _What did he say? Did he…?_

“W-what?” you stammered, hands fisting in the fabric of your sleeping pants, your tears splattering. Hoping. Wishing. Begging that you heard wrong. 

“I said, let’s break up.” He repeated, the words an icy stab through your heart, goosebumps rising over your skin as you felt your stomach flipflop, wanting to throw up. 

“W-what?” you repeated again, still not registering as the tears started to flow faster, your breathing coming out ragged and uneven. “Why! Levi why! Did I do something wr-wrong? Was it- was it that day I leaned against you in the mess hall at dinner? Maybe the dead leaves I didn’t clean up from the table?

He just shook his head, standing and stepping away from you, something undecipherable in his eyes. “No. Y/N. It’s not your fault. You did nothing wrong.” 

You never expected to feel this way. You hadn’t left the room since that morning, your feet somehow clammy despite all the liquids that were coming from your eyes. You managed to crawl into bed after Levi left, assuring you once more that you had done nothing wrong. You curled up in bed, knees against your chest, your hands clutching your chest, the feeling of your heart beating in conflict with the way it felt. To you, it felt like your heart had shattered into a million pieces. Each beat was a lie. Your heart was broken. You replayed the last couple of weeks in your head over and over, trying to pinpoint what you had done wrong, trying to figure out how you had ruined something so perfect. By the time night fell, Hanji had managed to somehow pick the lock to your door, bursting in to find you in the same position. You had missed your appointment to go and assess the growth of some crops they had helped you genetically splice.

They held you, reassuring hand on your back rubbing away your hiccupping sobs as you wet the front of their shirt with your tears. They held you as you screamed your frustration, hot tears still managing to spill after a day of crying. They held you when you went limp, finally succumbing to sleep after exhausting yourself. Tucking you in, dried tears and puffy eyes marring your skin, Hanji heaved a sigh as they tiptoed out the room, willing themselves to stay strong. 

You never expected to feel this way. It had been a week since he broke up with you, and you had left the bed only to use the bathroom and shower, the cold water hitting you echoing how you felt inside. You barely ate, the bitter coffees Hanji brought you every once a while the only thing you could keep down. Your cheeks were sunken and your skin an ashen shade, but it was your puffy and unfocused eyes that truly showed how much you had been affected. Hanji had managed to play off your mysterious disappearance with the others, telling them you had come down with some illness and quarantining in your room. Gifts of tea, fruits, and even flowers they picked from the garden were brought in at first, but at the sight of tea and flowers, you only started to cry harder, reminding you of the last moments you shared with Levi. You really couldn’t understand. As much as you replayed the past weeks in your mind, you could not find what you did wrong. You had begged and pleaded with Hanji, asking them over and over again why Levi would break up with you. Slowly, you realized maybe you had done nothing right. Your whole existence next to Levi was a burden on him, and your heart clenched once more, thinking about how much it must have annoyed Levi to have a talkative annoying brat like you clinging to him. You laughed bitterly, tears running down your cheeks again, your pillowcase barely absorbing the moisture anymore. God how stupid had you been. Of course, he had broken up with you. You were too much for him, of course you were. Your incessant attentiveness, the way he must’ve cringed at your touch when you ‘helped’ him with his headaches, how he must’ve put up with you tracking dirt and bringing in those stupid flowers from the garden. God, how you made him keep Sasha out of the kitchen that day when he probably had loads to do…your self-hatred at what you had done to the man you so loved hurt you so deeply the only thing you could do was to scream into your pillow until your throat was raw and voice hoarse. 

Hanji couldn’t take it anymore. As much as they loved Levi, they loved you too. And seeing the two of you thick headed idiots destroy each other was driving them crazy. Every time you asked them why your heart was broken it took everything they had not to tell you. They knew Levi could probably take it, knowing how he handles his pain. But it was you who they worried about. Your bubbliness and kindness were core aspects of your personality, and they could not imagine a world without your brightness. 

As they opened your door that evening, a small roll of bread with your usual cup of coffee in hand, they were shocked to see you tearing at your chest, red marks already marring your chest from your scratches where the thin shirt you wore did not cover, little droplets of blood springing forth. They had immediately come to your side, worriedly pulling your arms away from yourself. “Y/N! What happened?” 

Your ragged breaths came out, for once your voice was strong, scaring them. “I did this Hanji. I did this. I _made_ him. I made him endure so much. No wonder he hates me. He hates me gardening, tracking dirt everywhere. He hates that I made him spend time with me away from work. He hates that I took away his personal space. He hates that I touched him without asking. Hanji, I did this. It’s my fault!” 

Your hands trembled in Hanji’s strong hold, “Did he date me out of pity?” you whispered, scared to ask a question to an answer you already knew. “He dated me because he felt he had to didn’t he…” 

A loud crack made you jump. Hanji had slammed their hands against the table, chest heaving. Turning to you, their eyes were more dangerous than you had ever seen them, serious and honest. Then they told you. They told you how Levi had been feeling inadequate. They told you how he loved the way you would give him a kiss when you brought him tea. How much he loved to watch your eyes sparkle as you told him about the flowers in the bouquet you picked that day. They told you how much he loved your respect for him, being discreet in your affection and giving him his own time and space. 

They also told your through your tears, how he was scared he would hurt you. He would watch couples out on the town, holding hands, men tucking stands of hair behind their lover’s ear, the way a hand would be casually thrown around hips, kisses exchanged without a second thought. Hanji told you how hard he tried to push himself to be affectionate, and how he couldn’t bring himself to do it. And that’s when he knew. He knew there were things about him that even he could not change and being affectionate were one of those things. He knew how beautiful you were, how amazing you were in every aspect, the perfect soldier yet somehow an amazing gardener and cook. He couldn’t help but think what he thought when he first met you, how you would be better off in the arms of some noble, or someone who could shower you with affection the way you showed him. Hanji told you how much he was scared to death of hurting you, how he was scared of getting hurt himself, and wanted to let you down easy while it was still early in the relationship, not wanting you to leave him one day, irreparably broken and alone once you realized there were people out there who would treat you better. 

You never expected to feel this way. The way your anger and frustration bubbled over at Hanji’s words. _That absolute IDIOT!_

Throwing blankets off yourself, a swig of the coffee washing down the huge bite of bread you shoved in your mouth. You were going to kill that man. 

Levi didn’t know what hit him. He was alone in his office, ready for another sleepless night filled with self-hatred. Every time he thought of you, every time he missed you, he reminded himself how it was for the best. How it was better that he broke it off now for your sake and his own.

He was in the middle of one of those thoughts when the door slammed open, wood shuddering as it hit the wall, hinges creaking. You stood before him, looking sickly yet beautiful, your lips chapped and hair dull, eyes puffy, red, and _oh god_ , full of an anger he had never seen off the battlefield. 

You strode over as he sat there gawking at you and gulped slightly when your eyes met his. “Levi you absolute IDIOT!” you screamed at him, “You don’t think I know what type of person you are? You think I _care_ that you don’t make out with me when we go out? You think I _care_ you don’t call me by some pet-name more than my actual name? You think I care about that Levi? You think _I_ of all people, don’t know you well enough to know you’re not the sweetest most affectionate guy out there? Levi, I love _you._ Levi, I love YOU, and your stupid crazy thoughts, your neat freak-ness, your curtness and sweet way of showing me you care. I don’t _need_ that other stuff…I just need you. I love _you_ Levi.” 

Your voice had lost its intensity as you screamed, and by the end, your confession was just a whisper. 

A rare sight, Levi softened his furrowed brows, and held his arms out to you. God he had fucked up. He really had. You slowly walked into his arms, your chest finally free from the pain that you had grown used by now. As he held you tight in his arms, he whispered to you how sorry he was, how much he loved you, and how he would spend the rest of his days making up to you the pain he had caused. You held him just as tightly back, telling him you loved him as well, and how stupid he was for ever doubting you. Neither of you expected to feel this way.


	21. Next To You

**Next to You –** fluff, Levi POV

The first thing he of when he opened his eyes was how well rested and peaceful, he was. In that moment, there was absolutely nothing wrong with the world. There were no titans, no traitors, no political bullshit. Just bliss. 

This amount of calm was something he rarely got to experience before meeting you. You, still asleep, laying on his arm, breathes coming out evenly. He turned on his side, adjusting his own position but keeping you where you were on his arm. He would give anything to lay beside you for the rest of the day. But alas, he was a captain after all, and had many duties to attend to. But for just this once…maybe just once, he could be a little late. 

Laying his head back down against the pillow, he pressed his nose brushed against your hair and closed his eyes, trying to commit your scent to memory. He realized he sniffed too hard, when his nose tickled, and stifled a sneeze, which jostled your head that was still on his arm. 

He looked down at you, wincing as you opened your beautiful eyes and looked into his. Immediately, your eyes softened, and you smiled at him. After reaching your arms and legs out as far as they’ll go, stretching out from a glorious night of sleep, you turned back towards him and enveloped him into a tight hug. He swore his heart could burst. You had enough love to give for the both of you, and _goddamit_ was he a lucky bastard to have captured your heart. 

Pressing a kiss against your hair, and letting himself get koala hugged by you, he decided Erwin could deal with him being a little more than late to that stupid meeting. He had the love of his life in his arms, lying next to him. And he wouldn’t give that up for anything.


	22. Poopyhead

**Poopyhead** \- fluff

You heard the pitter patter of his feet before you saw him, and you ran the back of your hand across your forehead. It was a busy day today, and Axel had been desperate to go out and play with the neighbourhood kids. As much as you loved your boy, you couldn’t tear yourself away from your work. Erwin was coming over for dinner to discuss upcoming plans, and you still had your portion of the research to finish up, along with making enough food to feed everyone. As you felt little hands tug at your shirt, you smiled, putting down your pen and patting the boy on the head. He was a carbon copy of his father, just with your eyes, and your heart clenched at his hopeful look. “Mama can I go play?” 

“I’m sorry baby, Mama and Papa are very busy today. We don’t have time to go with you. Another time okay? Tomorrow. Mama promises tomorrow we will go and play. How’s that?” you bargained, trying to win him over. 

“I can go by myself!” your boy insisted, hands at his hips. “I’m a big boy! Papa says so!” 

“Axel.” Your voice was stern, “You are not allowed to go outside and play without either me or papa with you. You know that. Why don’t you go work on those math problems papa wrote for you and later you can help me with dinner. Uncle Erwin is coming.” 

Your boy’s face lit up. “Uncle Erwin?” 

You ruffled his hair as you sent him off with a pat on his bottom. “Yes sweetie, uncle Erwin. Go work on those problems, I’ll be by in a bit okay?” 

“Okay mama!” he chirped, skipping out the room. 

You sighed, getting back to your work. How Levi always managed to work in peace was beyond you. Somehow, his son inherited his obsession with you and rarely bothered him during his work, preferring to follow you around instead. You got into a rhythm, pen scratching against paper. When you looked up again, it was getting harder to see in the light of the setting sun. As you struck a match, you realized it was getting close to dinnertime. Standing up and stretching, you decided to check on Axel and give him a snack before getting him to help you with dinner. You strode out the office door, and pushed open the door to his playroom, blinking in surprise at the empty room. On his table was a half-finished page of math questions and his crayon. Heart beginning to hammer in your chest, you called out. “Axel?” 

No response. 

Your breath picking up, you gathered your wits, looking behind curtains, under tables, and behind doors. “Axel honey come out! Snack time!” you shouted, desperate to see the bouncy five-year-old appear. Your panic roused Levi, who peeked his head out from his office. “Y/N?” his voice full of worry at your distraught appearance. “What’s wrong?” 

“Levi. Axel is gone.” 

You had never seen Levi move so fast without his gear. Grabbing you by the shoulders, he threw a cardigan over your shoulder before jumping into action. “Have you checked the house?” 

“I did Levi, he’s not here.” 

“Alright. You look around and check with the neighbours while I go into town. Don’t worry, we’ll find him. He’s an Ackerman after all.”

As you nodded, your hands pulled the cardigan around yourself, trembling. _Where could he have gone?_

You raced through your front yard, eyes wild as you called for Axel over and over again. The neighbours were quickly roused by the noise. Soon, everyone nearby was looking for your boy, the sight of a distraught mother calling her son’s name was enough to make anyone feel uneasy. When George and Lucas popped their heads out of their house, their mother’s eyes caught yours. “Have you seen Axel?” you asked, desperate for the woman to say yes and reveal your son standing behind her. When she shook her head, your stomach dropped. _Where could he have gone?_

You quieted your beating heart, bending down to talk to George, the oldest of the bunch. “George did Axel come play with you today?” The boy nodded. “He came by for a little bit, but then he went home. He said he had to help with dinner. 

Thanking the boy and accepting a gentle arm around you as his mother apologized for not being able to help, you walked towards the stream, praying that you wouldn’t see his little blue overalls anywhere near the water. 

Just then, you heard shouts in the distance. Wiping your tears, you looked towards the sound, finding your husband racing towards you on a horse, Axel in his arms. You burst into tears at the sight of your boy, collapsing onto your knees as you held him close, Levi enveloping both of you in his arms.

“Axel where did you go!” you scolded, tears still flowing down your face. 

“I went to find Uncle Erwin! You and papa are busy. It’s because of Uncle Erwin. I was going to go and tell him he was a poopyhead!” Your son confessed, head hanging. Hugging him close, you pressed a kiss to his head. “Never do that again Axel. You could have gotten lost or fallen. Never do that again you hear me?” 

“Yes mama” your boy mumbled, sniffling as he wiped his own tears. 

You hugged him close the whole way home, leaving Levi to alert the neighbours that all was well again. That night, when Erwin came by, your son did indeed tell the man he was a poopyhead, and the shocked look on his face as a miniature version of Levi scolded him was almost enough to make you forget the stress of the day. _Almost._


	23. Pumpkin

**Pumpkin - FLUFFY AF, pregnant reader, modern AU**

You stepped into the cabin, breathing in the smell of the sturdy wooden frames mixed with the scent of a genuine wood burning fireplace. The space was immaculate, having received a 5-star rating for cleanliness. Erwin had picked the place, handing you the driving directions and cabin keys only a day before. He insisted you and Levi take time off work, refusing to take no for an answer as he all but kicked you both out of your offices. A wave and wink was all you got as he locked his own door behind him, knowing blue eyes sparkling as he took a seat in his leather chair once again. 

Truth be told, you and Levi didn’t want to take a vacation, neither did you need to. You loved your job, being able to work alongside your husband was, in your eyes, the definition of a dream come true. The only thing that was missing from your lives was a…

“Baby!” Levi came up behind you, scolding you as he took in the amount of luggage you carried into the cabin. “We can make more than one trip!” 

Your eyes twinkled as they met his, challenge in your voice as you replied. “Two trips? Never!” 

You braced for the flick that he gave you on your forehead, grumbling as you rubbed the sore spot, hauling items up into the spacious bedroom. Within the hour, you and Levi had unpacked, the fridge now nicely stocked with herbs, spices, and other pantry essentials. Your clothes were all unpacked, folded neatly in drawers while Levi’s items hung in the closet. 

By the time night fell, the darkness found you and Levi curled up on the couch together as he rubbed your feet, you alternating between soft sighs of contentment and sips of your tea. It really was relaxing, the way the fire crackled and popped, the way the embers glowed and the way the smell of fragrant dried pine needles permeated the area, making it feel unquestionably fall.

You and Levi had been talking, the timing seemed right to try for a baby. Everywhere you looked lately, babies seemed make an appearance. Your neighbours pushed a stroller with a babbling baby inside, while your secretary at work finally took maternity leave, Petra’s bump having gotten so big she didn’t even fit in her desk any longer. You even got random ads for baby items, the internet cookies seeming to read your mind. 

None of it seemed real, the idea of having a bouncy baby of your own. Would they look like Levi? Or you? Whose nose? Whose hair colour? Whose temper? You shuddered a little at the prospect of the child inheriting your temper, your movement pulling you from your reverie as you shivered again. The fire had all but gone out, the wood now charred black, the remaining embers glowing desperately, clinging to life. With some water, Levi put it out of its misery, closing the double gates to the fireplace before walking over to you, picking you up as he carried you up to the bedroom with a soft kiss to your forehead. That night, as you lay in his arms, you fell asleep comforted by the new sounds that surrounded you, lulled into a restful sleep by the familiar body holding you close. 

That morning you woke, the smell of pancakes and bacon in the air. You barely had time to call down a good morning to your husband before a wave of nausea hit you. Your hand covering your mouth, you ran for the toilet, grabbing the bowl as you wretched, silently thanking the fates for granting you Levi as the bowl was scrubbed within an inch of its life, not a speck of dirt or grime to be found. When your stomach finally stopped churning, your morning confusion was also wearing off. Your eyes blinked as the gears in your head turned. You counted the days, flushing the toilet and washing out your mouth as you ran for your phone to check the date. _Oh god._

You knew. You just knew. Your hand rubbed against your belly, tears in your eyes as you called down to Levi. 

“Come eat! Breakfast is ready.” He replied to your call of his name. 

You wanted to tell him but wanted to be sure. So during breakfast, you sat quietly, chewing thoughtfully on slices of perfectly cooked bacon as you doused your pancakes with syrup, eliciting a nose wrinkle from Levi. You made some random excuse about heading back upstairs, leaving him to do the dishes as you rummaged through your toiletries bag. Finding what you needed, you locked yourself in the bathroom. Waiting. 

By the time Levi came up to find you, you knew. Without a doubt. _Double lines._ You still kept it a secret from him, already knowing how you were going to tell him. 

If Levi noticed anything different about the way you were acting, he didn’t mention anything the entire drive to the farm. Your hand slotting easily into his as the guide led you to the pumpkin patch, shears in hand as she pointed animatedly to the rows of ripe pumpkins you could choose from. 

You and Levi took your time, combing through the rows as you both looked for the perfect candidate. He found his first, carrying the perfectly symmetrical and beautifully shaped pumpkin under his arm as he followed you, nodding earnestly as you commented on the pumpkins you passed on.

“That one’s too pointy…too irregularly shaped…sides not flat enough” 

When you finally settled on your perfect pumpkin, Levi took that under his arms as well, a jerk of his head towards the exit. 

“We got what we came for, let’s go.” 

Your mischievous smile made him frown ever so slightly as you cocked a hip, staying exactly where you were. “No…” you said, teasing tone to your voice. “What did we say we would come here to do Levi?” 

“What are you talking about? You said one pumpkin per person, then we would go home.” Levi’s confusion was evident by now, no doubt fueled by the extra strain of having to hold both the pumpkins. 

“We need to get a third one.” 

Levi just blinked, gorgeous grey eyes looking into yours as his mouth fell open, his chest starting to heave. 

“What did you say?” he asked, voice a little shaky. 

“I said, Levi, we need to get a third pumpkin. One for each person.” 

His eyes flicked to your stomach at the same time his arms let go of the pumpkins. You winced as they hit the ground, but was soon enveloped in a hug, gentle hands coming up to cup your cheeks as he pressed your foreheads together. You were shocked to find tears streaming down his face as he kissed you over and over again, ignoring your giggling protests. 

“When did you find out!” he asked, still incredulous as his hands finally left your cheeks, fingertips resting against your stomach. 

“This morning” you replied, smile never leaving your face as you watched Levi kneel, not caring that he was in the middle of a field of dirt, pressing soft kisses against your covered belly, tears darkening the fabric of your shirt. 

You couldn’t believe your usually stoic and quiet husband would be brought to tears at the prospect of a child, but you weren’t complaining. 

That night, the two of you, three pumpkins in tow, visited the drug store at Levi’s insistence. Three positive tests lined the bathroom counter as he once again held you, tears in his eyes as he kissed you over and over and over again, the rest of the night was spent with you leaning against the headboard, Levi between your legs as you carded your fingers through his hair, a look of pure love on his face as Levi murmured to your belly. Already talking to his child.

The only person who wasn’t pleased was Erwin. As you put in your notice of maternity leave with him, he groaned, a hand clapped over his eyes as he finished looking through the time Levi requested off to be by your side the first couple of months after the baby’s due date. 

“I shouldn’t have sent you two off on that cabin trip.”


	24. Mirrors tw:body insecurity

**Mirrors - tw: body insecurities, hurt/comfort, fluff!**

You looked at yourself in the mirror, bending over as your hands came down to grab at your belly. No matter how you trained, how you worked, how much you ran, you stomach never seemed to be as flat as the other cadets on base. Your thighs seemed to jiggle more than theirs, your thighs chafing as you ran in the summer months. Your skin wasn’t smooth and beautiful like theirs, your stomach, thighs, and backside marked with jagged lines that seemed to have no end. 

Living in the dormitories with the other girls only made your insecurities worse. Everyone was so beautiful. So strong. So capable. Everyone except you it seemed. Where everyone else’s hair was silky and smooth, or bouncy and full, or gorgeously wavy, yours was frizzy, unruly, dull, and messy. Their eyes all beautiful shades of light and dark, while yours seemed to be uninteresting. They could train for hours without breaking a sweat, bloody fists still punching after a change of bandages. Their toned legs could run for miles and miles without tiring, yet yours would wobble after the first couple of kilometers.

That was when you decided it would be for the best if you stopped eating. It started off with you telling your friends to go to the mess hall without you, claiming you would join them later. That worked for a little while, before they started getting suspicious. It took you going with them to the mess hall to convince them there was nothing going on, you munching on salad and drinking tea to keep yourself going in front of your friends. Soon, you couldn’t even stomach the thought of eating salad, wanting to just skip all your meals. The less you ate, the worse you felt. It seemed as though the mirrors were taunting you. Every reflective surface caught your curves. Every time you looked in the mirror, all you could see was excess. All you were was excess. 

Your eyes got more sunken, your dark circles sank in deeper and deeper, but all you saw was you. You couldn’t see the beauty that you longed to see in others. You couldn’t look past yourself. 

Your friends noticed, coming together to try and get you to eat. You would entertain them and take a couple bites, but before long, you simply avoided them, playing a sort of catch and mouse game around the mess hall. That was how Levi got involved. 

He had noticed how your beautiful shiny hair had lost its sheen, how your gorgeous skin started to look dull and flat. Your eyes that used to sparkle were now cold and harsh. Most of all, he noticed how your body was looking, no longer filled out and toned, but now looking gaunt and wiry. When he noticed your friends chasing you around the mess hall, almost forcing you to eat, he knew he had to step in. 

That night, you were called into his office. You trembled with every step, your footing unsure as stars dappled your vision from the lack of food. Your brain was mush, the only thing keeping you going was the coffee and tea you drank with a small spoonful of honey. 

As the door to his office closed behind you, you were shocked when Levi started to strip off his shirt, grey eyes looking into yours the whole time. As his shirt came off, it was hung loosely against his body, and he turned, showing you his back. You gasped as your eyes focused on the bruises, deep and a dark angry purple against his skin. White raised marks were littered across his body, some raised, some barely visible. 

“Do you find it ugly?” he spoke, his back still towards you. “Do you wish I didn’t look like this?” 

You were quick to reply, a “No sir!” falling from your lips before you could think. 

Levi shrugged his shirt back on, fastening a couple buttons for modesty sake as he sat you down by his desk. His eyes were stern now as they looked into yours. 

“Y/N, you’re not eating. Tell my why.” 

You spluttered, not sure where to start. Your brain rattled off some things. You mentioned your stretch marks, how your body wasn’t as toned as everyone else’s, and how you felt inadequate compared to everyone else on base.

A finger on your chin made you look up at him, and you could see concern and honesty in his eyes as he spoke. He told you how your stretch marks are a sign of your skin growing, like rings on a tree. He said how they were your stripes, making you as dangerous as the deadly animals that roamed beyond the walls. He spoke to you about your body, how it was built perfectly for what you needed it to do. He assured you of your strength, never doubting your ability to contribute to the team. He ran a hand down your back, repeating the same two words after every sentence he whispered. “You’re beautiful.” 

Starting that evening, you leaned on Levi for help getting back on track. Helping you keep a schedule helped him keep a schedule. Your tea time, snack time, and meal times planned perfectly in order. You ate dutifully under his watchful eye, never hesitating to tell you how beautiful you are whenever you looked to be hesitant to swallow your bite. In return, you kept him from losing track of time, preventing him from getting lost in training and paperwork. 

Today was another one of those days. It was time for your midnight snack, and as Levi set down two steaming cups of tea, you popped a bite of the pastry he swiped from the kitchen, licking the stickiness off your fingers with a smack. Anyone else, and Levi would have chewed them out for being disgusting. But with you, he was only proud. 

He stood you in front of the mirror he had set up in the room, and you looked into it, a genuine small on your face as you looked at yourself. Where you used to see only excess, now you saw strength and determination. Where you used to see rolls of uselessness, you saw capability and drive. Where you used to see ugliness, you only saw beauty. You smiled at your reflection in the mirror, letting go, for the first time, of the ugly thoughts that swirled in your head as you ran a hand down your body, admiring it for all its done for you, and all that it can do.


	25. Snow

**Snow**

It was Christmas eve and the whole base was buzzing with excitement. The holidays were a time to celebrate, let loose, and for once, enjoy life surrounded by those you love. For you, today was a special one. You had kept Levi’s gift a secret for months now. Ever since you stepped foot into that tiny little shop, you knew what you were getting him. 

Beautiful ceramics lined the shelves and display cases, ornate teacups and saucers painted with beautiful colours and depictions of a world not so different than the one you lived in. As you browsed the shop, your footsteps had stalled once you saw this one particular tea set, designed by an artist who had hailed from the Underground. It was perfect. You had made the order and requested it to be picked up on Christmas eve. You knew how good your boyfriend was at finding your haphazardly hidden birthday surprises, and this year, you didn’t take any chances.

Wrapping a scarf around yourself and bundling up for the trek into town, Levi cast a worried look your direction. “Looks like snow, hurry back okay? I can’t believe Erwin would make you run this stupid errand. Can’t anyone else go into town?” he fussed, helping you put some mittens on. 

“Relax Levi, I’ll be back in no time!” you smiled broadly, giving an unconvinced Levi a small kiss on the cheek. 

You had gotten Hanji and Erwin to cover for you, managing to convince the usually uncooperative Erwin to lie to Levi, saying you had a special errand to run for him in town. As you stepped out into the chilly air, you looked up at the sky, begging the heavy clouds to hold off on snow, just for a little while. 

By the time you made it into town, tiny snowflakes were lazily dancing in the sky, barely existing before melting on the ground. You bundled your newly acquired package to your horse, happily doing a little victory dance. You had checked the package to make sure everything was intact, and god, did the set look perfect. You knew Levi would love it. 

The town was surprisingly busy, and of course, you were stopped often by the townspeople who gave you little trinkets, wishing you well. You had always been popular with the townsfolk, always eager to lend a helping hand. As you chatted with the third elderly lady that stopped you on your journey back, you couldn’t help but glance at the sky. Big, fat snowflakes were now coming down, harder than earlier. The wind had also picked up, driving the snow into a frenzy, making it harder and harder to see in front of you. You politely excused yourself as worry crept into your heart. It wasn’t too long of a ride back into town, but with the impending blizzard, you just hoped your horse would be able to find its way back onto base. 

Just as you reached the edge of town, you noticed a small figure huddled by the gates. At first, you thought it was Mikasa, and your heart lurched. The figure was clad in a shawl, a small red scarf wrapped around their neck, shivering as they looked up at you with bright blue eyes. You couldn’t just leave this child out in the cold, and as much as you knew you were going to get an earful from Levi when you got back to base, you picked up the trembling child and helped them onto your horse, snuggling the child against your body, your jacket wrapped around the both of you. 

As you urged your horse towards the town once more, you shouted out into the cold, barely able to see. Thankfully, a voice soon shouted back, the wailing sounds of a mother, worried sick. “Jack!” her voice was picked up by the howling winds, “Jack! Honey where are you!” 

You felt the child in your arms perk up at the sound of their name. You shouted back into the cold, and slowly but surely, you were able to find the woman. She was shivering, tears frozen on her face. Nearly collapsing in relief, you smiled, handing the child to his mother. She nearly broke your ribs with her bone crushing hug, thanking you over and over, her shouts of “Thank you so much miss!” carrying in the wind even as you rode brisky away towards home. 

As the love in your heart warmed your body, you had to admit, it was fucking cold out. Careful to not rush your horse for fear of him losing his footing, you trudged on, knowing base couldn’t be too far off. 

~

Back on base, Levi was worried sick. He had seen the snow start to fall, and kept one eye on the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of you on your horse coming through the gates. 

When the snowflakes started falling faster, he had paced around your shared room. 

By the time the snow was falling sideways, he had nearly strangled Hanji to get the story of your whereabouts. 

When he couldn’t see the trees that lined the narrow path on base, Levi set out by himself to find you, ignoring the fact that Erwin was putting together a search party for you as well, the commander feeling guilty having lied to his longtime friend as to your whereabouts. 

Erwin had figured you had gotten home ages ago, and kept his distance, giving you and Levi privacy. When a frazzled Hanji burst through his doors croaking incoherently about “Storm, Y/N, still out.” He had immediately dropped the act, summoning a furious Levi and telling him the truth – that you had went out to pick up a gift for him. 

As fear made his heart beat faster, Levi wrapped his coat tighter around himself, hoping that he wasn’t too late. 

~

Levi was losing his mind. Erwin had caught up to him, riding ahead and all but yanked the shorter man off his horse, insisting he head back to base. In his haste to find you, he hadn’t bundled up, a coat the only thing he wore. His fingers were bare, and feet clad in casual boots. He paid for his impulsivity; his appendages now numb from the cold. He refused to listen to Erwin and pushed on ahead. He would never forgive himself if he were the reason he lost you. 

It was an hour later when even Erwin returned. The storm was too much and he had no choice but to order everyone to return. 

~

You nearly screamed in relief as your eyes made out the familiar gates of base. You patted your horse on the neck, praising him while your throat burned, half frozen on the inside by the cold. “Good boy Fritz, that’s a really good boy! You saved us both.” When you reached your hand out, you realized you had hallucinated. There was no gate. Just endless white. You willed the tears away, your eyes already half frozen as your eyelashes frosted over. This is it. This is how you died. You scoffed to yourself. _Pretty lame Y/N, dying in a stupid snowstorm._

As you heard the voice of your lover calling your name, you smiled. _Ah, so this was death._

“Oi! Y/N! Is that you? I swear after we get to base I am going to make you pick up every single one of your hairs off the floor with tweezers.”

_Wait a minute. What type of heaven is this?_

Squinting into the distance, you heart nearly leapt out of your chest, a squawk of “Levi!” leaving your burning throat. 

As you rode back towards base together, you felt warmer than you had all day. Levi had found you. 

~

As you staggered towards your shared room, Levi’s body was colder than you had ever felt it. His fingers and toes were stiff and blue, your attempts to kiss his fingertips did little to warm them up. You allowed yourself to be bundled up by Hanji but refused to let go of Levi. He was in bad shape. You at least had thick winter boots and two pairs of wool socks on, your fingers protected by fur lined leather while Levi had nothing. 

By the time both of you collapsed into bed, Levi was nearly glued to you as he hugged you with all his might. You were tucked into his neck, his chin resting on your head. Despite how cold Levi was, he was still trying to warm you up. You tucked his fingers under your arms, trying to warm them up as well as you could as you let him press his icy toes against your legs. 

He was scolding you, teeth clacking as he tried to give you the deadliest stare he could muster. “Don’t you ever do something like that again Y/N. How could you be so careless. I can’t believe you made me come get you. You know how fucking cold I was out there looking for your sorry ass? Erwin will have my hide now that I’m out of commission for the next little while.” He grumbled, appendages burning as they warmed up from your ministrations. 

“I know Levi. I’ll go apologize to Erwin.” You smiled as you let Levi snuggle you even closer. Behind his bravado, you knew he had been worried sick. Hiding behind his complaints of the cold and Erwin’s scolding, you translated his words. ‘ _You know how worried I was? It was so cold out there, what if I had lost you!”_

~

Needless to say, Levi developed a love-hate relationship with the damned tea set you had risked your life to get him. Every time he would bring it out, fingers tracing the patterns adorning the surface, he would cast a glare towards you. And every time he did so, you would just smirk, padding over to give your grumpy lover a kiss before pouncing on him, sticking your cold fingers underneath Levi’s shirt, relishing in his sharp intake of breath as he grumbled about “You and your cold ass fingers”.


	26. Someone You Loved

**Someone You Loved – pure angst**

Levi sat in his chair, fiddling with his cravat as he waited for the clock to strike the evening toll. He remembered how he would hide his smile behind the rim of his cup, eyes following you as you bustled around his room. Muttering under your breath about all the paperwork Erwin had dumped on his desk. 

You were always there for him. Ever since the beginning. You were, other than Erwin perhaps, his oldest and most dear friend. You understood him better than anyone else. Your eyes made him feel a way no one else did. Your touch made his nightmares melt away like no one else. Your smiled warmed him like no one else.

He loved no one else. 

Every time you held him in your arms as he awoke, covered in sweat, he would sigh, letting your touch numb the pain. 

Every time he got injured, he let you fuss over him, bandaging and rebandaging him each day, your fingers dancing over his skin in a way that made him _feel_ for what seemed like the very first time.

Perhaps that’s why it felt like a thousand tiny knives stabbing at him every time you smiled at _him._ Levi knew it was selfish. But he couldn’t help but wish you would look at him the way you looked at the tall brunette before you. His arms were causally set on your shoulders, your back pressed to his chest as he looked out over the top of your head, his height making it easy to direct you to whatever inane thing he was teaching you about. The tall medical man, _Harris_ , was a new member on base, specializing in post trauma repair. His work was immaculate, his stiches disappearing, cuts and gouges like they were never there. Somehow his personality was the same as his work. Attentive, detail oriented, _charming._ His presence made Levi feel like the stitches, his presence disappearing from your mind. 

So Levi just watched, standing by day after day as you smiled up at the man, eyes twinkling with mischief as you slapped a bandaid to Harris’s forehead, “DUM” written on it as you giggled, his exasperated sigh and affectionate ruffle of your hair made the shorter man’s heart feel like it was getting crushed. 

The worst part of it was the way you were oblivious to your effect on him. You still barged into Levi’s office at all hours, not bothering to knock, the only one brave enough to wave aside his threats of bodily harm with a smile. You still brought him tea, his favourite drink somehow tasting more and more bitter as the days passed. Your eyes still looked into his the same way, yet Levi would shiver, missing the warmth that he used to feel around you. The way you used to make him feel. 

Heaving a sigh as he got to his feet, Levi looked at his reflection in the mirror. He was wearing black, his suit accented with maroon, and flashes of gold when the thread caught the light. He held flowers in his hand, one for your wrist, the other for his lapel. 

At the sound of the evening falling, bright ringing of the bell tower outside, the man decided it was time. He made his way to your room, rapping on your door. He dismissed the shiver that ran down his spine when the door opened, to reveal you in a ballgown. Perfectly matched to him. Your gown was maroon, accented with black…flashes of gold when the thread caught the light. Just like him. His perfect other half. 

You smiled up at him, the same charming, disarming, _gorgeous_ smile you always flashed him. Your hair smelled of soft jasmines blooming in the sun, and as you twirled around happily for him Levi almost told you how he felt. Almost. 

You took hold of either side of his jacket, pulling him close to you. His breath caught in his throat as he got close enough to notice the sparkles that dusted the top of your eyelids, close enough to notice your lashes, longer than he’s ever seen them before, framing your eyes making them even more alluring. 

He was close enough to kiss you. But he didn’t.

He breathed shallowly, the whole time you pinned the flower to his lapel. He leaned into your touch while you brushed both hands down his chest, commenting on how handsome he looked. He only hummed in reply, nodding and smiling as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear. You hand caught his as he pulled away, placing his callused and rough hand on your cheek, tender and soft as you looked up at him, thanking him for being your date to the ball. 

Feeling his emotions twist in his heart, Levi let his hand fall from your cheek, only to grip your wrist lightly, reaching for the corsage and wrapping the ribbon in a pretty bow. 

Offering you his hand, heart screaming at him to just _kiss you_ already, he led the way to the ball. 

He stayed by your side the entire night, entertaining the guests, keeping up appearances as a celebrity of the military. He nodded at every “Oh! What a darling couple!” comment others threw at you, noticing the way you would blush and deny it. His heart crumbling with each wave of your hand no. 

When the music for dancing started up, you had dragged him onto the dance floor, your hand nestled in his as you placed his hand on your waist, and yours atop his shoulders. In that moment, Levi pretended you were his. His to hold. His to love. His to come home to. Forever. 

Until he noticed. Your eyes had this wispy look in them, and he wondered if you were thinking the same as him, when he realized. You were looking at _him._ Harris was wrapped up in the arms of another woman from base, twirling her in in a circle as he smiled his thousand-watt smile. Charming. Disarming. Talkative. Everything he was not. Feeling his fantasy crash around him, he let you go. From his arms, from his heart. He loved you. He loved you. _God did he love you._ But he loved you enough to let you make your own choices. As you looked at him in puzzlement, he just shook his head. Telling you he had work to do, and for you to stay and enjoy yourself. 

Levi could kill titans, he could suffer the loss of his only family, his comrades, his friends. But somehow, he couldn’t handle the sight of you falling in love with another man. 

That night, as he woke up drenched in sweat, heart pounding from a nightmare, he didn’t call for you. He didn’t think about you. Because every time he thought of your face, he would see you looking at _him._

So he just turned over, grimacing at the dampness of his shirt. Willing himself to forget about you. Willing himself to forget about you as someone he loved.

_Now the day bleeds  
Into nightfall  
And you’re not here  
To get me through it all  
I let my guard down  
And then you pulled the rug  
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved_


	27. The Mop Job

**The Mop Job** \- fluff, tiny angst (like TINY its almost not even there)

It was Isabel’s fault. When was it not? She had been mopping, and of course, had _thoroughly_ soaked the mop to the point where the floor was covered with a sheen of water. Leave it to Levi to walk down across the threshold, and promptly lose his footing and slip, a soft _crack_ echoing through his body.

Isabel and Farlan had both laughed at his bewildered face, but that subsided when they watched Levi get up, wincing when he put pressure on his ankle. It was a dangerous thing to lose your legs in the underground, and many were familiar with the ailment. 

A quick check of his ankle revealed some swelling, and a dull ache as weight was put on it. Cursing Isabel under his breath, Levi hobbled over to the couch, careful to avoid the puddles as Isabel shrank to hide being Farlan. 

“Big Bro…” 

“Do better next time.” 

~

Turns out, it was a fracture. The dingy doctor’s office had been surprisingly clean, and with Farlan’s help and Izzy’s worrying, they managed to hop, limp, and carry Levi to and from the appointment without too much of an issue. The doctor had made a small splint, telling him to stay off the foot and elevate it when possible. Levi stayed silent most of the journey, only offering a scoff at the advice that he was under no circumstances, to be running around on his ankle for the foreseeable future. 

By now, Isabel had a little red mark on her forehead from the amount of times she had hit it against the floor, apologizing. Levi waved it all aside. She was trying her best after all. 

At least being at home and resting would offer him the time he needed to properly clean his knife. As he wiped meticulously at the already immaculate blade, he thought of all the times he had to use it. The first day he cut someone. The first time he met Farlan. The day Isabel quite literally broke into his life. 

They were the closest thing he could call family. In fact, their relationship ran deeper than blood. He would die for them in a heartbeat, and they for him. With every swipe of his cloth against the blade, Levi resolved to not let his injury hinder their plans. They were going to hit that caravan tomorrow. No matter what. 

~

It was a mistake. He had waved aside all the worry from Farlan, and Izzy’s pout and threat of holding her breath until he changed his mind. But he was committed to the mission. It was too risky not to hit the caravan. They relied on it if they wanted to survive, and no way would Levi let such an opportunity pass without a fight. The moment he launched into the air, hooks digging into nearby buildings, he felt free; light as a bird, injured foot forgotten. But with every swing of his legs to get more momentum, every spin, and every direction change, his foot throbbed. Gritting his teeth, Levi ignored it, pushing on to the agreed upon meeting spot. 

By the time he needed to land, he gritted his teeth. Determined. Determined not to let his family down. Farlan was closing in on the caravan, and Isabel was already at her post. Levi shot out his hooks, and swung forward, bracing for the impact. Pain erupted up his leg, his knee giving out. Levi looked up to see the toppled crates falling right towards him. He had missed his mark. 

Had it not been for Farlan who noticed his wince, he would’ve been trapped, caught, and strung up before the military police. Instead, Levi found himself swung to safety, Farlan giving him a hard stare and a nod before zipping back down to help Isabel take the spoils of their mission.

~

That night, Levi was the one who sat on the couch, wincing once again as Isabel punched him on the arm, her voice raw from her crying. She had been berating him for the better part of an hour, talking about how reckless he was, how he should have told her about how much pain he was in, and how she would never forgive him if he did something like that again. Farlan stood by, arms crossed, eyes staring into Levi’s as he conveyed his own disappointment. Between the two of them, by the end of the night, they got their friend and protector to agree to take it easy and rest at home for the rest of the week. Isabel took the duty very seriously, making shapes out of their rice to mimic animals, cutting stolen apples into little bunnies, and insisting on blowing on every bite of Levi’s food despite his protests that it was his _leg_ that was hurt and not his arms. Not that Isabel ever listened to him. Farlan on the other hand, took it upon himself to take on all of Levi’s previous tasks. He took planning missions extra seriously, and even upped his standards of cleanliness, wiping and re-wiping each knife, dagger, blade, and piece of equipment in the house until they shone.

And that was how Levi managed to get a week off. Sitting at home, resting his leg, puttering around the house, trying to wipe the floors with small swipes of a damp cloth against the floor, one leg of his crutches dragging the cloth around. That was also how Isabel managed to wet herself laughing after Levi swiped a little too hard and sent both the crutch and cloth flying across the room as he hit the floor with a quiet “oof”.


	28. Treading Water

**Treading water –** fluff!

As the threads of your gear shot into the nearby trees, you swapped places in midair with Levi, your movements in sync, perfectly coordinated. The lumbering giant beneath you confused, unable to outmaneuver either of you, let alone both at the same time. As the ugly brute clutched his one steaming eye, you sunk your blade in the other, zipping out of reach from waving hands as a roar echoed in the clearing before Levi delivered the fatal blow, the horrifying scream cut short. 

Before you could catch your breath, you heard the sound of a shrill scream coming from ahead, just beyond the trees. Not waiting for Levi, you zipped towards the sound, determined not to lose a single member of the team. When you reached the treeline, you saw an abnormal, its movements jilted and unpredictable weaving through the grass, closing in on a stranded Armin who was desperately trying to get his one remaining canister of gas to work. You saw red in that moment. You could not let anyone, anything hurt another member of Levi’s squad. Roaring, you engaged your gear, swinging around the last tree, using the force of the swing to propel you forward. You hit the ground hard, ignoring the pain in your ankles and grabbing Armin by the shoulders before running for the trees. You situated the slightly shaken blonde on a tall tree branch and breathed a sigh of relief when some of the others found him, tired smiles breaking out seeing their friend and comrade safe. 

Yelling a “Be back soon!” towards the gathered crowd, you zipped back out, determined to kill just one more of the ugly beasts, missing the way Levi narrowed his eyes at your departure. As you soared through the trees, you didn’t catch on to the shaking until it was too late, the greenery you had your hook on getting ripped up by its roots by the abnormal in its attempts to find you. Cursing, you spun around in the air, looking for a safe escape route and place to land. Your heart pounded as grass was all you could see. You knew you stood no chance against a titan on flat ground without your horse. Suddenly, you saw a patch of blue out of the corner of your eye, and you swung yourself in that direction just as the titan’s hand came down, nearly catching the end of the hook that you had reeled in. 

You flew through the air; the force of the hook being reeled in propelling your forward as you made a deep slice along the nape of the abnormal. Your trajectory was well calculated, killing the titan slowed your fall, but you still hit the water hard, your breath getting knocked out of you by the force of the impact. This was unfortunate because you couldn’t swim. That coupled with the fact that you didn’t get the chance to take a breath meant you were sinking like a stone, and panicking. Not a good combination. You grabbed at the water. You kicked your legs. But nothing helped. Your wet clothes and your gear weighing you down as the sunlight filtering in from the surface faded the deeper you sank. 

Just when you resigned yourself to the fact that you were about to die a watery death, you heard a splash, and saw a figure coming towards you. Your lungs burned, and against your better judgement, you took a breath, water flooding your lungs as you fell limp, sinking even faster. 

~

_You were floating. You were holding Levi’s hand, helping him dust the top shelves of the china cabinet. Customers would be coming in any minute, and the shelf was still, as he said, filthy. Your two kids ran around, getting underfoot. The girl bearing striking grey eyes and your hair, while the boy had your eyes, but was a miniature Levi through and through. You turned when Levi called your name. Only, his lips weren’t moving._

_~_

You coughed, choking as water came pouring out from your mouth. Your lungs burned, your throat was raw, and _oh god my chest hurts._ Levi had to rip your harnesses off you, choosing to leave them behind in the lake as he grabbed you and swam to safety. He had laid you out on the grass, pumping your chest as you lay there, cold, limp, lifeless. He had tilted your head back, acting as your breath, his hands acting as your heart. You kept spluttering, expelling the last of the water. As Levi held you close, you could see his hands trembling. Your throat raw and unable to form words, you just took his hand and placed it on your heart, letting him feel its rhythm. “I really have to teach you to swim, brat.”


	29. What More Could You Ask For?

**What More Could You Ask For** – fluff af

“Why didn’t you ask me to come help you!” Levi scolded as you carried a heaping tray, placing it down on patio table and heaving a sigh. 

“You looked so comfortable sitting there, didn’t want to ruin the moment” you shrugged, wiping your hands on a kitchen towel as you poured a coffee for yourself, stirring in the sugar and cream. Nudging you husband’s shoulder, he looked over at you once more, a small whisper of a smile on his lips. “Tea or coffee babe?” 

“Mmm tea” he mused, watching you pour the amber liquid into his favourite cup. 

You sat, hand in hand basking in the soft glow of the morning sun, admiring the way the morning drewdrops lingered on the rose bushes. Occasionally, you would take an absentminded bite of your eggs, just enjoying the peace and quiet. 

Moments later, the screen door swung open revealing your daughter, eyes wild and mischievous, with your younger son in tow, shyly looking towards you. Smiling, you patted the empty chairs beside you, urging the kids to come and eat breakfast. Whereas Lily was scarfing down her eggs, Axel took his time, thoughtfully chewing his food before washing it down with the orange juice you had poured earlier. 

The sound of cars driving along the nearby road got louder as the day started getting busier, but you and your little family paid it no mind. Breakfast and turned into brunch, and your kids were now in your laps, you of course, had Axel while Lily had clamoured for her father. You were counting butterflies with your boy, working on his counting and colours while poor Lily was trying to figure out what “something green” that her father had spied. 

You never expected this to be your life, and you couldn’t imagine anything better. As you smiled, you looked over to your husband, his eyes twinkling as he once again shook his head. Lily had guessed wrong. 

Gently lifting Axel off your lap, you stood to clear the table, the rest of the day’s activities requiring your attention. Laundry was piling up, and dishes needed washing. Seeing her brother freed, Lily decided she was done spying, and launched herself off Levi’s lap before engaging her brother in an animated game of tag around the yard. Seeing you read for the dishes, Levi took your hand, gesturing for you to sit down instead. “Don’t worry about it, we’ll take care of it later.” 

Feeling the warmth of his love through his touch, you sat down, enjoying the warm summer air as your kid’s delighted shrieks filled the space. What more could you ask for?


	30. Remember - tw:depressive episode

**Remember – modern AU**

**Tags: mild depressive episode, fluff, comforting Levi**

You rolled over in bed, attempting to stretch out your sore back. You winced as your cold fingers and toes brushed against the cold air of your bedroom. It had been nearly two days since you had gotten out of bed. You had been so careful to monitor your mood, journaling, getting lots of sunshine, and keeping in touch with close family and friends. Yet, somehow, the dark raincloud still came down on you like a wave. Silent. Destructive. 

At first you resisted asking for help, the feelings of anxiety coupled with restlessness a bad mixture for your body. By staying in bed, your body tired itself out, worrying and stressing while headaches left your head feeling tender and your mood irritable.

You were barely able to pick up your phone and fire off some emails to your professors, letting them know of your current situation. Thankful, they were all extremely supportive, each sending you lecture recordings and soliciting the class for volunteer note-takers while you were unable to attend class. 

The last person you wanted to bother, and the person you needed the most was Levi. He had just started his first year of medical school and was absolutely swamped. He had lectures daily from early in the morning to late in the evening. Whatever free time he had Levi spent in the lab, trying to learn as much as he could. You knew he would be furious if he found out you were toughing it out on your own, but your anxiety kept whispering in your head those dark, guilty thoughts. He’s going to think you’re a burden. You’re bothering him during a time where he needs to focus. 

You frantically clicked the end call button, Levi’s name blinking off your screen. This was the third time you had dialed his number before immediately ending the call, hoping it had not rung on his end. As you wiggled your toes and flexed your calf muscles, you couldn’t help but feel another wave of guilt wash over you. You were in school. You could afford rent. You came from a loving family. All these things that you had and yet you still felt this way. Wave after wave of self-doubt and hatred built up inside you. How dare you feel this way when other people have it much harder than you do? 

Rolling over again, you buried your face into your pillow, clutching the cool underside and feeling the soft linen of your sheets before you let yourself fall back into an uneasy sleep. 

When you woke again, at first you weren’t sure what roused you. Blinking and rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you were surprised that your mood was slightly lifted. The next thing you noticed was the sunlamp next to your bed, humming softly and emitting a soft soothing light. Then, you noticed a pile of your favourite snacks and drinks spilling out of a grocery bag by the foot of your nightstand. 

Before you could call for him, your door swung open. Levi walked in with a tray, and after seeing you blinking up at him, he gave you a soft smile and walked over, helping you up into a sitting position, fluffing your pillow behind you and handing you a mug of hot chocolate, little half-melted marshmallows bobbing at the top. 

He ruffled your hair and gave you a soft kiss on the forehead before sitting down next to you, squeezing your comforter clad feet. “Hey, I noticed you called me a bunch of times and got worried. Is it a bad day today?” he inquired, thumb rubbing soft circles against your still covered legs. 

Panicking, you waved your free hand in denial, eyes wide and shimmering, tears threatening to fall. “Oh, Levi I’m so sorry. I-I didn’t mean to…I didn’t mean to bother you. Did I disrupt your class?” 

Soft hands lifted your chin and you let your still blurry gaze meet your boyfriend’s piercing grey eyes as he wiped the single tear that made its way down your cheek with the pad of his thumb. You whimpered slightly as he leaned forward again, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, and another to your cheek, and another to your nose…and another to your other cheek before he tucked your face into his chest, just letting you breathe in his scent as he rested his hands against your head.

You basked in his love, his soft hands on you and feeling of his hands rubbing soothing circles into your scalp made you sigh in relief. When your breathing finally settled down a bit, Levi let go, giving you room to make the first move. As you leaned away from him, you managed a smile. It was as if a weight had been lifted from your chest. Looking at your still silent boyfriend, you grabbed one of his hands and smiled. 

“You’re welcome, brat.” Was his reply. “You need to get lots of sun okay Y/N? Remember it’s okay to feel the way you do, remember to breathe, and to call me if you need anything. Remember to celebrate the little things you accomplish okay love?” 

For the next little while, Levi chatted to you about his day. You asked your questions about what he learned that day while the sound of his voice gave you the strength to swing your legs off the bed and lean against your boyfriend. Before you knew it, it was getting late, and a small pile of wrappers had accumulated on top of your dinner plates. Levi had made a simple yet nutritious dinner of vegetables, some rice, and chicken soup, knowing you didn’t have the stomach for anything too heavy. He had watched you eat every bite and offered a soft “Remember to eat.” Before he gave you another kiss on the forehead. 

As you sighed again, this time in content, you felt Levi’s gentle hands gripping your shoulder. “Hey Y/N” he whispered, “You feel up to taking a shower? Let’s get you cleaned off; I know how much better it makes you feel when you’re squeaky clean.” 

Nodding slightly, you straightened one foot, testing out your slightly numb legs as Levi supported your waist. You both made it to the bathroom, and you allowed Levi to peel each layer of your sleep garments off you, folding them neatly by the sink. He kept a hand on you at all times, comforting. Supportive. Strong. 

As the first jet of hot water hit you, you managed to crack a smile. The sun was breaking through the clouds. Your mood only improved as you washed yourself with your favourite shampoo and body wash. By the time your dried off your hair you felt as if the sky had cleared. Your chest no longer felt heavy, your headache was gone, and your aches and pains had been washed away along with those voices inside your head. 

Levi was there as soon as you stepped out of the shower to wrap you up into a warm towel. He had evidently thrown it into the dryer before you finished your shower. You reached up to cup his face in your hands and peppered kisses all over his face, stopping only when he pushed you away, grumbling that you had gotten his shirt all wet. 

Finally relenting, you pulled away from him, a smile still painted across your face as you giggled, watching Levi brush the water drops off his t-shirt. He looked up at you at the sound of your laughter, and scoffed slightly, taking your hand and pressing a kiss to the back of your hand with a whisper of “Also. Remember that I love you.”


	31. You Weren't There

**You Weren’t There -** Angst, hurt/comfort, blood mention

Levi woke in a sweat, his hand already reaching out to feel for your body next to him. To assure him you were there and not like he had dreamed, your remaining arm reaching out to him as you yelled your love for him before the light left your eyes, your small body torn apart by the hideous beasts. His eyes wide opened at what he felt. The bed was cold. You weren’t there. 

Feeling a chill run down his back, Levi got dressed, running down the halls, checking in every room, even the stables. You weren’t there. 

He finally burst into Erwin’s room, finding Hanji and Mike already in there, eyes looking towards him in sympathy. 

“Erwin!” his voice was raw from screaming your name. “Y/N…have you seen her? She…” 

“Levi…” Erwin’s voice was soft as Hanji patted his shoulder, Mike getting off his chair and offering it to Levi as he also pressed a soft hand against the frazzled man. 

“Levi…she’s been missing a week now.” 

“A fucking week?” the man was delirious from lack of sleep. Every time he closed his eyes all he would see is you. The way you pressed a kiss to his cheek away from prying eyes. The way you told him you loved him before riding off with your squad, promising you would come back safe. You weren’t there. 

Every night his friends would gather when they heard his door slam open. Every night they would look at his face, gaunt and lifeless eyes meeting theirs frantically as he once again screamed about your disappearance, as if it had just occurred. Every night they would comfort him, usually having to resort to a light sedative. 

Night after night this occurred. And night after night, you were nowhere to be found. No body, no blood, no sign of where you had disappeared off to. 

It was unheard of for someone to survive that long out there, and the other veterans all tried to explain that to Levi. But the man wouldn’t hear any of it. You were alive. Because if you weren’t why was his heart still beating? He had long admitted to the fact that he could not live without you. So why. Why was he here, suffering alone? You had promised him. And you would never lie.

By the fourteenth night Hanji was consulting with Erwin about putting an IV in him. Levi’s eyes were bloodshot, his sleep useless as he woke up more agitated. He refused to eat anything more than bread, washing it down with water. He didn’t want to eat if you didn’t bring it for him. He didn’t want to even think about tea that wasn’t brewed by you. 

He just didn’t want to think anymore. You weren’t there.

So when the knock echoed through the quiet barracks that night, just when the sky was starting to lighten, everyone thought they were looking at a ghost. Your beautiful hair was matted and tangled, dirty and grime caked on as you. Your uniform was torn, the edges the colour of dirt where your blood splashed against it. Your nails were almost gone, and your bloodied fingers trembled. You were carrying gear, strapped together with cables, barely holding together as you wretched onto the floor of the main hall, your body shutting down after so many days out there. Just as his name fell across your lips, he appeared, on his nightly search for you. His eyes widened as he lost his footing in his rush to you, pulling you close to him as you both fell, you cushioned against his body as he took the impact. 

You were both sobbing, you clinging to him as you whispered how sorry you were, how you had fucked up. Him, silent tears running down his face as he mapped your features with his hands. Ten fingers, two arms, your beautiful eyes, nose, ears, and mouth. He crushed you to him, eyes closing. Not even caring that you were covered in dirt and grime. Finally. You were there. You were there.

It took a lot of coaxing between Hanji and Erwin to get the both of you off the ground. Mike ran to draw a bath while Hanji tended to your wounds. Most of them had healed on their own already, so all they could do was wipe off the dirt and disinfect the area. You had hissed when they assessed your leg. The swelling and heat a telltale sign of a fracture. Levi refused to let go of your hand, clutching it against his chest while Hanji worked. In between Hanji’s medical questions, Erwin asked his own. He wanted to know exactly what happened to you. 

So you told them. The blinded titan was in a rage, arms swinging as it roared its pain. You had managed to dodge its swing and sliced its nape but failed to account for its weight as it fell against a tree. As the titan sizzled away, steam rising, you were dragged down by your hook, no time to release it, which resulted in the tree, and you, crashing to the ground. 

You spent the better of 2 days digging, your fingers bloodied as you clutched your leg, ripping off the material of your sleeve to tie your leg, an attempt to prevent the bones from shifting too much. Many a time, titans tried to pry the tree off you, their teeth and hands snapping dangerously close. But they were all smaller sized, lacking the strength to pull the tree any distance to allow them better access to you. You had laughed, thinking the world still merciful. 

When you crawled your way out from under the tree, you had limped. Always during the night, only a stick to protect you from the other dangers out in the forest. You scavenged for food, berries, leaves, roots. Whatever you could find. When you came across fallen soldiers, you assessed their gear, trying to put together some type of working hook and gas canister to allow you rest in a tree during the day when the titans were roaming. 

And so you made it home. Limping on your swollen leg night after night, refusing to give up. Refusing to die alone out there when you had promised Levi. Tears fell down your cheeks as you finished your explanation. Levi’s eyes were wide in shock, unable to comprehend the sheer will that possessed you to haul yourself home, facing dangers without working gear and a broken leg. He was so thankful you had made it back but was guilted that it was your promise to him that caused you to suffer through all the pain. But you were there. With him. In his arms. 

He held you close as Erwin and Hanji stood speechless at your story, letting Levi lead you to your bath when Mike reported back, breathless in his haste, that it was ready for you. 

The others bid you a soft goodnight as Hanji reminded you to stay off your leg as it healed, Erwin already relaying to Mike your bravery and determination. 

That night, Levi refused to let you go. You were wrapped up in his arms, your leg tucked away from danger as he held you close. He had his head pressed to your chest, listening to the beating of your heart. You breathed in his scent, still trembling in disbelief. It took many hours for the both of you to finally fall into a restful slumber, each having to make sure, beyond a reasonable doubt that the other was indeed, there and alive in their arms. You were there, and so was he.


	32. Your Touch

**Your Touch - pure fluff**

It was another late night, never-ending piles of paper and endless work. It didn’t help that it had been an extra hot day, the heat making it hard to stay focused. Heaving a sigh, Levi put his pen down and closed his eyes, allowing himself a moments rest. Opening his eyes a second later, he could have sworn that the pile of paper on his desk got even taller. Loosening the cravat around his neck as his head started to pound, Levi pushed on. This paperwork needed to be done eventually, and he would be damned if he let it get in the way of another dinner date he had planned with you. 

You had been so understanding, pushing the dinner back one, two, three days now. He was going to finish this paperwork before he let you down again. 

The extra stress and worry of disappointing you made his head pound even more. The sound of blood pumping in his ears was so much a distraction that he didn’t notice you slip into the room. One look at him, and you knew. He was pushing himself too hard again. His eyes were red and tired, the dark circles underneath seemed deeper today than ever before. The way his fingers rubbed at his temples; he must be having a killer headache. 

You strode over, situating yourself behind his chair, kissing his fingers as he looked up at you. “Let me.” 

You ran your fingers through his hair, fingers scratching gently against his scalp as he sighed, picking up his pen again. 

You drew circles with the pads of your fingers, shifting every so often to try and lessen the pain. You brushed your palms up the wrong way of his undercut, making him shiver, shoulders shrugging as he shot you a look. You just hummed, hands moving down from his head to his shoulders. 

You ran your knuckles down his neck, working at the tightness in them as Levi sighed again under your touch. Taking it as a good sign, you continued on to his shoulders, rubbing at them with your hands as you felt his body relax. 

With every touch, Levi felt himself gain the strength to run through more papers. Every time you rubbed out a knot in his shoulders, he felt he could sit another hour. Every brush of your fingers against his hair, he felt like his fatigue would lessen. 

Just then, he felt your hands leave his shoulders and settle in front of his face. He was about to swat your hands away when you pulled him back, leaning his neck against the back of his chair. There was a smile on your face as you regarded him, upside down. And then you leaned in, giving him the softest, sweetest kiss, he’s ever received. 

In that moment, Levi swore he could do another pile of paperwork.


	33. You Never Liked Her

You never liked her.

The way she would interject into your conversations with Levi, bringing up some random encounter she had with him, giggling about ‘that time when…’.

You would wrinkle your nose every time she baked, slightly hurt when she would offer him a muffin that he took so easily.

You never liked her and her perfect nose, her perfect smile, and her perfect eyes. But you put up with her, because Levi liked her. He liked her so much it made you want to vomit. He would brush aside your plans if she suddenly decided she was free for a stroll to the village, leaving you to your own devices as you put away the tea you were going to share with him.

You never told him, but you had seen how her eyes had been drifting to the tall brunette on her squad. You never commented on how much time they spent together, not wanting to upset Levi. But all that was for nought. He had let her go. He was no idiot, and it didn’t take one to notice that she was already halfway out the door of the relationship.

You sat beside him, taking his hand. Just sitting with him in the silence. Wallowing in the pain.

  
You couldn’t tell him. Not now. You had realized too late that your distaste for her was not borne out of concern for him, but out of jealousy. You couldn’t tell him that after all this time, it took him falling in love with someone else to realize that he was the one you wanted. So you just held his hand, resting your head against his shoulder as you told him about your day. Anything to get his mind off what happened, and yours off your thumping heart.

He couldn’t tell you. Not now. Not after what happened. It took realizing that she was already halfway into someone else’s arms to realize she was never the one for him. He realized too late that the reason why he felt uneasy when he kissed her was not due entirely to the affectionate display, but rather the thought of you in his mind. He couldn’t tell you now, not when he just let her go, that he was in love with you. What would you think? So he just held your hand, letting you lean your head on him, listening to you talk. Anything to get his mind off how much he wanted to kiss you. How big of a fool he was.

For a time, everything went back to normal. His ex-girlfriend applied for a transfer to a different base, following her new boyfriend. He fell once again into an easy friendship with you, the days blurring together.

You waited. Acting normal around him while your heart pounded in your chest whenever thoughts of him would float into your mind.

Days passed. Weeks passed. _Months_ passed. Neither of you made a move. Both overthinking. Scared. Neither wanting to risk the friendship you had built over the years.

The day the dam broke could only be described as poetic. A wild clash between fate and cruel coincidence. Your heart dropped to the bottom of your stomach as you walked back to base from tending to the horses. Your hands were slightly damp from the thorough wash you had given them, and you had been too focused on shaking them dry to look ahead. It wasn’t until you heard her voice that your entire body froze in horrible recognition. You looked up, breath shallow and heart hammering against your ribs as you once again took in the gut-wrenching sight of her running her pretty hands down Levi’s arm. He was leaning away from her, but even from where you were you could hear her offer.

“It’ll just be for tonight. What, Levi, a couple months and you don’t love me anymore?”

You saw red, but your body was fueled by green. Jealousy swirled in your belly as you picked up the pace, closing the gap between yourself and Levi. You missed your chance the last time, you were not going to let her take him away from you again.

You wish you could have seen her face, but in that moment, all you were focused on was him. Her hand was wrenched off his arm, and you put your body between them. Your hand met the short hairs of his undercut, the longer fringes tickling the back of your hand as you brought your lips together. Your breath mixed with his, your lips clumsy, inexperienced. As he kissed you back, recovering from the initial shock, you couldn’t help but hear the little voice of jealousy that once again sprung from your heart. _Did he kiss her like this too?_

Several heartbeats later, the two of you pulled apart, lips swollen, eyes unfocused, and you weren’t sure about Levi, but your legs were weak, knees shaking under your uniform. You somehow managed to turn and give the shocked girl a pointed stare, your arm still wrapped around his arm. But it was he who spoke.

“As you can see, I’m spoken for.”


	34. Stressed

ModernAU

To say you were stressed was the understatement of the year. Exam season had crept up on you, and between the 7am lectures and recorded classes, to say you were behind was also the understatement of the year.

You had an exam the next day, and you couldn’t focus. The class was full of high achievers, scholarship students, and upper years. You cursed yourself for selecting the course in the first place as you pressed that 1.75 speed button on the recording playback yet another time.

The professor’s voice droned, sounding just slightly like a mouse as you tried to focus. The anxiety swirled in your stomach, making it impossible to focus. _What if your internet died? What if the exam software doesn’t work?_

You had done practice question after practice question, practice exam after practice exam, yet nothing would quell the churning your stomach made as you had to rewind the lecture back nearly twenty minutes. You hadn’t heard a single word of what your professor was saying.

The door opened to your apartment, and Levi walked in, hanging his coat on the hook as he shrugged off his bag. He took one look at you, one pajama leg high and the other low, your tshirt wrinkled from the amount of times you had clenched your clammy hands in the fabric, your hair half in and half out of your hair-tie, and the frazzled blank look in your eyes and he knew.

He sat you down in your chair, putting on your favourite study soundtrack as he handed you your highlighter and flash cards before walking away, his sweater sleeves pulled just past his forearms as he donned an apron adorned with hearts.

Soon, your eyes got bleary after highlighting what seemed like every word of your notes. Your hand was tired, and your brain was bursting with information you tried desperately to remember. Just when you were about to have another breakdown, you felt gentle hands shaking your shoulders. You looked up to see your boyfriend, now changed into his home clothes, hand outstretched. _It was dinner time_.

He made your favourite, curry with pork katsu, and as you munched, you could feel the slight spicy tinge of the curry tickling your throat. Turns out, food did wonders for calming you down, and as you patted your tummy after the meal, handing your empty plate to Levi, he smiled down at you. He sent you back off to your desk, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head with the promise that he would be there soon.

The whirring of the dishwasher going hinted at his arrival, and soon your ever-attentive boyfriend was indeed right beside you. Taking the highlighter from your hands, he got you to sit back and close your eyes, running through your huge stack of flash cards one by one. Term, definition, what is its significance.

With every definition you got correct, you felt a little bit of control coming back into your life. As the definition of each term flashed in your head as Levi mentioned the word, you felt your anxiety melt slightly, the churning in your stomach settling.

By the time the pile was depleted, you only had a small handful of terms that landed in the ‘not so sure’ pile. Levi helped as he handed you your notes, helping you skim for where you had written in your cute little letters about that term you weren’t sure about.

Before you knew it, everything was accounted for. All the terms memorized. Suddenly you felt a rush of tears coming to your eyes and before either of you knew it, you had jumped from your seat and was gripping Levi hard, rubbing your nose against his cheek. You thanked him for getting you to calm down. You thanked him for dinner, for cleaning up, and helping you from breaking down over an exam where it turned out you had total control over the material.

After recovering from the initial shock of your outburst, he had pressed a soft kiss to your forehead before taking your hand and standing up.

“Come on brat, a good night sleep is just as important as studying hard. Let’s get to bed.”

Needless to say…you got your A.


	35. Hot and Cold

Hot and Cold

Levi rested his hand on your head, ruffling your hair affectionately as he padded away to his room. He was proud of you today, you had kept up with him on the mission, slaying titans left and right, saving many of your squamates in the process. You felt your chest tighten at his action. You had liked him for so long and now you finally had his attention after working so hard in training to be admitted onto his squad. As you gazed at his retreating figure, you felt your heart flipflop in your chest yet again.

It wasn’t even four hours later that Levi was with you again. This time, the mood had completely changed. “Y/N, where is that paperwork? I asked for it hours ago.” Levi’s voice was scathing, no doubt made worse by stress and lack of sleep. “Captain Levi, I am so sorry. Commander Erwin was tied up in a meeting and could not sign off…” You trailed off as Levi smacked his hands on the table and stood up. “Listen, brat. I have a shit ton of work to do, and I don’t need you slowing me down. Forget it. I’ll do it myself.” Levi pushed past you, his shoulders clipping yours causing you to stumble back. What had you done wrong? Why was he like this? 

~

In an attempt to apologize for making Levi work late into the night, you had scavenged the mess hall for simple ingredients in order to make a simple pound cake for the captain. As much as you knew he did not like sweets, you knew how well the cake went with tea, and it was the least you could do. 

Balancing a piping hot tea and the newly baked cake, you timidly knocked on Levi’s door, noticing how the light was almost never off in his room. Not hearing Levi’s voice you let yourself into the room, immediately struck by how cold it was. Levi had left his window open, and the candles were flickering in the light breeze. Setting the tray down, you slid the window closed and looked around the room and finally saw Levi sitting in his chair, head slumped to the side and arms still crossed. The only thing that was missing was his signature scowl. In sleep, his face was calm, at peace. Something you wished to see more often. 

You took a blanket off the captain’s bed, and gently laid it over Levi. Apparently you weren’t as gentle as you thought you were, as the moment you straightened back up, your eyes met steely grey ones. Stepping back, you stumbled over your words. “C-captain. I’m so sorry to have bothered you. I noticed your light on and brought you some tea and cake. Sorry I woke you up.” You turned, scurrying away in an attempt to quell the pounding of your heart in your chest. Suddently, cold slender fingers wrappe around your wrist. “Oi. Y/N. Why are you running? Sit with me while I have some tea. I want your opinion on something." 

Hm. It seems as though Levi was over his bad mood. Hesitating, you settled yourself into a nearby chair. Levi padded over with some files, and leaned over your seated form. You two chatted about strategy for nearly the length of a full candle before the tea and cake were finished and you excused yourself back to bed. Before you could close the door to Levi’s quarters, you were grabbed lightly by the waist and spun around. A squeal left your lips and was cut short by the impact of your back against the wall. Levi had cornered you.

Leaning in, Levi’s nose nearly touched yours as he invaded your space. His hands were on either side of you, effectively trapping you and forcing your eyes to look into his. "Listen brat. Thanks for the tea and your help. I’ll see you tomorrow at training.” With every word you could feel Levi’s breath tickling your nose. You gulped and couldn’t help but drop your eyes to his lips as you licked our own. He was so close. So close that if you just…As suddenly as Levi cornered you, he pulled away. 

Gasping at the sudden loss of his presence, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding while you looked to Levi, confusion and desperation swirling in your eyes. “Tch. Get out of here.”“Levi…” You stepped forward, your hands reaching out to touch his cheeks. You wanted this. What you did not expect was for Levi to throw you a look of utter disgust. His eyes narrowing at your outstretched hand. “What do you think you’re doing. I told you to get out of here.” Levi nearly spat the words at you. “Don’t think youre something special just because I asked for your opinion once.” With another “Tch”, Levi turned on his heels and walked away from you, seemingly oblivious to your heart shattering into a million pieces. 

~

The next day, Levi confused you some more. One second he would be close to you, helping you tighten your gear, and the next he would be scowling towards you and making you run laps just for fumbling with a flare during practice. Back at base off the training ground, things weren’t any better. Levi would ask you for advice for something, and when you followed up on it later, he would completely blow you off.

As you collapsed into bed after another day of Levi’s mood swings, you bit down a frustrated scream into your pillow as you felt your heart shatter more and more. What was his problem? Why was he like this. 

Deciding to go and confront Levi over his behaviour, you stopped off at the mess hall for a peace offering - a mug of tea - before you went to Levi’s office. 

After hearing Levi answer with a brisk “Enter”, you walked in. 

“Ah, it’s you again. You can leave the tea here. I have a strategy report to finish up.” he mumbled. 

“Captain.” Your voice was wavering a little, but strong nonetheless. “Have I done something wrong?” 

“Wrong?” Levi repeated back, tone cold and clipped. 

“Captain. With all due respect. Why are you treating me this way? You ask me for advice then blow me off. You treat me well one second and the next it’s like a don’t even exist. You wouldn’t treat anyone else like this. Why me?” By now you couldn’t help the tears from streaming down your face. All the hurt you had bottled up had finally reached the breaking point. 

A rough hand around your waist stopped your tears. You looked up in shock as Levi took a step towards you. 

“You really don’t know?” Levi was so close to you again, his voice husky. “You’re telling me you really don’t know?” 

Blinking up at him, you managed to squeak, “No Levi. I don’t know.” 

Without another word, Levi pulled you flush against him as he crashed his lips down on yours. He swallowed your surprised mewl and subsequent moan as he ravaged your mouth with his. 

“I like you brat. I like you so much it scares me. I tried to make it go away, I tried to make you hate me. But you’re nearly as stubborn as that brat Eren. Wormed your way into my heart and wouldn’t let go.” Levi breathed this confession against you as he pulled you close again for another kiss. 

Your chest nearly exploded as you kissed him back this time, with just as much fervour. Finally breaking apart, you playfully punched the captain before whispering, “You were such a jerk Levi. You’re lucky I like you so much.”


	36. About Damn Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The vets act as ScoutWingmen because you and Levi were taking too long.

You hummed happily, a wide goofy grin on your face as you held two shirts in front of your body. They were, essentially identical in every way. But since Erwin had asked you to accompany him and Levi on a quick errand into town, you had been trying to work off the giddy energy for hours.

You and Levi had been dancing around each other for months now. Your hairs stood on end whenever he would enter a room, and your breath would catch every time his fingers brushed against yours. You were pretty sure the thoughtful captain felt some sort of emotion towards you but could never quite tell for sure.

Finally deciding on a shirt, you put the other one away, and moved on to the process of finding some cute pants.

~

Levi was faring no better, but for a multitude of reasons. He was wearing his normal white shirt and black pants, dressed down for comfort without the straps of his gear. It was some stroll around town to run a couple errands, nothing special.

That is, until Erwin walked in, knowing eyes and devilish grin on his face as he mused.

“Oh? Maybe bring a jacket, Y/N might get cold.”

The taller blonde man almost laughed out loud when Levi had jumped up from his desk, eyes wide.

“Y/N is going? Damn it Erwin.”

“I asked her to accompany us. If you prefer not to have her come, I can inform her the plans have changed?”

“No!”

“No?”

“I said what I said eyebrows.”

“Okay then…I’ll see you in a bit.”

Levi just glared in reply, rifling through his neatly organized closet for something…just _slightly_ fancier as Erwin turned to hide his smile, stepping out of the room, door clicking shut behind him.

~

You were mortified. You should’ve known the breeze would pick up in the afternoon, but you were too worried about making sure you looked cute - but not too cute as to look like you’re trying too hard – to think about a jacket. So, that is how you found yourself wrapped up in Levi’s coat. The sleeves hanging off your shoulders as you had simply draped the garment over yourself. You couldn’t help the blush that came over your cheeks as with every step you took, you would get a whiff of his smell, spicy cologne mixed with whatever scent it was that was just _so_ quintessentially Levi.

You had been waiting at the entrance to base, determined not to be late. When Levi and Erwin arrived, you had a coughing fit, your saliva caught in your throat as you took in the sight of Levi in a gorgeous sweater you had never seen him wearing before. It was the perfect forest green that matched the uniforms of the Survey Corps, and the perfect size for Levi, the way the fabric hugged his biceps should have been illegal. He carried his jacket slung over his arm, and you were puzzled at first, the weather mild enough not to require both a sweater _and_ jacket. It wasn’t until you started shivering that you realized, perhaps, just perhaps, he had brought it just for you.

~

Never catching a break, you wished the floor would swallow you up. Levi was not faring better, angry eyes flashing at Mike even as he tried to hide what looked like a tiny blush that was spreading to the tips of his ears.

You had returned the jacket he lent you a couple days ago, having slept with it for a couple nights as his scent washed over you. Eventually, you had to let it go, washing it reluctantly.

The meeting had gone well, and all the other squad leaders had filed out. All except Erwin, Hanji, and Mike.

Of course, it was the bloodhound who brought it up, nose wrinkling as he tried to discern the scents in the air.

“Levi you seem to be wearing that cologne more often these days.”

Erwin chimed in, smirk on his face again.

“Oh, come to think of it, I noticed it as well Levi. It must’ve been just after when Y/N mentioned she liked it when we went out to the village the other day.”

You tried to say something, but a squeak was all that could come out. Your heart hammering in your chest, you managed to stumble over to where you had placed his jacket before the meeting and snatch it up before shoving it into Levi’s hands and running from the room. You didn’t meet anyone’s eyes, your face too red to hide the truth anymore.

A couple days later, Mike sniffed as Levi walked by him,

“Oh? You haven’t washed the smell of Y/N out of that sweater yet.” 

~

The final straw was Hanji. Somehow the squad leaders had gotten themselves into a truth or dare drinking game. Most of the other squad leaders were passed out, snores echoing throughout the mess hall.

Your body buzzed, just intoxicated enough to let go of your inhibitions slightly, but not so much that your head would pound the next day.

That is, until Levi chose truth, and Hanji had cackled, a finger pointed directly at your chest as she asked the question.

“Levi do you like Y/N?”

It was as if someone dumped a pail of ice water on you. Instantly sobering up, you shot to your feet, waving your hands in denial.

“Ah! Hanji! Please don’t put Captain Levi in such a spot!”

“Nope!” they cried, the emphasis on the p coming out like a pop that echoed.

You could only sit and wait. Sit and wait and _hope._

“Tch. Shitty question.” Levi said, taking another swig of his ale. “I don’t like Y/N.” Another pause as he took another swig had your heart cracking slightly in your chest at his words.

_“I don’t like Y/N. Because I love her.”_

_~_

3 days later, in Erwin’s office, the other veterans were gathered. Mike was smiling as Hanji jumped, their arms pumping in the air as Erwin pressed a hand to the bridge of his nose. They had _just_ witnessed you and Levi walking down the hall before entering his office together, your fingers interlocking before the door slammed shut.

“It was about damn time.”


	37. Zoom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Modern AU set in dreaded 2020, ft some of the 104 kiddos and yet another AU with a cat named Captain :)

Based on [THIS](https://roxi4.tumblr.com/post/632267433557868544) post! 

The telltale ping confirmed your connection to the meeting room as your screen lit up with faces, each one of your students smiling and waving as you did the same. It was yet another day of teaching, and another day of online classes for your students – but they loved you as much as you loved them.

You were proud to be known as the friendliest and nicest professor in the faculty. Your office wasn’t always open, but that was because you rarely got to _go_ to your office. You were more often found in the classroom, swarmed with students asking you questions, or taking your mentorship group out to lunch. Those were the before times.

Nowadays, you made up for the loss by hosting wellness talks, chatting with your students in an attempt to give them _some_ type of human connection. You liked it, being able to interact with them outside of the course material.

But today’s class was unfortunately, built on course material. As you talked, you kept an eye out for the chat, questions appearing often as you paused to answer them. Mikasa, one of your favourite students would often answer the odd question about where the material you were mentioning could be found in the textbook on your behalf. You would always smile and thank her, watching her smile shyly in response.

Rattling off another answer to a question another student Armin asked, promising to chat with him further after class ended as the question was very complex (as you expected from your brightest pupil), you were about to get back to your prepared materials when a black cat with green eyes jumped into your lap, front paws on your desk as he looked into the green light on your laptop, entranced.

You picked him up, his body going limp as a noodle as he tried to slide his way out of your grasp. Placing him on the floor and sending him off with a pat on the bum, you straightened back up, smiling sheepishly at your class.

“Sorry everyone. Cat bomb!”

The class smiled back, and the rest of the lecture went on without a hitch.

~

Levi scowled as he waited for his laptop to load Zoom, eyes flitting over to the clock that hung in his office. He was running slightly behind schedule. He had been bombarded with questions in his previous class and was dragged off to a faculty meeting shortly after. It was a minute till his class started, and he had loads of material to get to.

The telltale ping confirmed his connection to the meeting room as his screen stayed dim with all the dark circles on his screen. His students were all too scared to come on camera during lectures. 

He had a reputation in the faculty. Funnily enough in some weird cyclical structure of fate, he was the one that admitted students as the Head of Admissions, as well as the one who let you go, being the Vice Dean. He was notoriously tough, not taking half assed excuses as a reason to skip out on homework or exams. But he was also known to be extremely fair. The dropout and fail-out rates were at their all -time low under his tenure. He would personally attend meetings with the committee assembled to assess performance of students who were on the precipice of academic probation and would sit and hold their hand through all the troubles before working through an action plan. For those who have been there, they thanked their lucky stars for Dean Ackerman, and for those who weren’t, they just hoped he would still be there if their grades ever faltered.

Getting through his class material fairly efficiently, only a couple questions coming up, Levi was about to log off after calls for questions were met with silence. He nodded, reminding the class again of the assignment that was due next class before ending the call.

For a second before the screen turned black, his students were treated to the sight of a black cat, with green eyes lazing across the back of the couch in the background.

~

You giggled as you poured your haggard husband another cup of coffee. He was marking piles of assignments and cursing under his breath. Between mumbles of “I swear I taught this to them!” and cries of “Damn what are you _talking_ about here?!” you watched as his pile of papers dwindled.

With your own cup of coffee, you stepped into the office to start your lecture. As usual, a sea of smiling faces lit up as you entered the room, but this time, many of them were waving at you despite heavy dark circles under their eyes.

You laughed, asking the class, “Assignments got everyone down?” You already knew the answer, but was amused nonetheless.

Groans filled the zoom call as everyone started to complain. The chat dinged with students relaying how busy they were, but the common denominator was Levi.

“Professor Ackerman’s assignment was so difficult!”

“We worked on it super hard, but the word count was the worst!”

“We had another assignment due on the same day!”

A blur of black and green chose this time to hop into your lap again, and your class soon started to coo at the cat instead. You introduced him to all the eager faces before getting class started – a good ten minutes behind schedule.

~

Levi’s next lecture saw him going over the weak and strong points of all the assignments he had finished marking. He had nothing else planned for the lecture after fielding questions from students about how to do better on the next assessment and decided to be merciful and let them go early. As he was reminding the class that guest lecturer would be leading the course next week, asking if anyone had any last questions, he felt a nudge against his leg. Bending down, the man lifted the needy cat onto his lap. There was a moment of silence, and then suddenly a meek voice came onto the call.

“Uh…Dean Ackerman…is that Captain?”

Eyes narrowing, Levi ran his hand down Captain’s silky back, voice full of suspicion, “Yes…Captain is my cat. How do you know him?”

~

The telltale ping confirmed your connection to the meeting room as your screen lit up with faces, but this time, you noticed a number of them had a mischievous grin on their face. You narrowed your own eyes as you spoke into the call.

“Why do you all look like a cat who ate the canary today?”

“We didn’t know you dating Dean Ackerman!” Eren’s voice came from the call, his green eyes bright and desperate. He had complained the most about Levi’s assignment last week. “We realized when we saw Captain in his classes and yours!”

You just smiled, raising your left hand to the camera as jaws hit the floor.

“I’m not just dating him. We’re married!”


	38. If You Love Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by If You Love Her by Forest Blakk

Your feet were pressed against his legs, your body curled up to extract as much warmth as you could from his embrace as you bit your lip, scrolling through your phone. In the comfort of Levi’s apartment, you could truly relax, all your problems melting away as you cuddled comfortably in his arms. A buzz on your phone signaled a text from Erwin, asking about your day. A familiar twinge in your heart had you snuggling your head deeper as your mind was once again overrun with thoughts.

You and Levi had been friends for years, ever since your mother met his at the park one day. You had just moved from the city after your father left and didn’t know too many people in the neighbourhood yet. Eventually, you and Levi became neighbours, your mother getting the two of you out from that dingy basement suite and into the small house next door that Kuchel mentioned was on sale well below market price.

Since that day, hand in hand, the two of you would walk to school, come rain or snow, your little mittened hands clutching onto Levi’s tightly.

That was the first time he asked.

“Be mine.”, his little voice strong as you furrowed your brows in confusion.

“Levi you’re being silly. I’m already your friend.”

The two of you were inseparable all throughout elementary, the teachers commenting on how cute the two of you were, how much calmer you were with Levi around, and how Levi would be much nicer to the other kids in your presence. And that was all you could remember, your childhood a bit of a blur.

By the time high school came around, you no longer hung around each other as much. Levi had his new friends, as did you, and it was no longer appropriate to be holding his hand every chance you got. You would wave at him in the halls as he sat quietly with his group of friends, Hanji and Erwin usually steering the conversation as Farlan and Isabel sat flanking their closest friend. He would wave back, and you would always roll your eyes at the way Farlan would bump shoulders with Levi, teasing him about you.

The good days came to an end along with your high school years. A drunk driver had barrelled through a stop sign, flipping the car Farlan and Isabel were in on their way home from a night of studying. Levi was never really the same after that. He pulled away from everyone, including you. It had taken countless phone calls and texts to get him to reply “im fine” to you. It took countless days of pounding at his door to get him to unlock it to allow you to dump his missed homework and assignments on the kitchen table. When he _did_ come back to school, he wasn’t the Levi you knew anymore. He was dark, brooding. His smile no longer reaching his eyes. He never quite let new people in the same way anymore.

A year later was the second time he asked.

His eyes were hard when he dropped off the flowers at the cemetery, his hand in yours as you paid your respects. His voice was soft when he whispered to you, “Be mine.”

You shook your head, turning him down. You weren’t allowed to date quite yet, and frankly, you weren’t sure you wanted to with college looming on the horizon. You promised to stay friends, and the ache in your heart got worse as he pulled away from you slowly.

You guarded our heart. The pain of seeing your mother raise you as a single parent and the time Levi went through with Farlan and Isabel made you want to pretend feelings don’t exist. You didn’t want to feel. You didn’t want to love. If you didn’t love. You couldn’t hurt. _Right?_

The third time he asked you, it was you who was crying uncontrollably as he held you in his arms. It was just a failed class, but to you, your whole world was crashing down. All your hopes and dreams seemed to be resting on the grade of this one class. All your hopes of getting into your master’s program, all the plans you had of graduating early. And you had somehow failed the one class that really mattered. He held you through your initial panic and the subsequent heartbreak. He held you as he helped you look through the appeals process and encouraged you to sign up for the course the next semester in order to still achieve your goals of graduating early. In the end, the course ended up being a non-existent blip on your radar as you and Levi were accepted into your chosen programs. You both had a year left, and he asked you. “Be mine.”

You shook your head once again, your feelings for him swirling in your heart, yet you were unable to commit. Your program was a whole city away while Levi chose to stay close to home for school. You didn’t want to risk your friendship of all these years to a failed attempt at a long-distance relationship. At least, those were the reasons you told yourself as you pushed him away, still too scared to open your heart.

A year ago, was the last time he asked.

It was your first visit back home and he had looked at you the way a man looks at an oasis in the desert. He had picked you up from the airport, hugging you close as you appeared with your luggage. You had missed him too. Your heart had leapt in your chest when your nose smushed into his chest, inhaling the smell you had missed during your time away. His plea of “Be mine. _Please don’t leave.”_ Had your heart aching as you shook your head. You couldn’t stay. _Not yet._

The rest of that night was spent in quiet musing as you told Levi about Erwin and how the blonde had been so surprised to see you on campus after so many years apart. Levi was quiet as you talked, acceptance in his heart as he realized he was never going to call you his.

~

Tonight, as you cuddled on the couch with Levi, as was your way since childhood, the air was cold, and the end of the summer signalled your return back to campus in the next coming days. You had finally accepted Erwin’s invitation to dinner. The poor man had been asking you nearly every week now for the better part of a year. Something other than your childhood fears and the emotional scars from your absentee father held you back. No, it was something else. Something you couldn’t quite pinpoint, or perhaps you could, and were too scared to admit it.

As the time came for you to head to the airport, you uncurled your legs, stretching out as Levi got out from under the blanket that covered your bodies. He left you to pack up what was left of your things as he padded to his room.

When he bid you farewell, he handed you an envelope, addressed to Erwin. You were puzzled, asking him what it was for as you slipped it into your pocket. But he wouldn’t say. Another hug that lasted a little too short, and a wave as you walked through the security gates, and he was gone.

Oh, how you longed to peek at the letter addressed to Erwin. How you longed to see what words were so important that Levi couldn’t send a text. But you respected his privacy, and resisted the urge, choosing to pick at the edges of the sealed envelope instead as your mind raced as fast as the plane was as it took you away. Far, far away.

You had handed the envelop to Erwin when you met him the next day. He offered to pick you up from the airport, but you declined, opting to take the train home. As the two of you made your way to class, you couldn’t help but wonder if Erwin would let you take a peek.

He didn’t.

That night, you heard a knock on your door and looking out the peephole, your soul nearly shot out of your body when you realized with a start that it was Erwin.

He looked troubled as he waited for your answer and continued to have his brows furrowed and face solemn as he took a seat on your couch and accepted the water you hastily poured him.

When he spoke, his voice was soft yet laced with a bitterness that you somehow recognized.

“Did you read his letter?”

You shook your head as you leaned in closer, “No, I didn’t. Is something the matter?”

“I think you and he need to talk. A _real_ talk. No more running away Y/N.” Erwin said, blue eyes that have never looked more serious gazing into your own.

You felt a chill down your spine when you reached out for the letter Erwin held in his hand, unfolding it as your eyes started to scan the page.

_Erwin,_

_If you love her_

_Take it_

_She gives you her heart, don't you break it_

_Let your arms be a place she feels safe in_

_She's the best thing that you'll ever have_

_She'll love you if you love her, on days when_

_It feels like the whole world might cave in_

_Stand side by side and you'll make it_

_She's the best thing that you'll ever have_

_She'll love you if you love her like that_

_She always has trouble falling asleep_

_And she likes to cuddle, all under the sheets_

_She loves pop songs and dancing, and bad trash TV_

_There's still a few other things_

_She loves love notes and babies and likes giving gifts_

_Has a hard time accepting a good compliment_

_And she loves her whole family and all of her friends_

_So if you're the one she lets in_

_Kiss her with passion as much as you can_

_Run your hands through her hair, whenever she's sad_

_And when she doesn't notice how pretty she is_

_Tell her over and over, so she never forgets_

_She's the best thing that you'll ever have_

_Treat her well for me._

_Levi_

You didn’t realize your tears were falling until black ink started running across the pristine white page. Wordlessly, Erwin pulled you into a hug, his strong embrace somehow making you feel even more lonely.

When you pulled away, his eyes were sad, but his smile was still warm.

“Go to him Y/N,” he prompted, “You belong together.”

~

A week later, you clutched your luggage as you waited in front of Levi’s door. Waiting for the weekend nearly killed you. It had been an awkward several days with Erwin, but the two of you managed to find your place in the world with each other again.

Your knocking must have been incessant, because the door was wrenched open. Levi’s glare on you seared for a second before you watched as the annoyance melted off his face.

“Y/N!”, his eyes were wide as he ushered you in, “What are you doing here? Why didn’t you call me to get you from the airport!”

Seeing him in front of you again you were at your limit, knowing all you knew, knowing how much he cared for you, _how much he loved you._

“You idiot!” you yelled, hot tears streaming down your face. “You idiot! You were going to just let me go?”

Levi just stared, not quite sure what to do with your tears when he was the apparent cause. He wasn’t quite sure what happened still, but if Erwin’s text from earlier in the day was any indication, he would need some good luck.

You kept going. “I can’t believe you would do that to Erwin! To me!”

Levi’s heart leapt even as he grimaced slightly. You had read the letter.

As you sobbed, he felt the rare sliver of anger seep into his being. All those years of waiting for you. All those times he had asked you, you had turned him down time and time again, only to show up at his door when he finally resigned himself to a life without you.

“Do you know how long I’ve waited for you?” his voice wavered slightly. “I knew I loved you since high school, and you turned me down each time. What did you expect? What do you want from me?”

Your tears stopped as you took in his words. How many times has he asked you? How many times did you reject him do to your own stupid little fears?

Your fear was evident when you voiced your question, “Levi, is it too late? Is it too late for me? _For us?”_

Your questions betrayed the worry in your heart. _Had you waited too long?_ You had been so worried about getting hurt by the one you loved, you forgot to consider that he may change his mind about you, that he may fall for someone else.

Levi turned his head, blinking away the tears in his eyes. You were all he wanted. Right?

Perhaps this year had given him much to think about, perhaps this year had changed him. Perhaps he realized he _could_ life without you after chasing after your shadow for so long. Perhaps it was his time to move on.

Perhaps he was kidding himself again.

He bridged the distance between your bodies and took you in his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “It’s never too late when it comes to you.”


	39. Diamonds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mafia!Levi AU - angst/fluff

You heaved a sigh and looked out the window to admire the blurring backdrop of your hometown. It had been many, many years since you left. You spent more time living overseas than at home by now. You supposed it was normal. Your mother died shortly after your birth, and your father hadn’t even let the dirt settle over her grave before he took another wife. As soon as you were able to enroll in school, your father had sent you overseas. Far away from him.

You always figured it was because you were his only daughter that he treated you with such distain, but never got a chance to confront him as he basically scrubbed himself from your life.

Even your return was met with silence. You called him but was greeted by the voice of his quick lipped assistant as usual. She took your message that you were returning home with the same efficiency as one would take down a drink order, informed you that your father would not be calling you back as he was away on business himself, and hung up the phone before you could get another word in edgewise.

That was how you ended up returning home, not a soul to greet you after two decades away, and frankly, you didn’t care. As far as you were concerned, there was no connection between you and the rest of the family at this point.

A couple nights after your return was your first brush with the sinister forces that seemed to run the city. You had just exited the bar when you turned at the sound of boots hitting the pavement, only to find yourself surrounded by a group of men. You gulped, voice coming out soft as the leader sauntered up to you, tipping his hat as he leaned in close, booze on his breath.

“What’s a pretty lil thing like you doin’ out here all alone?”

Your mind racing, you could only think to use your father’s name, hoping he still had some pull in the city.

“I’m waiting for my father. He’s with the Reiss Corporation.”

What you didn’t expect, was for the entire group to reel back, looking to each other with disbelief as you caught whispers of conversation.

“The Boss? The Boss has a daughter? No way.”

Before you could get some type of explanation, you heard the click of more shoes against the pavement.

Your captors breathed out a “shit” under their breath as they straightened up, leaving you rooted to your spot in fear as you looked to the menacing group that just approached, clad in all black, a pin with wings the only source of colour on their clothing.

The man leading the group was short in stature, but he made up for it with an aura so menacing you gulped as he took a step, grey eyes flitting to you for a second as he kept his arms crossed, his jacket draped over his shoulders as he engaged your captors with a bored expression.

“Reiss has gone for a week and you boys are already forgetting where your territory ends?”

“Le-Levi! Let’s not be hasty. We were just out for a bit of fun; we’re barely crossing into Scout territory.” The leader of the group that was only a moment ago accosting you now sounded so meek, looking so small under such a menacing gaze.

“Beat it before I give your boss a reason to come back.” The man you learned to be Levi growled, and within a heartbeat, the men had disappeared, slipping into the shadows from whence they came.

You breathed a sigh of relief, turning to the man to offer him your thanks. Introducing yourself as F/N L/N.

You could see a furrowed brow as Levi regarded you. “You’re not a Reiss?”

Before you could answer, a striking girl that looked similar to Levi leaned in close, mumbling in his ear.

Whatever she told him must have been amusing, because he smiled, the expression not reaching his eyes as he spoke once again. “Oh ho? The secret daughter with her mother’s last name. Interesting.”

His words raised more questions than answers for you. It was infuriating, the way everyone else seemed to know _exactly_ what was going on while you were left in the dark.

With a final look towards you, he turned to walk away, his little entourage following wordlessly. Just before he melted into the shadows, he called out to you, “Watch yourself little lady. You do not know what lurks in the night.”

~

The second time you met him, you swore it must’ve been fate pushing the two of you together. You had peeked into an alley you probably shouldn’t have after hearing some groans, your eyes wide when you realized it was the same striking woman from your first days back, clutching at her ribs while she braced against the wall, crimson slipping through her fingers.

Your heart acted before your brain. With a shout, you ran to her, throwing her arm over your shoulder as you hobbled with her the short distance to your apartment, ignoring the way her blood splattered over your carpets on your way to the bathroom.

Your first aid skills were limited, but thankfully enough to assess the wound. A nasty gash spanned the woman’s ribs, but you suspected it wasn’t the gash that caused the pain. She most likely broke a rib.

“You need a doctor” you said, a wet towel wiping the sweat from the woman’s brow as you finished cleaning the wound with your alcohol wipes.

“No doctors.” The woman bit out; breaths shallow. “Just call the boss.”

Your fingers dug for the phone in the woman’s pocket, and you straightened up from where you were leaning against the tub, fingers pressing the contacts button and lingering on the contact LEVI.

He answered before the first ring even ended.

“What?”

“Um,” you mumbled, unable to form the words to describe your situation.

“Who is this. Where’s Mikasa?” His voice lowered, laced with suspicion.

“Oh! Her name’s Mikasa?” you found your voice at the mention of the injured woman, “She’s at my house. I found her hurt. She…she told me to call you. She needs a doctor.”

“Put her on.”

You handed the phone to the woman on your bathroom floor, and fidgeted with your hands as she spoke, “I’m with the Reiss girl” making you scowl as you were once again associated with your father. After that first line, she spoke very little, curtly voiced “Yes Boss.” falling over and over from her lips before the phone clicked shut.

“He’s coming for me. You stay put for now.” Mikasa said, her voice steadier now as she caught her breath.

The clock on your wall ticked as the time passed, and you sat in silence, her leaning while you sat on the edge of the tub. Even when your door burst open, Levi standing in the doorway, this time clad in a blood red shirt with a black suit jacket on top, you didn’t move from your spot. You watched with bated breath as people entered your house, a green-eyed youngster jumping out to throw Mikasa’s arm over his shoulder before taking her out of your apartment, worry in his eyes.

All too soon, it was just you and Levi in the apartment, you looking up at him from your perch on the porcelain.

“Who are you people?” You whispered, not sure if you wanted to answer.

“The Scouts.” He stated, eyes never leaving yours, as if searching for something. “I lead what I call a highly specialized enterprise. You would call us the Mafia.”

You kept quiet, waiting for him to continue.

“My card. I don’t like to owe a blood debt, even if it is for my lieutenant.”

You blinked, realizing a gloved hand was reaching towards you. You took the crisp white card in your hands, tracing the neat script.

“Levi Ackerman – Professional Cleaning Services”

You flipped the card over, numbers dotting the otherwise pristine paper.

“If you need anything. Call. Just don’t waste my time.”

You were about to ask about a million questions, but looked up to see him gone, your door clicking shut behind him.

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. The Mafia. _The_ mafia. In _your_ city? As hard as it was to believe, it was truly, the only explanation for all the odd happenings you had witnessed. Besides, as far as you could tell, Levi seemed to care about his people, and not out to kill you. _Yet._

Tucking the little card into your purse, you vowed to meet him again someday, your two encounters with the man intriguing you more than you could bear.

~

The first time you called, he had been annoyed, because the only instruction he gave you was not to waste his time. But it was late, and you swore you heard noises outside your apartment. Begrudgingly, he stayed with you on the phone, only after you declined his repeated attempts to send someone to check on you.

The next time you called, it was to ask him how Mikasa was doing. She had taken the phone from Levi, thanking you for taking care of her before giving the phone back. You expected Levi to hang up after the exchange, but the two of you stayed on the phone, you chatting about whatever came to mind as he listened.

Eventually, you started just calling the number, requesting to get picked up. You would meet at the usual corner, standing there with your hands in your pockets. Mikasa would always show up not ten minutes after you placed the call, her eyes warming up slightly each time she saw you, insisting on stepping out to open and close your door despite your countless protests. She would always look at you in the rear-view mirror when you reached _that_ intersection, and you would smile and nod, pulling a blindfold from your pocket and placing it over your eyes. After the first time, when Mikasa showed up with the green-eyed man you learned was Eren and they had thrown a bag over your head, you insisted on bringing your own blindfold thereafter.

  
It was routine now. When you missed Levi, and if he had time, he would never hesitate to send Mikasa to fetch you. You were friends with almost all of his members by now and considered them family.

Even though the headquarters was no place for a civilian, many a time your phone call going unanswered, or catching Eren running away from you with blood-soaked rags, you were never afraid. You saw how Levi treated his subordinates and the way all the other members looked at him with not fear in their eyes, but respect.

For Levi, he knew how dangerous it was to get involved with a woman, let alone a woman like you. He knew who you were, _what_ you were, yet never found it in himself to tell you the truth. At first, he figured you were sent to spy on him, seduce him perhaps. But he quickly realized you truly knew nothing about the dark world he lived in, surrounded by shadows. The more time he spent with you, listening to you talk about whatever happened to be on your mind, or watching you interact with his members the more the mafia boss felt himself go soft. He was supposed to be ruthless. Merciless. All controlling. Yet with you, he felt powerless. You had somehow wormed your way into his heart and claimed a spot in his brain, thoughts of your beautiful face and smile never quite leaving his thoughts.

Nearly a year after you first met him, Levi was rooted deeply in your life. You didn’t care what he did during the day, choosing to ignore the screams that you sometimes heard echo from the basement. You would scrub at the dark red stains that sometimes splattered across Levi’s shirts, watching the water until it ran clear. He had, many times, tried to put distance between the two of you, but you never listened, telling him that him and the Scouts _were_ your family. The first time you lay with him, he had whispered such loving words to you, holding you close as you trembled in his arms. From then on, you rarely stayed at your own apartment anymore. Most of your things were moved to Levi’s and whenever you weren’t at headquarters, bustling around with the others or on Levi’s lap as he read through reports, you could be found cooking up a storm back at his place, inviting all the other members over for dinner many days in the week.

You felt like you found your place. Coming home had originally been a temporary thing, but now, you had someone you loved and a new tightknit group of people who actually cared about you; something you never had as a child.

As with all good things, they come to an end. For you, the good times came to an end when one day you were left alone in the common room, Levi and the other members in an emergency meeting following a phone call. You heard snippets of conversation through the door that lead to Levi’s office, and your ears perked up at your father’s name.

“He’s coming back – tonight – already confirmed- ”

When the heavy door finally opened and the other members marched out, you let yourself in, plopping in the chair Mikasa usually occupied. Levi was sitting at the head of the table, brooding as usual. You were about to ask him about the meeting when your own phone rang.

You looked down at the screen and frowned. Your father was calling.

After being absent from your life for over two decades, he picked this time to call you.

You answered, fully expecting his secretary, so when his voice boomed in your ear, you were taken aback.

“I heard you’re shacked up with an Ackerman.” Your father said, no pleasantries exchanged, “invite the fellow over for dinner tomorrow night. Your old man wants to have a nice little chat with him.”

A click sounded before you could get a word in. He had hung up.

You looked up to catch Levi’s grey eyes.

“Your father?” he asked, something you couldn’t quite place in his voice.

You nodded, “He asked us to dinner tomorrow night. I think he wants to meet you.”

“I’ll be there.” Pushing himself out of his chair, Levi strode over to you, a hand on your shoulder as he passed. “It’s time for you to head home. Your home. I will be by tomorrow.”

He was acting different. Distant. You chalked it up to nervousness at meeting your father and let it be, choosing to ignore the nagging feeling that there was something wrong.

You didn’t hear from Levi the rest of the night, and the radio silence continued into the next day.

A knock on the door, and your father strode in, looking as he did the last time you saw him, just with more white hair. He took a seat at the head of your table, cigarette in his mouth as he looked you up and down, something sinister in his eyes.

A moment later, Levi showed up. You swore you saw a black shadow duck around the corner when you opened the door to let him in but assumed it was just your eyes playing tricks on you.

As soon as Levi stepped into the same room, you felt the air chill as the two men regarded each other.

Your eyes flitting between them as you chuckled nervously. “Father…do you _know_ Levi? Levi what-”

Your father’s laugh cut off your question as he laid a hand on your shoulder, making the skin on the back of your neck stand up. Something was definitely wrong. Very very wrong. Your father calling you after twenty years of silence should have been the red flag. But you ignored it. To your peril.

“I knew my sweet daughter wouldn’t let me down.”

You were frozen as you father spoke, ignoring your presence as he always did as he spoke directly to Levi. Your eyes were on him the entire time shivers shot down your back. Eyes begging him to tell you what was going on. “Levi…what’s going on here?” you managed to squeak out.

Grey eyes looked past you as he spoke. “Your father is the head of the Kings, a rival group.”

You felt his words more than you heard them. Ice crept into your heart as your heart thumped against your chest. Your father…rival group…and _you._ Your father used you to lure Levi here tonight. But why would Levi come…if he knew?

Your father’s voice continued, voicing your deepest fear. “Did you _really_ think he would ever want anything to do with someone like you? Pathetic. All you ever were was a pawn to him. He knew who you were from the day he met you. I guarantee it.”

Your eyes searched Levi’s for any indication of a lie. For as long as you knew him, he has never once lied to you.

“Levi…is that true? You knew…this whole time?”

His barely perceptible sigh gave you all the answers you needed as you felt a sob bubbling from your lips.

You looked between the man who had never paid you an ounce of attention your entire life, and the man who you thought would never hurt you – yet the pain was there and you weren’t sure who hurt you more.

You wanted to disappear, forget about everything that happened during the last year of your life as your heart shattered.

Your father placed a hand on your head, making you look straight at Levi with a jerk of his hand, making you cry out as tears streamed down your cheeks.

“Open your eyes you stupid girl. He used you. You were useful for once in your life. I should’ve whored you out earlier had I known you would be the one to help me bring down the Scouts.”

“Levi, tell me it’s not true!” you yelled as you saw a look of pain across his face at your father’s words.

You father’s voice continued, stirring up the animosity between the doubt in your heart and the fury in Levi’s. “Wishful thinking dear daughter, that a man like him; someone who could have anything, would want anything to do with you. He used you. He took your love and he used you. Used you to get closer to me. He’s been a thorn in my side for years now, growing his organization. And you my dear, helped bring him to me tonight so we can end this. Once and for all.”

Cold fingers brushed your hair from your face as your father bent down to your ear, the smell of cigarettes on his breath as you whispered to you.

“Now do you want to shoot him, or should I?”

You braced yourself as the pain in your heart threatened the strength in your legs. You ignored you father, looking straight at Levi as you spoke.

“You never loved me, did you? This was all a game to you wasn’t it Levi?” You searched his eyes for the answer, not seeing a shred of emotion as you continued, voice wavering, “little old me, too blind to see what her own father does, and too stupid to see that the only man I’ve ever loved was using me.”

Still seeing nothing betrayed in Levi’s eyes, you closed your eyes, feeling the last of your tears slipping out as you held out your hand.

“Hand me the gun father, I’ll kill him myself.”

Cold steel was placed into your hands, admiring the brushed metal as you remembered all that Mikasa had taught you about loading a bullet in the chamber, and flicking the safety off.

You raised the gun, the barrel pointed directly at Levi while he raised his own weapon, pointed at you. With one final look at your lover, his eyes now narrowed at you and the gun, you cocked the piece in your hands, and breathed a final sigh as a gunshot rang out from your apartment.

Your father lay on the ground, blood pooling beneath him, his face still frozen in disbelief. It was your shot that killed him.

Mikasa and Eren burst through your door, their guns lowering once they saw it was just you and Levi in the room. With a jerk of his head, Levi dismissed them, and Mikasa gave him a pointed look as they closed the door before soft footsteps trailed away.

You held the still warm gun in your hands for a moment longer before placing it on the ground. You turned to Levi, walking towards him. His breath hitched when you lifted his arm, pressing the barrel of his still unfired gun snugly under your ribs. 

You smiled, tears pricking the corners of your eyes as you closed them.

“You succeeded Levi. You can have whatever you want now. My father’s empire is yours. Do it Levi. Take care of the loose end.” Your voice broke as you kept your eyes closed, not sure if your next breath would be your last.

“Just end it quick. You’re the most important person in my life. Even if I never meant anything to you, you meant the world to me. So, if it ends here, it’s better you than anyone else. You hold my heart in your hands, so who better than you to crush it?”

Instead of the cold steel of the gun that touches you next, it’s the taste of his lips on yours. His own gun clatters to the ground as Levi envelops you in a hug, crushing you to his body. “I never lied to you when I told you I loved you. I meant it, and I still do.”

You melted into him, sobbing quietly into his chest as everything fell into place. All the pieces of the puzzle coming together to form such a gruesome yet beautiful picture. He held you, whispering to you over and over how he loved you, how he _really_ loved you and never intended to use you. You just sniffled into him, fingers gripping his shirt. You were sorry too. Sorry for your shitty excuse of a father and his stupid plans.

Eventually the others had to come in to take care of the cleanup. Mikasa pressed a hand to your brow, wiping your tears away with a soft smile before going to assist Eren.

Levi picked your exhausted body up, leaving you to rebury your head in the crook of his neck. By the time your tears and sniffles dried up, you were back in his bed, surrounded by familiar sights and sounds.

Levi had a lot of explaining to do, but you let it be for the night, too tired and too shell shocked to talk into the night.

~

Within a month, Levi had taken all control of the city. Without your father calling the shots, the Kings quickly fell into disarray. The Scouts were able to swoop in, and before long, the entire city was under Levi and your purview, your rightful spot now beside the man you loved. As you looked out at the sea of reports coming in about the various gambling rings and the files of men and women under Levi’s payroll, you smiled.

Diamonds are forged under pressure, and from the shadowy depth of where you and Levi now operated, you never shone as brightly as you did now.


	40. Just a Trim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy haircuts with Levi

“Stay still!” You chided as stubborn fingers got in the way of your hair clippers once again. “If you keep moving, you’ll end up with a wobbly line!”

“Tch, I knew I should’ve just gone out for a haircut.” His reply was curt but his eyes glimmered in amusement as Levi watched you in the mirror, your brows furrowed in concentration with each flick of your wrist against the back of his head.

You had always admired your mother and father, and the way he would kiss her on the forehead after a haircut, exclaiming that not even a barber could do a better job; so when Levi asked for his undercut to be shaved down, the sides having gotten to scruffy, you jumped on the idea.

You were currently regretting that idea. You had no idea the pressure you would be under, watchful grey eyes constantly checking your progress in the mirror, little snide comments here and there about “its uneven there” or “don’t cut me like a titan goddamit”, and your _personal_ favourite, “maybe I should have done this myself.

You held your tongue, hoping the end result would make Levi eat his words.

You had finished another round of checks, making sure all the shorter lengths of hair were even. When you looked into the mirror and met his eyes, you flashed a soft grin. “Well?”

He looked. And looked. He turned his head to the right, then to the left, and pressed a hand gingerly against his head to feel the length.

“Not bad I guess,” he mused, “I’m just going to fix one…thing”

You couldn’t stop him in time. A flick of the blade against where he _swore,_ he saw an extra tuft of hair. In a heartbeat it was over.

Your jaw dropped and you had to clap a hand over your mouth to avoid the laughter from bubbling out – not that you succeeded.

A jagged demarcation from where he cut off a little too much – he turned his head, the hole in the middle of his scalp in stark contrast against the rest.

Your pointed look into his eyes from the reflection in the mirror spoke volumes. You didn’t even need to look at him for him to hear you in his head.

“I’m never doubting your skills again babe,” his hands came up to grasp yours, handing you the blade, “for the love of Shina fix it please.”


	41. A Creaky Gate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First kisses with Levi

The night was winding down. The candles were flickering as they neared the end of their life and your teacup was empty. You were just dragging out the time you spent in the quiet office, the only other sound your absent-minded dragging of your fingertips over the table as you sat next to Levi.

It was your first official date after you had agreed to go out with him, and all you had done was talk, sip on tea, and just bask in each other’s company. And you loved every moment of it. You could spend hours just staring into his eyes, not thinking about anything else other than the fact that he looked so gorgeous. His presence in the room with you made your heart beat fast, and every time he spoke, asking you little questions here and there, you could hear the sound of your blood rushing through your veins.

You were lovestruck, hopelessly lost in everything that had to do with Levi.

“Brat!”

You blinked up at him, a smile still on your lips as he shook his head.

“Where did you wander off to in your mind? It’s getting late. Stay the night or I’ll walk you home.”

You blinked again, feeling the heat rush to your cheeks.

“St-stay the night?!” you squeaked, a little panicked and a little…excited?

He just rolled his eyes, giving you a soft flick with his fingers.

“There are spare cots and sleeping bags. No need to share a bed. Eager brat.”

Your cheeks somehow blazed hotter at his comments, and you squeaked again, burying your face in your hands.

“Could you…could you walk me home Levi?”

He smiled softly before tugging on his cloak.

“Let’s go then.”

~

The walk back to your house was a comfortable one. The air was brisk but comfortable, effectively cooling down your burning cheeks. Your knuckles brushed against his as you walked, before he opted to just place a soft hand across the small of your back. It was dark after all, and he wanted to keep you close. At least, that’s what he told himself.

All too soon, the familiar rose-covered fence of your house came into view. Levi followed through the creaky gates, eyes flickering to the rusty hinges.

“Mm, remind me to oil this.” He mused, swinging the gate door to and fro as it squealed out in protest.

“Don’t worry about it!” you giggled, watching him battle the swinging contraption, “Want to come in for a bit before heading back?”

“Another time, I have some things to tend to.” He breathed, eyes meeting yours as his hands finally stilled against your fence.

“…okay.” you paused, slightly disappointed.

“Although...” The air seemed to still as he stepped forward, the gap between your bodies getting smaller.

Your breath caught in your throat as his fingers grasped your chin, lifting and tilting your head as his nose nearly brushed yours. You could hear the blood pulsing and your heart beating in your ears as his eyes looked into yours, thin slivers of grey peeking through hooded lids.

“There is something I want,” he whispered, other hand snaking around your waist as your knees wobbled, “is it okay if I kiss you?”

Your cheeks were probably the reddest they have ever been, even the tips of your ears were burning with his question. You nodded at him, hands coming up to fist in his shirt.

He shook his head at your nod, nose brushing against yours once more.

“I need to hear you say it Y/N. Tell me.”

“Please… _kiss me Levi.”_

Tears of embarrassment burned in your eyes at the prospect of admitting your desires so openly while your heart fluttered in your chest, thankful he was so sweet about asking for permission.

Nose brushing against yours one last time, he leaned forward, slotting your lips together, smiling a little as you gasped when his lips first met yours.

You couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t think. All that was in your mind was the way Levi’s lips felt against your own, the way he tasted, how he managed to teach you how to kiss without a word. The pressure of his lips as they moved against yours was perfect as your legs gave out, his arms holding you steady as he pressed you against your doorway.

By the time he pulled away, your eyesight was blurry and your lips plump and tender as you brought a trembling finger to touch them, not sure if what just transpired was even real.

Hands came down to grip your wrist, and before you know it, your head was tilting again as Levi pressed another soft kiss to your lips, meeting him halfway. Another soft chaste brush and he pulled away for the second time that night, shifting his attention to your fingertips, kissing each one before meeting your eyes again.

“Thank you,” he breathed, own cheeks tinged with a slight blush, “I’ve been thinking of doing that all day.”


	42. Think of Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Did you think of me when you were having sex with her?" prompt. Extremely angsty drabble!

It had been weeks since you felt okay. The breakup being the worst thing that’s happened to you in recent memory. You didn’t remember previous breakups hurting so much, but something about the calmness with which Levi laid out the reasons he couldn’t continue the relationship cut you.

It was as if he had been thinking about it for ages, looking for a good time to break your heart, taking it as easy on your heart as he could. He had done all the talking, pausing as you sniffled, hands folded in his lap as he watched you fall apart at his words. He was cold, the finality of his tone leaving no hope of reconciliation.

What you couldn’t understand was the reason why. All the things he mentioned were little things, you had protested, things that could be fixed, worked on. But your words and pleading fell on deaf ears.

“We can stay friends.” He offered, only making you cry harder as he slowly shut the door behind him.

~

Perhaps that was why it hurt so much when you saw him usher the other squad leader into his office, checking the hallways before closing the doors. The fact that you had not felt yourself for weeks while he so easily left you behind and forgot about the two of you ever having been together hurt more than anything he could have said.

Perhaps that was why you were foolish enough to confront him, tugging on his arm as he passed by on his way back to base. Tears welled in your eyes as you struggled to choke out what you wanted to say between hiccupping sobs.

“You…you said we could stay friends.”

His eyes were hard, not an ounce of emotion for you in them as he pried your fingers off from their hold on the fabric of his sleeve.

“You believed me?”

Your heart broke all over again, whatever pieces that were still intact shattering at his words.

“Did you think of me when you were having sex with her Levi?”

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want to hear the answer to.” He shot back, turning on his heel to walk away.

“I…I miss you Levi.” You begged, knowing it was fruitless, but you had to try.

“Don’t.” he said, looking at you from over his shoulder. “Because I don’t miss you.”


	43. The Moves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A cute fluffy friends to lovers one shot :)

Even before the lock turned, Levi was already smirking. Judging from your frantic texts that night, your date had _not_ gone well. Something about the guy being a slob, handsy on a first date, and having as much personality as a saltine cracker.

He had choked out a bark of laughter when you asked him to make sure there was ice cream in the freezer. It was _that_ bad.

Looking over, he tried to keep his face straight and uninterested as you slammed the door closed, ripping off your coat and hanging it up before stomping into your room to change. By the time you emerged, Levi couldn’t hold it anymore, a shit-eating grin as he raised an eyebrow at you, patting the spot next to him on the sofa.

“That bad?”

“Worse,” You groaned, your face in a pillow, voice muffled, “Am I just shit at dates? Do I have standards that are too high or something?”

“People are just shitty sometimes.” He shrugged, walking off to the kitchen, leaving you with your thoughts.

You had dated around for the better part of two months now, none of the dates going any further than the second. There was always something not quite right about each of your partners. Girls trying too hard, overwhelming you with sweet custardy perfume that was doused all over, blowing up your phone to hang out again, or a denial of their sexuality after the first date. With the guys it wasn’t much better, your preferences leading to either lewd descriptions of sex acts you were not about to try anytime soon with anyone, or wide unblinking eyes before quietly excusing themselves leaving you to awkwardly finish your coffee, and maybe flirting with the server for a bit before scurrying home.

You were so tired. Nothing seemed to work out, and you were happier at home anyways. Time spent in your little two-bedroom apartment was always more fun than dates, mostly due to the fact that you had Levi to talk to.

The two of you clicked during your university years and quickly moved out from the dirty and loud dorms to a small two bedroom. Now the two of you were nearing the end of your studies, and neither had even considered moving out. It was just so comfortable living with Levi, he was respectful of your privacy, let you have your way with hogging the bathroom in the morning, and always had a snarky comment to offer to soothe your nerves.

For your part, you cooked whenever you felt overwhelmed with school, and it bode well for the both of you when it came to having meals. You had some sort of knack for finding good deals, able to whip up ridiculously delicious meals for a bargain. Levi would always graciously accept your cooking, wordlessly helping you scrub the pots and clean the kitchen afterwards.

Your friends always joked that the two of you were perfect for each other, how cute the two of you were, but if there was one thing you weren’t quite sure about Levi, it was his feelings for you. It was no secret you had a crush on him when the two of you were first introduced, but that feeling was quickly quashed in favour of being his friend and longtime roommate. Nowadays, you weren’t quite sure what it was that you felt for the man, and to be honest, you were scared to venture past the firmly drawn line of friends, worried you would have to spend the rest of your final year not only heartbroken, but down a friend and place to live.

You yelped when cold assaulted your bare thighs, causing you to jerk up from your sprawled-out position on the couch to rub at the area, eyes fiery.

Levi was holding two pints of ice cream and two spoons, a smirk on his face as he watched your feigned anger melt away when your eyes read the flavour on the carton. Your favourite.

“Cold carton to the leg. Wakes you up from daydreams and melts the sides a little. Win win.”

You frowned, looking up at him, “You rarely have ice cream with me. Something happen?”

A sigh and he plopped down on the couch, your legs curling beside you as you shifted into a sitting position, giving him some room while your hands made quick work of the container, popping off the lid and scooping a nice helping.

“Petra broke it off.” Levi whispered, a mouthful of his own ice cream making him pause, “she said something about being tired of being with someone who didn’t love her as much as she loved me. Figures.”

You sighed, nodding along to his words. The two of them had been going through a rocky patch for ages now, and frankly, you never thought the two of them were going to last. Not too many people knew Levi the way you did, and you prided yourself in the way you seemed to be the one he could talk to about anything, no secrets between the two of you. All except that little tidbit about you and your feelings for him.

The feeling that was supposed to be quashed, the forbidden dream. The edges were fuzzy, but now they seemed to focus as he mused over his failed relationship over mouthfuls of indulgence, the two of you sitting together in the quiet, minds racing, hearts pounding, voices silent.

~

The couple dates you’ve been on since that night were also disasters. You had given up at this point, Friday nights better spent at home watching movies, trying to beat Levi at how many consecutive pieces of popcorn you could catch in your mouth a way better activity than making a fool of yourself out with random strangers that never seemed to catch your fancy. Perhaps it was time to admit to yourself that no one seemed to hold a candle to the man who was constantly on your mind these days.

By the third Friday night you chose to stay in, Levi looked a little stir crazy and frankly, you were too. Deciding the both of you needed some fun and excitement, you whipped out the bottle of wine someone had given you at housewarming and splurged on some steak from the local supermarket. Some pasta bubbled away in water as you tasted the sauce for flavouring. The two of you were doing a fancy night out at home. You wore one of your favourite dresses, and Levi had reluctantly agreed to throw on something nice, having lounged in his comfy clothes around the apartment all day.

The table was set, dishes plated, and wine poured. What you didn’t expect was for Levi to sweep out of his room, black pants with a belt, dress shirt tucked in and sleeves rolled up to his forearms. He ignored your puzzled look as he pulled you up from your seat, your hand in his as you walked a lap around the couch.

“Can’t let you arrive first for dinner, even if you cooked it.” He said, eyes flashing at your giggles.

“Wow putting on the moves eh Levi?” you teased, indulging him as he pulled out your seat for you when the two of you made it back to the table. “What other moves have you got?”

“Moves?” he repeated, taking a seat himself.

“You know, date night moves.”

“I’m not sure I _have_ any moves. Do you?”

You smirked, eyebrows waggling. “I have a couple up my sleeve.”

“Alright, hit me.” He challenged, raising his wine glass as you scrambled for your own, “I’d like to see these so-called moves.”

“You are _not_ ready for this,” you teased, gesturing to yourself even as your heart pounded. Somehow you had managed to bite off more than you could chew and now you were backed into a corner. A corner you had made for yourself, but a corner, nonetheless.

Dinner was comfortable as it always was, the two of you chatting in between mouthfuls, his soft praises of how good everything tasted making you smile while willing the butterflies in your stomach to settle, your wine downed in an attempt to quell the nerves.

By the time the candles you lit dimmed as the wick neared the end of its life, and the lights flicked on in the apartment with their timer, dinner was long gone, the two of you lulled into a comfortable silence.

“You…you know me better than anyone Levi.” You offered, looking up from your glass, elbows on the table as you swirled your drink.

“Yah, it’s a good thing because you’re the only person I tolerate enough to live with.” He countered, setting his own glass down.

It must have been a combination of his words and the wine still lingering on your tongue, but you leaned in, ghosting your foot over his leg under the table, your attempt at a seductive grin turning into a genuine smile as he rolled his eyes.

“Really Y/N? That’s your move?”

“It…its part 1 of the moves!”

He was about to continue to comment when you stood, pushing back the chair, the fabric around the neckline of your dress drooping slightly, causing him to choke back his words. If that wasn’t enough, you grabbed the plates, balancing them in one hand, while your fingers ran across the back of his hand trailing up to his arm before you walked to the sink, leaving a soft lingering scent of citrus you were so partial to.

“That’s part 2,” your soft voice echoed from the kitchen, missing the way Levi’s eyes went wide, missing the way he tugged at his collar and adjusted his pants.

When he had fallen under your charm he did not know. Whether it was the atmosphere of the night, or the way the two of you had so seamlessly flitted from flirting to chatting and back to flirting again had him wishing the night would never end. He wanted to do things he was reluctant to do with Petra, his heart and mind in unison in their conviction that he should be doing more.

“Is…is there a part 3?” he dared ask as you walked back to the table, getting up from his own seat and pushing the chair in.

You took his hand before walking back towards his bedroom, leaning against his doorframe as you looked into his eyes, nodding.

“This is a good one.” You murmured, fixing his collar, hoping he wouldn’t be able to see the way your heart was practically pounding out of your chest.

“Goodnight Levi,” your voice a whisper by his ear as your hand fell from his collar to trail down his chest.

That was supposed to be the end of it, your whole repertoire of moves having been performed. For some reason, you couldn’t swallow the lump in your throat. For the first time, you had enjoyed yourself on a Friday night, on a pretend night in date with your roommate. You wanted to ask him, you wanted to know, your toe already past the line of friends at this point with all your teasing and flirting during the night under the guise of showing him your moves.

And it would have been the end of the story had his hand not caught your wrist as you walked away, a soft tug causing you to turn back as you felt his cold hands against your chin.

You obeyed his touch, letting him turn your now blushing cheeks to face him, his eyes a darker grey than you’ve ever seen before he leaned in, lips slotted against yours, your brain barely registering his other hand cupping the back of your head, tangling in your hair.

Soft and sweet, the kiss was innocent, but had the weight of a thousand tons, causing you to lose your balance, your whole being tugged over and across the line of friendship as you opened your eyes when you felt him pull back.

“Is…” your voice was soft, somewhere between breathless and hopeful, “is…is this one of your moves Levi?”

His hands stayed; fingers that were on your chin having moved to graze your cheeks.

“No.” he said easily, “that was me realizing I was blind this whole time.”

A smile broke across your face, leaning into his touch as you tugged him towards you, your final confession before lips met once more.

“Yah…me too.”


	44. Sparrows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soulmate AU

Shivers ran up and down your spine as all your peers stood around the stage, waiting their turn. It was ceremony day, and your mind was racing, worry gnawing at your heart. What would you turn out to be? Where would you end up? Would you meet your soulmate?

A cheer erupted, and your eyes flicked to the stage, where a petite blonde girl was smiling wide, petting the nose of a snow-white unicorn that stepped from the stables to press against her cheek. _Military._

A moment later, another cadet approached the stage, looking around for a moment before their body suddenly froze. The flowerpots that lined the edge of the stage started to shake, ceramic clinking together before a bright red rose bush suddenly sprouted, beautiful blossoms casting a wonderful fragrance about the small crowed. _Garrison._

Your name was called. With a gulp, you stepped forward, up and onto the stage as you dipped your head in respect to the towering statutes that depicted the walls, Rose, Maria, and Sina in front of you, ever wise, ever unmoving.

You looked to the left, the stable of unicorns snorting amongst themselves, not a single one seemed to be interested in you. Looking down at the flowerpots that remained still, your knees started to shake as you willed something to happen. _Anything._

There was the occasional soul that for one reason or the other, did not receive the blessing. None of the regiment signs resonating enough to come to fruition. But that was rare, and more often than not, the Scouts would take them in.

A hush fell across the crowd as you stood, waiting. The time ticked by, one second, ten seconds, thirty. Suddenly, a searing pain erupted from your back, and your legs gave out, knees hitting the hard stage as you screamed your agony, nails digging crescents into your palms.

You would feel the extra weight settling against your back, the brush of feathers as they settled. It was as if someone had opened another compartment in your mind, the instinct to flex and open your wings coming as naturally to you as moving your fingers.

Heeding the instinct, you took a deep breath and with a soft woosh, you felt something extend behind, the wingtips reaching into your field of vision. _Survey Corps._

You bowed again, walking off the stage, easily retracting your wings in the process. Finally. You belonged somewhere. You were chosen to be in the Survey Corps, with all the other winged chosen ones. With the Survey Corps, where your soulmate would be too.

~

You kept your wings folded tightly against yourself, growing more and more self-conscious as all the Survey Corps chosen cadets were ushered to meet the leaders. Beautiful wings surrounded you. Most were hidden under your cloak, but others weren’t as shy, letting their wings out. Some were long and wispy, gorgeous pastel splashes as butterfly wings flapped gently with each of their motions. Others folded their soft membrane wings, looking more like a bat. Still others showed off their huge wingspan, scales covering their dragon-like appendages. You breathed a sigh as you felt something brush your side and looked over to see the most beautiful pair of transparent wings that peeked out from underneath a cloak brush against you, their owner trying to tuck it in as best they could. Dragonfly wings. Quick, beautiful, patterned, and oh so gorgeous.

Everywhere you looked, wings of every size, shape, and type surrounded you. All except one.

Everyone knew that Commander Erwin sported the most dangerous pair of falcon wings; flecks of gold and green all over his feathers, and despite all your looking, you had yet to see another with those markings. Looks like he will have to wait another year for his soulmate.

You bit your lip, your wings still hidden against yourself. You had also yet to meet someone with wings like yours. They were small, and you hated them. As far as you knew, they looked like sparrow wings, but their colour was an odd shade of grey, bands of white contrasting the steely shade.

Mated pairs usually had the same type of wings and complementing or identical markings. Due to the dangerous nature of their job, many of the Survey Corp leadership chose to dye their wings, rubbing charcoal or other colours across feathers and membranes lowering the chances of their soulmate getting into danger due to their affiliation. It was said that losing your soulmate bond hurt more than anything – the very thought of it happening between pairs were often enough to bring forth tears. Most do not survive after the bond is broken, the remaining widowed soulmate withering away to nothing, wings losing their sheen, feathers falling, scales flaking, or disease setting in until even unfurling the appendage was no longer possible before they succumbed to a cold, flightless death. Within the Military, the chosen rider and their soulmate also shared bonded unicorns. If one party were to break the soulmate bond, they would lose their connection to their horned companion – never to ride together again. Perhaps the saddest was the Garrison, where endless tangled branches would form, thorns everywhere, but not a blossom in sight. Losing your soulmate meant you could never create your signature-coloured blossom again, and your world would slowly lose colour, until all you could see was grey.

You shook your head, attempting to empty your head of such dark thoughts. You were getting ahead of yourself again. You didn’t even have a soulmate yet, and here you were, worrying about what would happen if you lost the bond. How silly.

Footsteps slowed down as the base came into view, a platform in the middle of a field where Erwin stood, flanked by a small handful of other Survey Corp elite.

When everyone was accounted for, all crowded around the makeshift stage, Erwin began his speech, welcoming the new recruits, and introducing one of his newly appointed squad leaders, Levi, Hanji, and Mike, followed by Moblit, who would be assisting.

Erwin’s wings were folded gently against himself, bravely undyed as he addressed you all. You were all to present yourselves, engaging in a short stint of flight in order to best evaluate your abilities. Stamina, wingspan, maneuverability, and swiftness were all important factors to consider when training cadets.

Multiple times during the presentation, you felt eyes on you, but by the time you flicked your eyes towards the crowd, the gaze would fade slightly, before a second later, the hairs on your arms would once again stand.

Levi could feel the connection in the air, like a storm about to hit on a muggy summer’s day. The air was charged, and his wings twitched behind him, hidden underneath his cloak as he willed them to stay still. He scanned the crowd, ruling out all the cadets with visible wings he could see. They weren’t a match. But the moment he met your eyes, he felt his useless heart flail against the walls he built. The air got heavier as it swirled, causing a jolt to run through a rigid salute, the charges from earlier morphing into full blown lightning strikes as he couldn’t help but trace your features with his gaze. Not that he would have compared you to anyone, but from where he stood, you were the most enchanting creature he had ever laid eyes on, and he couldn’t wait to watch you fly.

Erwin and Mike took to the skies, Hanji assessing progress from the ground as Moblit called out the name of each recruit.

Cutouts of titans appeared out of nowhere, other Survey Corp members maneuvering makeshift arms and legs as they tried to chase down the initiates. The assessment wasn’t hard – the only goal was to fly fast, dodge as well as you could, and make it to the end where Mike was.

You winced when many of the cadets with larger wings caught the air current too well, wings made for gliding not as maneuverable, reaction time slowed by the force it took to flap giant wings and change directions. Only a small handful made it through, your companion who had brushed you with their dragonfly wings one of the first to make it to the end, flitting and cutting through the air so effortlessly, their wings a blur. Elite squad material. 

Though you willed it not to happen, your name was called. Shrugging off your cloak, wings unfurling, you took to the skies to meet with Erwin at the start of the course. The commander quirked a brow when you joined him, ghost of a smile on his lips.

“Cadet. I must say you have beautiful wings.” His eyes flitted to the ground before meeting yours again, “Use them, avoid getting caught, and try to meet squad leader Mike down over at the end.”

You grit your teeth, nodding at the simple instructions before the order of ‘go!’ rang out, and you flew as if a titan was really after you.

The wind was battering against your face, your hair blown back against the force and speed with which you were flying, eyes flitting to every possible direction a scout could come at you from.

At the first hint of movement, you dropped, tucking your wings flush against your body to dive, easily swooping past the obstacle. The second was positioned just after the first, the ugly face of a 15 meter titan, arms outstretched. You unfurled your wings, acting on instinct, the sudden resistance of air catching your feathers like a parachute before you angled your wing, changing direction on a tip of a needle. You never had to work your wings like this before, but it all felt like second nature, as if they already know what to do.

The longer Levi watched from below, the surer he got. The tips of his wings were darkened, thanks to the dye Hanji had applied for him, but he recognized those markings from anywhere. The perfection of the grey in your feathers called to him, and he heeded that call, shooting up into the sky to meet Mike, stupidly long black tipped albatross wings matching his ridiculous height.

“They’re the one.” Mike offered, his nose twitching as he scented the air. “No doubt this time Levi.”

Both pairs of eyes watched as you got closer, face flushed but determined, your wings flapping strategically to conserve energy and glide, but it was your diving move that was so familiar to him – Levi used it often, albeit with his signature spin.

You barely realized when you reached the end, not until you had to reel yourself back to prevent an in-air collision.

Your eyes raked over giant wings, so many wingspans longer than yours as you saluted respectfully to the two senior officers, but your breath caught in your throat when your eyes met his.

Your heart started to thump, and your wings curled around, natural instinct taking over to show your feathers when met with another of the same kind. Who would have thought, captain Levi sporting the same pair of sparrow wings.

Your elation was cut off early when you saw the colour – frowning a little before you reeled your wings back, blushing to the tips of your ears at your embarrassing display. You had after all, essentially asked if he was your soulmate in front of everyone.

“My – my deepest apologies sir!” you stuttered, “I was out of line, I saw the matching wings and…”

A jerk of his head told you to follow as he descended back onto the ground, tucking the two of you behind a nearby pillar for some privacy.

A gust of wind and his wings enveloped you, managing to just wrap around you. You could feel now the tingle in your own wings and gave in to the instinct once again, matching his actions.

“I never knew it was you I was waiting for.”

“I’m here now.”

“I didn’t ask for this, neither did you. Before we met I was sure that I wouldn’t be a good partner.” His words were dismissive, other than the public display of his wings around you, his tone betrayed no emotion. “But now I’m sure that I want to give it a shot. Shitty or not, you’re stuck with me.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way Captain.”

“Tch. Drop the damn formalities, its Levi to you.”

He stepped forward, locking your wingtips together, feathers slotting as tingles ran down your spine. The two of you fit perfectly together, and you leaned into his chest, warmth blooming at the feeling of your heart connecting with another. Suddenly your world expanded, a part of your heart suddenly blinking to life, consumed only by him, enamoured until the end of time.

~

Needless to say, you were quickly placed with Levi in his training squad, no one daring to call out the favouritism. You _were_ his soulmate after all.

Known for their skill, agility and lightning-fast reflexes, squad Levi was widely feared and revered within the Survey Corps, and now, their unapproachable Captain had a spitfire of a shadow. You were as fiercely loyal and devoted to him as he was you, never before imagining you could feel this way about anyone, the notion of laying yourself before someone, vulnerable and unguarded seemed like a foreign concept before you met.

He taught you his spinning dive, and the two of you were often unrecognizable in action, a flurry of feathers, your matching markings confusing the hapless titans to no end, by the time they managed to focus on one of you, the other had already ended their life. The two of you quickly amassed an impressive kill count, the strongest and most powerful duo to date, bringing new meaning to the Wings of Freedom.

Who knew they happened to look like yours.


	45. A Thousand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reincarnation AU

_“Another life.” You promised, hiccupping through your wheezing breaths, leaning into the hand that was cupping your cheek. “I’ll find you in another life.” He felt so warm – or was it just that you were so, so cold?_

_“I’m holding you to that, brat.”_

_He managed to hold your gaze until the end, pressing a soft kiss against still warm lips as you went limp. He could be strong for you, but on this tearstained and bloodied battlefield, there wasn’t a soul left that needed his strength. Not anymore._

_~_

“Levi!”

Periwinkle skies and the chirps of early birds mixed with the sound of wet tires spinning against the softly falling rain, your scream disturbing the peace, echoing across the still dark room as you clutched your shirt, grimacing at the cold sweat that fused fabric to skin.

You had been plagued by dreams of him lately, myriad of lifetimes worth of memories unlocking in your mind whenever you drifted off. Night after night, you would see him through the ages, your love ripping apart no matter the year. By now, you couldn’t remember the good endings, growing old, starting a family, the happily ever afters crushed under the weight of a heart burdened by sorrow.

The dreams starting back up was an indication that he was close. Your last memories of him, bloodied on the battlefield, holding your hand to his as shells exploded around you, some sort of sick send-off to the afterlife. When your last memories came, you knew that your paths were bound to cross again in the near future, your old dear friend Fate once again weaving her threads that never seemed to offer reprieve. You knew better than to search for him, for Fate was fickle that way, the more you yearned, the more you tried to force her hand, the harder she would make it.

You couldn’t help the flicker of hope in your heart, the butterflies that you tried to suppress with cup after cup of coffee, each swig doing nothing to lessen the pounding that threatened to tear out of your chest. You went about your day, professor’s voices just droning in the background at this point as you buzzed with the anticipation of seeing him again, of being with him again. A thousand lifetimes, a thousand first encounters, a thousand first kisses, it really never got old because to you, he always looked the same, felt the same, _tasted_ the same.

It wasn’t until the night swept through the town that you realized perhaps Fate was turning over a new leaf for you, a school sanctioned mixer the perfect excuse to let loose and score some free drinks.

It seemed the party was already in full swing by the time your little crew made its way into the bar, the security guard taking your IDs and ticket, exchanging them for the little stubs that would get you your liquid courage at the hands of the bartender. You went and claimed the little bingo card the school had put together, your seniors manning a table complete with pens and nametag stickers that you filled out and slapped across your chest.

The bingo sheet looked like they usually do, little boxes filled with things like “find someone whose favourite colour is green” and “who is cat person?”. You always seemed to entertain these little icebreaker games, small talk something you were always good at.

You made it to bingo with relative ease, nursing the beer that somehow started getting handed out, no doubt courtesy of your student fees. Dropping the completed sheet into the collection bin, you refilled your glass from the keg before wandering over to where your friends were gathered, leaning against the bar, engaged in some sort of loud conversation while downing shots.

It was crowded, the bar top a popular place to congregate, close enough to stools for sitting, and the perfect distance to the ever helpful bartender. A tall blonde you had seen around the library before sauntered up to you, swaying a little as he grinned, taking your beer and downing it with such practice you wondered for a moment if it really _was_ his drink all along. You were too sober for this, and as he turned back to toward the bar, no doubt ready to order another round, he teetered, heel catching your toes.

You grimaced, wrenching your foot free and backing up when you felt gentle hands rest against the small of your back.

“Woah, you okay?”

In that moment, you could’ve sworn you heard tinkling bells as you whirled around.

Parted silken ebony tresses, impassive face, and an expressive steely gaze. You saw yourself through the lifetimes in his eyes, the earlier nightmares seeming to fade into nothingness, a thousand first meetings, yet nothing could beat this moment as it happened again and again.

“Levi…”

Your voice was soft, barely audible through the chatter, not that you noticed it, the whole room having gone quiet the moment you realized it was him.

Reaching out, fingertips so close to touching, bridging the gap between your hearts from the last lifetime you shared, your promise fulfilled; _I’ll find you._

A twist of her talented hands, and it seemed that you were always right. Fate really was a fickle thing, she giveth and she taketh, your whole world shattering when the man before you blinked, eyes flicking to your nametag as he frowned, brows furrowing and backing up just out of reach of your fingertips.

“Oh, uh Y/N. Hi.”

Your eyes went wide, searching his face, your heart threatening the integrity of your ribcage as you pulled your hand back, his words burning you, digging your nails into your palms. The way he said your name, the way confusion swirled in his eyes rather than the flash of recognition and relief that would make his shoulder relax every other time you had met told you the hardest truth. This hasn’t happened before. A thousand lifetimes, a thousand goodbyes, but this time…

“You don’t…remember?”

“Remember what?” He squinted before stepping closer, waving a hand across your field of vision, “You on something? Why are you crying?”

Too late did you realize there were tears streaming down your face, each drop marking its own path down your cheeks, doing little to take away the crushing weight of knowledge that shattered your heart. _He doesn’t recognize you._

He doesn’t remember the time those fiery rocks were being thrown from the mountain you thought safe, the only thing the both of you could do was to huddle in your home, the aureus you had clutched to your palm to buy a loaf of bread imprinting against you as the city suffocated under the ash. He doesn’t remember the time he stole you away in the dead of night, your father’s men giving chase through the dark tangled woods of your kingdom. He doesn’t remember how fervently he tried to convince your father for your hand in marriage, your souls connecting across the hall at the ball Lord Danith had thrown not three days prior. He didn’t remember any of it, your presence erased from him in this life as easily as if you hadn’t existed at all.

Perhaps this was for the best then, perhaps this was what it took to stop the cycle of pain and happiness, the cycle of highs greater than any pair of wings could reach, and lows that looked to the deepest, darkest depth of your soul. You could see Fate laughing at you, her rouge lined lips curled in cruel mirth. Perhaps, perhaps it was time to wrench yourself free from her grasp. Watch as love fell through your fingertips.

But could you really just walk away? Walk away from your soulmate, your perfect half, your fated one. So many lifetimes and never had you gotten tired of each other, because no matter the time, no matter the distance or the struggle, your love was the same; unwavering and true. Perhaps it was selfish of you to continue this chase now. Being with Levi was like choosing between warm blankets and the cold tiled floor, you would pick him time and time again. But was it fair for you? For him?

You knew everything about Levi, the way his head would shift from side to side as he blew against the soft wisps of heat that tangled itself above the teacup, the way he would pretend not to notice you slipping him the bigger half of a cookie split in half before slipping you an extra chocolate chip, the way he would always sigh into your kiss because the relief of meeting your lips would melt away his troubles of the day, struggle and burdens lifted for that moment where nothing mattered but you.

Your silence stretched out awkwardly between you, something you have not experienced since the first time you met him, so long ago now you barely remembered. You hastily wiped at the tears, dampening your sleeves as you forced a smile, wavering lips and cracks showing pitifully through your façade. Your decision was made. You weren’t playing along to Fate’s sick game any longer. Not in this lifetime. Even if it meant living with half a heart.

“I’m so sorry. I must have been mistaken.” You mumbled, backing away from the only comfort you ever knew, leaving behind the only thing that you thought you could depend on.

Levi just watched, confused. Something stirred in him, your form shaping into something so painfully familiar yet behind an opaque wall he couldn’t quite see through. Everything about you felt like home, like that lone cabin in the woods that came into view, smoke from the chimney and wood stacked neatly by the fireplace. Something so comforting about you, your voice, your face, even the way you wiped at your leaking emotions. Comforting, but why?

“Is something the matter?” He asked, unwilling to let you walk away while so obviously emotionally compromised.

“No,” you smiled, his face blurring through your tears, “I’m just breaking a promise I made long ago.”

All he could do was watch you stumble towards the exist, disappearing into the crowd, not sure why his heart clenched painfully in his chest at your departure, your words making no sense but somehow still managing to hurt. He didn’t notice you turn back, catching a last, fleeting glimpse through the bodies that separated you before steeling your heart, leaving behind the one thing it recognized.

I found you.

I found you.

I found you.

_And then I walked away._


	46. Accompany Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Musician AU

Crying was not a usual sound one would hear while taking a stroll through the practice rooms of the music building, but with every step, the sound grew to be unmistakable. The sniffles, blowing of the nose, and hiccupping sobs making him feel uneasy. Rounding the corner, Levi expected to see some poor kid who had gotten scolded by the professor for not practicing enough that week, but was met instead by your figure, clad in a dark purple satin dress, long and flowy, making you look like some modern reincarnation of a Greek goddess.

And just like so many characters from the myths, you were sobbing, violin concerto clutched between your fingers, tears clinging to the score, droplets shaking with each sob you let out.

“Oi. Y/N. Mendelssohn isn’t going to be happy you’re defiling his work.”

You looked up, regarding the man who spoke with teary and unfocused eyes, barely registering the tissue he offered.

You stifled the next sob and sniffed, desperate not to drip any more tears on your music and make the situation any worse.

“The way you’re dressed looks like you’re practicing for a recital. What happened?”

His soft voice was something to focus on, and you scooched over on the faculty couches, patting the spot next to you, a courtesy and he obliged.

“Oh hey. Levi right?”

You knew the talented pianist from watching many recitals your friends had put on, but hadn’t really talked to him much yourself, always having a designated pianist up until today.

“I’m playing tomorrow for the winter recital,” you sniffed, dabbing at the wet spots on your dog-eared pages in an attempt to save it, “but my accompanist just dumped me, so I’m down a pianist and a boyfriend. I have to play without accompaniment tomorrow…I, I…I’ll have to get some sort of pre-recorded accompaniment or play solo and -”

You let out another sob, this one sounding more like a laugh.

“God I’m so sorry I’m okay. Please, go practice I don’t want to take up your time.”

Levi dug around in his backpack for a second, pulling a thick score out.

“Violin concerto in E minor?”

You nodded.

“I played this a while ago with another violinist from the faculty as her audition piece for the concerto competition. If you want to give it a go?”

You just blinked, staring at what had to be your modern-day knight in shining armour.

“Are you saying- ”

“Yah, if we get this down, I’ll play with you tomorrow for your recital. Those recordings are fucking awful, and how the hell are you supposed to play a concerto solo. _Idiot.”_

“Really?? Really Levi? You’d do that for me? I know we don’t know each other well at all and it’ll be our first concert together but I really think I can do it really well and I practiced really hard and - ”

He stopped you again by standing and jerking his head toward the practice room next door.

“Let’s see how our first pass goes, brat.”

From the moment your bow hit the strings, the piece flowed like you two had been partners for weeks, Levi’s fingers picking up the part quickly despite not having played it in a couple months.

You stopped often, listening to his advice about where to play a little softer, where to take more time, and circling the areas where you needed to ease off to let his melody shine through.

The hours passed, and whether it was just the experience of playing with someone else, or the fact that Levi was a notoriously picky accompanist with high standards, but you had never quite felt this way playing a concerto before - during a particularly difficult portion, you had missed a repeated theme, nearly skipping ahead three bars. You were just about to stop, knowing there was no way for the two of you to meet up again, but then you realized – Levi was still with you. Not even batting an eye, he had found where you skipped to, adjusted on his part, all without missing a beat.

The scolding you received for being so careless afterwards was not nearly as fun, but you slowly started to realize the true talent of the man who sat at the bench, waiting for your nod to start the piece over again.

~

The last note rang out, and just like your final practice with Levi not more than twelve hours ago, the two of you were perfectly in sync, your bow still in the air, his hands above the keys, letting the final notes shimmer through the air and bounce off the walls of the concert hall before applause overcame the both of you, shattering the scene of the concerto that had been building.

You bowed, smiling as you clutched your violin, feeling the sweat drip down your brow, the clamminess in your palms, but it was all worth it. Even Mendelssohn would be proud. You stepped to the side, right arm extending to gesture to Levi, who stood, leaving his bench to stand next to you, the both of you taking a bow.

He walked behind you back to your warmup room, accepting your babbled thanks with a wave of his fingers.

He was barely a couple paces away when he saw another pianist walk into your room, some guy he’d seen around the faculty, flirting with the other music majors rather than practicing. In fact, the guy was holding some other violinist’s hand, and judging by their expressions, they didn’t have anything nice to say.

“ – the cadenza? I don’t think you’ve ever managed to get that part right. Maybe she can give you some pointers next time” the guy sneered, the only bit of conversation Levi caught by the time his feet took him close enough.

He saw red in that moment. After leaving to go home the night before, he knew you stayed behind to practice that passage, your solo, the most important and difficult part of the piece. And this _fucker_ was tearing you down. He didn’t stand for it.

Shouldering his way past the two and met your watery eyes, standing by your side to face who he assumed was your shitty excuse of an ex-boyfriend.

“Oh?” said man sneered again, holding his new girlfriend close, “the great Levi Ackerman himself. Not sure how she got you to accompany her. She rushes the beat and skips around the score like a joke. I suggest you stay away from this one, all crazy up in there and no potential.”

You tried to say something, tried to stand up for yourself, but the lump in your throat was too much, and you would rather die than have your stupid ex watch you cry.

“She played beautifully.” Levi retorted, eyes narrowed at your dumbfounded ex-boyfriend, who managed to recover.

“Hah. She may have done better than I expected, but it won’t last. She – you’re nothing without me”

The last words he spoke were directed at you, and the harsh realities of your passion made you clutch at the fabric of your dress, not a word formulated in your brain, the pain and confusion and will not to cry all too much to handle.

“I gave you a chance. But since you’re offering such unsolicited advice, I’ll return the favour.”

Your eyes bugged out of your head when Levi spoke, tone icy and barely controlled.

“You keep your disgusting fingers away from Y/N, she doesn’t need you or your shitty wrong notes and bad accompaniment ability. She has me to support her as long as she needs.” 

~

Through the cold winter months, you would meet up with Levi, practicing regular repertoire for class as well as the upcoming Spring Showcase. Life of a music student was dictated by the concerts and recitals you needed to play, and the two of you were no different. You helped him with pieces, transposing them and writing out new harmonies, giggling at his awe of your perfect pitch, his eyes always wide when you managed to tell him exactly what a note was as soon as you heard it, and then able to recreate it either on your strings or on the piano. He on the other hand, helped you with your harmony homework.

The months passed and between the homework and practicing, the two of you always managed to find time to play whatever suited the mood that day, with Levi’s aptly placed wrong note never failing to get you to double over in laughter.

Be it by your shared interest, or the way you managed to complement each other so perfectly in music, you found yourself craving his presence, looking up videos of his performances when you were home, never able to tear your ears away from the way he played, notes so crisp yet effortlessly emotion filled at the same time.

At some point during your practice, the two of you drifted closer, maybe it was the way he would walk you home, not trusting you to carry your violin, all the music, your schoolwork _and_ walk home in the dark all alone. Or maybe it was the way he always packed an extra pair of gloves for you, knowing how nervous you got and how that always translated to cold ass fingers.

The time you knew, without a doubt in your heart that you had fallen for the quiet man was when you arrived at practice from class, fingers practically blue because, of course, you had forgotten your gloves again. You were about to run to the bathroom and run your hands under water when he came up to you, wordlessly grasping your hands in his, rubbing and blowing warm air on them as you sat, bored expression on his face.

Neither of you had said a word about the incident since, but your heart was beating at twice the tempo it usually did the rest of the night.

As the Spring Showcase date drew closer, your efforts were focused, but Levi seemed to be a little off. He carried more music than usual, and the way he played for you seemed a little forced, less practiced, less emotional and a lot more mechanic.

By the third time he was late meeting you, you had found out the truth. He was playing a recital with another violinist, splitting his time between the two of you. Professionalism aside, you felt the most irrational sense of jealousy swirling in your heart, the idea that Levi, _your_ accompanist, _your_ key to playing the most beautiful pieces did not hold you to the same regard made you feel replaceable. After all, a violinist only needs one pianist, but a pianist could accompany anyone – such was the life, but you couldn’t admit it to yourself.

It was irrational, after all, there were more violin majors that piano ones, and everyone had to share. But Levi promised. He had promised that he would be there as long as you needed him, and in the quiet practice room, it was just you and your music because he wasn’t there.

You were on him the moment he pushed the doors open, eyes glancing at the clock that read nearly half an hour after your agreed upon time.

“What is she playing Levi?” you had asked nonchalantly, causing him to reel back in confusion.

“Petra? I’m working on Sibelius with her, for her graduation recital. You - ” he paused, rubbing a hand through his undercut, “You know about that?”

“I asked the others about where you were and Oluo told me. Why didn’t you just say something Levi? Why hide it from me?”

“Hey. Y/N, what’s the big deal? I’m practicing for another recital with someone else, what’s your problem today?”

“My problem is that you didn’t even _think_ to let me know you were late. My problem is that you didn’t even try to tell me you had other things going on, and I’m just not in the mood anymore.

You knew you were irrational, but the seething anger and ugly jealousy in your chest won out as you shouted, thankful the practice rooms were soundproof.

“Look. I’m playing for Petra at her recital. I was her regular pianist anyways even before I was yours, so what’s the deal? Let’s just practice now.”

The fact that you already knew so well only made the situation worse. Petra had been fine with sharing a designated pianist, but here you were, an irrational angry mess at the fact that you came second in his heart when you were never ranked first to begin with. You shook your head, clicking the locks closed on your instrument case. “I don’t want to.”

A step back, and his brows furrowed a little.

“Wait. Are you…jealous?”

Him hitting the sore point in your heart made you bristle, in no shape to confess your feelings as red-hot anger and sickly green jealousy took over fully in your mind.

“You think you’re so great don’t you Levi.” You spat, slinging your case over your shoulder, “You’re just like my stupid ex. I don’t need you. Forget it.”

As soon as you said it, you wished you could take it back. You didn’t mean a single word, and just taking in the hurt that flashed across his face before settling into his usual impassive mask tinged with anger, you knew you had gone too far.

“I don’t think I’m anything. But if there’s one thing I’m not, it’s your ex. I thought you saw through this bullshit and could see the music, but that’s clearly not the case. Good luck at the showcase.”

His words were icy, nothing like you’ve ever heard from him. Before you could say any more, the door clicked shut, and he walked away, soft clicks of his shoes echoing across the empty hallways.

You walked home by yourself, never feeling colder and more alone.

The next few days were bleak, trudging through the melting snow, the small handful of days to your performance getting closer, you practicing all alone, eating all alone, warming up your hands…all alone, and of course, walking back home, _still alone._

Two days to go until the Showcase, and you heard a knock at the door just when you were tuning and chirped out an invitation. You could see through the sliver of a window on the door who it was, and nearly dropped your bow.

Your ex-boyfriend walked in, scanning the room, surprised to see the piano bench empty.

“Hey,” he started, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck, “congrats on the scholarship by the way. I uh – I just wanted to apologize for everything. I was in a pretty bad place when we broke up and fuck, it took a lot of work to realize I was a real asshole. My therapist recommended making amends, so I just wanted to let you know that you’re really talented and I – I wish you the best.”

You were taken aback at such a point blank confession, but a smile soon broke out across your face. You walked over to him, the both of you engulfed in a big bear hug.

“Thank you for telling me that.” You offered, pulling away, “I’m glad we’re both in a better place now.”

“When you’re ready…I wouldn’t mind being friends again Y/N.” he glanced at the piano, “And maybe, maybe we can play again together one day.”

You nodded, following him out the door, feeling, for the first time since your fight, a small burden lifted from your chest.

That is, until you turned around after waving goodbye, only to lock eyes with Levi walking down the halls, eyes flitting between the retreating back of your ex and the violin in your hands. You opened your mouth to call out to him, but the way he shook his head, you knew there was nothing more to say. Nothing more you could do.

You didn’t get any more practice that day, tears blurring the notes on the page too much to focus.

~

You thought you were dreaming, and almost rubbed at your eyes before remembering how hard and long it had taken to get the makeup _just_ right. Levi stood backstage, clad in his performance suit, his usual impassive stare as you barely managed to hold back from bursting into tears.

“You came.”

“I owed you as much.”

“Levi I - ”

He cut you off, a wave of his hands at your words.

“After this, I’m done. Find another pianist if you haven’t already.”

Through the thick velvet curtains, you could see the audience, proctors, and the scholarship committee.

You just needed some more time – if only you could explain, everything would be okay, if only you could just tell him everything, but of course, your name was announced in that moment.

The spotlight never felt warmer, and your hands never clammier than when you stood, looking out at the crowded auditorium, not really focusing on anyone in particular. You flicked your hair out of the way, giving Levi a nod.

The beginning chords of Zigeunerweisen sounded from the piano and you almost cried. It had been so long since you had practiced this with him, yet you knew exactly how he was going to play it, never failing to highlight your strengths and cover your weaknesses.

You let yourself fall in love with Sarasate all over again, honouring the composer the best way you could, giving it your all, fingers flying over the strings, hips swaying at the melody.

Despite the piece being scored for orchestra, Levi made up for it all with his playing, presence as big if not bigger than if you had the full ensemble behind you. The melody flit like a hummingbird between your flying fingers, bow bouncing across the difficult virtuosic passages and Levi’s keys.

You longed to put all your emotions behind the piece, hoping the feeling of yearning that you always felt from the piece would reach your audience, but mostly, the man playing with you. You loved the slow passages, being able to take your time, Levi’s accompaniment highlighting the dark, deep soulful tones you were trying to capture. But all too soon, the tempo picked back up in the final movement, the piece was near its end, eight minutes never passing so fast.

You tried to have fun with the playful theme, the more variations being added to it the more difficult it got, until you were a flurry of movement, the piece truly a formidable one.

And then, as quickly as it began, it was over. One last flourish, one last chord that marked the end of the explosive piece.

Applause started up, and you smiled into the audience, faces now coming into view. You bowed yourself, then bowed with Levi, sucking in a breath when he placed his hand on the small of your back for some pictures, his touch warmer than all the spotlights. 

Making your way out from backstage, you were against swarmed by your family and friends, flowers in your arms as you thanked everyone for coming, shooting your professor a thumbs up when they winked in your direction for a job well done.

You spotted Levi in the corner, trying to keep out the way of the crowd, and you walked over to him, name falling from your lips before it was caught, watching Petra hand him a bouquet of flowers.

It was too late, and it was all your fault.

You found silence on a bench, and you should have been happy, having conquered your piece, but somehow the joy wasn’t the same. Your head in your hands, you bit back a sniffle and the swirling heavinesss in your chest.

Lifting your head when you felt a presence, the last few months flashed like a movie in rewind.

Levi stood in front of you, tissue in hand.

“First it was Mendelssohn now Sarasate, you going to cry over every composer out there?”

His voice was teasing, but still guarded.

“I fucking missed you.” He said, watching your chest rise and fall, shaky fingers, calloused and tough from your strings taking the offered item. “I missed your stupid perfect pitch, your stupid wrong notes, your skipping habits, I even missed your cold ass clammy hands.”

You hugged him then, reacting to the yearning in your heart – not giving him a chance to push you away.

“I missed you too Levi, I did get jealous, I got so jealous someone else got to play with you, and then you saw me that night when, when _he_ came and…and, I wanted to tell you, I just wanted to tell you that I -”

You felt him sigh, and then warmth cover your shaking shoulders as his arms came up to wrap around you.

“Me too Y/N. Me too.”


	47. Fealty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Royal AU

Tears splattered against the back of your trembling hands, their tenuous grip on the ledge weakening as the shouting grew nearer. Dark smoke billowed for as far as your eyes could see, in stark contrast against the usual white. The air was devoid of children’s laughter and the charming tunes that made their way out from the crowded taverns and dance halls. Instead, the sickly smell of iron, slash and clang of steel suffocated, your kingdom in ruins before your very eyes.

“Highness.”

The familiar voice made you turn, blurry vision cleared with a discreet wipe of tears. Your three most trusted knights stood before you, ever loyal, ever brave, ever foolish.

“I stopped being a Queen the moment the first blood was drawn Miche.” you spat bitterly, blinking towards your toes in an attempt to stave the hot tears that once again threatened to spill. Your subjects. Innocent lives. In the end, you couldn’t do a thing to stop the invading army.

“Highness.”

It was Levi who called you this time, voice reminding you of what you needed to be. Strong and firm for your subjects.

“No. Not yet Levi. A little more.”

“Highness. We have to go.”

“Levi. I am not leaving until the gate closes.” You turned to the third man, ignoring the death grip he had on his scabbard. “Erwin, where are we with evacuation?”

“Highness, I have to agree with Levi, we have to go bef-”

Your desperate plea, tear filled yet defiant eyes fixed on his, fists clenched so hard your arms were shaking. He paused, pained look as he reported.

“The last wagon is about to clear the drawbridge. The gate drops after it passes.”

Finally nodding, soft smile and a sigh of relief leaving your lips as the lives of your remaining subjects were secured. You lifted your head tall, the jewels sat atop your head catching and reflecting the light evidence of your power and status even in such a state.

Your footsteps were sure as you lay a hand against the chest plate of the men before you, one by one.

“Miche, Erwin…Levi. Go. With your skills you can still make it. You have served me well. No use dying here, loyalty sworn to a Queen who couldn’t protect her own people. Go, I’ll bar the door, buy you three some time, but you have to go _now.”_

“Highness,” Levi tried again, usually the only one who could get through to you, “Your Majesty. We have to go. We would be fools to leave you here. Not Miche, not Erwin, and certainty not I. We swore fealty, come hardship or death. Our swords are yours to command.”

“The fool was me all along.” Your voice was soft, tone leaving no room for argument. Nothing could be done once you’ve made up your mind. “I am no longer your Queen; your swords are your own. Be free. Fight for what you believe in. You have served me well, your oath fulfilled, fealty dissolved.”

The three looked between themselves, dropping on bended knee as Levi took your hand in his, laying a kiss to the palm before turning it over and repeating the action.

When he looked up, your breath caught in your throat. The fire in his gaze, the clench of his jaw, and the conviction in his voice spoke louder than the words he uttered.

“We are your knights, and as long as you stand, we stand. We protect the crown, but most importantly, we protect _you._ Our Queen. _My_ Queen. By the first and last swing of my sword, we fight for you.”

You smiled, helping the man up until steel eyes bore into yours. You nodded towards Levi, then Miche and Erwin in turn, the sound of metal filling the room as all three drew their swords.

Atop your gilded throne you stood, bow and arrow in hand, full quiver on your back, your most trusted, loyal, and foolishly stubborn knights by your side.

“I’d like to see King Zeke try and take my crown with an arrow between his eyes.”


	48. My Jolly Sailor Bold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Siren AU

_“My heart is pierced by Cupid_

_I disdain all glittering gold_

_There is nothing can console me_

_But my jolly sailor bold.”_

The others never understood, the unwavering dedication to the first sailor you ever set eyes on a topic you didn’t dare broach in their presence. Their advice was always the same. “Lure him, devour him, be with him forever.” Thankfully you didn’t have to chat with them often, preferring to be alone. After all, you were territorial creatures by nature, gathering only when there was enough prey for everyone.

When you were first given the blessing, you wandered the islands and ragged rocky cliffs, unable to get up enough courage to venture out too far. But you could only sit around humming and braiding hair for so long before all you wanted to do was to lure _yourself_ into the depths out of sheer boredom. Over time, your mortal memories faded like the waning sun over the horizon, snuffed out by the sea, but you never seemed to forget him and his silver eyes.

How could you explain that it was not his life you wanted, something even you couldn’t quite reconcile. Perhaps it was because you had first laid eyes on him when you were still human, a stroll about the town leading to the harbour, as it always did. Your feet took you to the sea, its façade of calmness calling, beckoning with azure waters and white crested tips begging to caress your soft mortal form. Soft crying from the harbour was no rare sight, but for some reason on that day, you could not look away. His hands around her, she sobbed into his chest, fiery pigtails drooping with her mood.

“Brother. If you leave, I fear you may not come back. Look how the sea rages. What about me? Farlan?”

As much as you tried to remember, the memory always ended there. Never more, never less.

~

The night was a dark one and the sea was displeased, waves crashing and roaring, a wicked storm brewing to the east, threatening to overtake the ghostly white rays of the moonlight that flirted with the waters. You hummed your song, basking in the light of the ocean’s mistress when in the distance, the telltale creak and groan of wood straining and the useless splash of oars echoed. A small craft was making its way through the waters, no doubt en route to the small desert island nearby. Some pour soul was being marooned.

The splashes grew as the water around you started to tremble, your sisters voices bubbling from the depth as they breached the surface, doe eyed, soft smiles hiding wicked fangs tainted with blood, harmonies as deadly as they were beautiful.

With a flick of your tail, you joined in the fray, choosing to keep your song hidden for now, watching from a safe distance as the men scrambled over each other to lean over the edge, into the beckoning arms of the fair maidens in the water.

“Are you my jolly sailor bold?” your sister’s question flitted through the air, voice saccharine and soft, smile unarming, the uniformed man barely whispering an “Aye.” in response before his face and puckered lips hit the water, disappearing into the depth, led to his demise by her beautiful deadly force. One by one your kin took their spoils, meals savored, trinkets from their victims made into bobbits and hair pieces to be worn with pride. The only sign of the bloodshed was the occasional scrap of uniform that floated back up to the surface and the round innocent bubbles that shattered into the air.

As the last man was taken into frigid waters by welcoming arms, you approached the craft, abandoned oars squeaking weakly against rusted metal rivets. Elbows, arms, chin. Carefully, you lay your arms along the smooth side of the boat and peered into it, suddenly realizing why something wouldn’t quite let you leave.

Another was left in the boat, hands tied behind his back, ankles bound, stained and tattered cloth over his eyes. Your eyes roved over his body, dressed plainly in a white shirt and dark vest, an ugly brand of the letter ‘P’ shone against the skin of his forearm, breath catching as he began to stir.

His hair was damp, bangs sticking to the uncovered portions of a forehead slick with sweat, brows furrowed, grunting as he struggled, a blade suddenly clattering along the slick deck. You fought against your instincts to either dive and disappear, or to start singing before the knife was turned on you. Wary eyes fixed on the man, following every move as he held the knife between pale fingers, running it along bindings, gentle swishes of your tail keeping the boat from straying.

Whatever possessed you to hide the lower half of your face when he finally freed his hands and tore the blindfold off disappeared in an instant when grey eyes blinked, focusing and widening as they met yours.

It was him. The sailor from what fragments of memories you managed to hold dear.

“Siren.” He spoke softly, eyes never leaving yours as he lowered the blade, other hand splayed open for your view. _I mean you no harm._

Just then, you felt the featherlight caress of silken fins, one of your sisters returning. The moment she saw him, soft humming filled the air before you could stop it, only able to watch in absolute horror as the man’s eyes lost their fear, softening as he slowly began to succumb to her spell.

There was only one thing you could do, and you did it without a second thought. Teeth sharpened, fangs bared, you swam between your sailor and the dangerous song.

“He’s mine. Don’t you start singing now sister.”

“Oh?” she mused, eyes passing between you suspiciously. “Little Y/N finally showing her true colours and taking a gentleman for a tour of the depths? I guess it’s only fair I don’t interfere.”

She ducked back into the water, flashes of her tail shimmering. “Go on then.” She wasn’t about to give up a meal, but knew better than to fight over your stake.

You couldn’t sing. This you knew. The gods who bestowed this gift gave it at a cost. If a mortal were to resist a siren song, she would be no more, reduced to shimmering bubbles that disappeared into tumultuous waters. Humming was the safer option, not disarming enough to lure men to the depth but posing no danger to the songstress. A siren had to be sure of her victim’s enrapture lest she lose her own life.

Faced with your sister and your long-lost sailor, there was little choice to be made. In the dark of the moonlight, humming filled the sea, emerging from the depth of your soul, colouring the melody with sweet promises of love, comfort, and anything else he may desire as it passed your lips. A heave, and your body left the water, revealing the shimmering scales that lined your middle, fins slick with salt. Your weight on your arms, you beckoned to him with your melody, promising everything his soul desired, clawed fingers reaching into the boat, meeting vacant eyes and hand outstretched.

“Isabel? Farlan? _Mother?”_

You kept it up, voice maintaining the illusion forming in your sailor’s mind until a soft splash signalled your sister’s withdrawal, haunting humming cutting off in your throat, watching as the glassiness left his vision, small blissful smile dropping from his handsome face as a scowl took its place, spell wearing off as the splash of waves once again fought to the forefront of his senses.

“Damn siren tricks.” the man growled after some silence, watchful eye on your form, “Why did you stop? Am I not to your standards?”

Soft shake of your head and he scoffed, settling onto the wooden slats that served as seating, soft rotations of his hands and feet as he tried to get the feeling back after being bound for hours.

“Can you talk? Without scrambling my mind?”

“Yes” you chirped, “Without the song itself, you are safe sailor.”

Still the man shivered at your voice, closing his eyes as fists clenched and loosened at his side.

“Your damn humming aside, I owe you my life, twice over.” His voice was clipped, brows knitted and eyes harsh. “I got careless in my rage, getting captured by the Royal Navy.”

A look around, and tattered remnants of uniforms littered the surface of the water, bobbing along with the currents.

“Your friends must have taken care of them. So, I suppose my revenge is complete.” He continued, meeting your now confused gaze. Pressing the blade into its sheath at his side, his hand lingered at the grip where golden strands met.

“His blade and the string she used in her hair are all I have left of them. I swore revenge, at any cost.”

“Farlan.” You echoed, “A young lass, crying. Pigtails. Years ago, at the harbour.”

His eyes narrowed, suspicion swirling in the gaze that met yours.

“Sirens read minds too? Or are you just special.”

“Memories. Only memory left from when I too walked the land. Saw you that day with her.” You explained, swimming to where he sat, leaning dangerously close, “your name sailor?”

“No wonder you’re different. You haven’t been at this for very long.” He gestures to his arm. “And I’m no sailor. I suppose you’d call me an outlaw of the sea. This brand names me a pirate. But you can call me Levi.”

“Levi.” You warbled, heart pattering in your chest, scales shimmering in your glee. Your mysterious sailor had a name.

“Aye. And yours? Is it what the other one called you? Y/N?”

You nodded at his words, wondering for a moment if he too had received the gift, voice speaking your name more captivating than any song.

“You…you’re really not going to drag me away?” he asked, eyes softening at the way you shook your head fervently.

The tattering blindfold cloth was still in your hands, having taken it while you were humming to him, and you gestured, offering to tie it around your mouth before he snatched it away.

“Tch. Don’t do that. Its filthy. I trust you alright? Suppose I owe you my life anyway so eat me when you see fit.”

He couldn’t help but look over at you again after saying that, barely holding back a snort at your wrinkled nose at the prospect of devouring him.

“Come with me then?” Levi asked, “I need go find my ship and crew. Just don’t sing at anyone and you can accompany us, in case you decide to eat me one day. I don’t like owing favours.”

The squeak of rusty rivets and the splash of oars echoed across the night, this time mingled with the occasional splash of your tail against water as you swam further away from the isolated rock you used to call home. How could you reconcile this feeling in your heart, the last human part of you but a figment of your memories, left over from another life. The prospect of following Levi on his journeys and luring enemies away from his craft stood out as greater gains than snuffing out his life. That could wait. _You_ could wait. So, for the time being, you led him due north, where he was sure his crew would be waiting.

_“My heart is pierced by Cupid_

_I disdain all glittering gold_

_There is nothing can console me_

_But my jolly sailor bold.”_


	49. How They Hurt You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Erwin, Levi, and Eren hurt you, key phrase: They're not my type

Erwin

\- he loved so fiercely and had so much of it to give

\- too bad you were too late to receive it

\- you knew you would always be second best in his heart

\- his first wife forever and always his one true love

Your hands worked, ignoring the whisps of hair that fell just in front of your eyes. Outside in the sunshine, the rhythmic _snip snip_ of shears cut through the birdsong.

Trimming back the rosebush before the winter was _their_ thing. A special occasion between Erwin and his mother-in-law. Despite Marie’s passing so many years ago, the bond between heartbroken mother and doting husband never once wavered, not even when you entered the picture. In fact, the elderly woman loved you as much as she loved him.

Bright and full, the blooms were carefully cut and removed of their thorns before being placed in the long-stemmed vase that sat at the centre of the table. They were Marie’s favourite, and Erwin’s to this day.

You never asked for roses, and he never bought them for you. Daisies, petunias, carnations, lilies, but never roses. Never, never roses.

Balancing the tray, you nudged open the sliding veranda door as the wind picked up, hiding the sound of your approach. Their backs were to you, lost in conversation.

“Are you going to marry her Erwin?”

His shock at her question was evident, nearly dropping the delicate flower in his hands.

She laughed, lines beside her eyes deepening slightly.

“I only ask because I’d like to come. I think Marie would have been happy to see you move on.”

You wanted to step forward, clear your throat, laugh, anything to announce your presence, but his next words caught that thought and crushed it.

“Mm, truth be told, I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to marry her.” He mused, twisting the stem of the rose between his fingers, eyes lost in thought. “She’s honestly not my type, she was just…just so different than Marie. She was exactly what I needed when we met, something new, a change of pace I suppose.”

A sigh, and his eyes closed.

“But then it got comfortable, and now…I suppose I’m in too deep.”

“She’s a wonderful girl Erwin.” The older woman chided.

“I know that, but I just…I _can’t.”_

“Don’t you think she deserves to know that?”

Your body somehow chose that moment to return to your control and with a plastered smile and clear of the throat, the tray of finger sandwiches was gently placed on the table, pitcher of lemonade sloshing gently next to it. You played dumb, acting as if nothing happened, pretending not to notice the look that passed between the two.

That night, you hugged Erwin a little tighter, kissed him so sweetly that even he managed to trick himself into believing the lie that you didn’t hear the conversation.

But that was all it was, a lie, because when he got back from work, dinner was in the fridge, as it always was, but the house was eerily quiet, oddly empty, and colder than he ever remembered it being. One little note against brushed stainless steel, at his eyeline, in your script told him everything he needed to know.

_I love you. I’m sorry I’m not her._

Levi

\- he’s been hurt before, walls built to protect his scarred heart

\- little voices scream in his head, he’s not cut out for love

\- he fears the pain, everything and everyone he touches, he corrupts

\- so he’s cautious, detached

You thought you were doing well to break down his carefully constructed walls but loving him was like watching the leaves fall off the trees in the fall. Perhaps, somewhere deep inside, you knew it would eventually come to an end. His love cut, but the deeper it sliced, the more you wanted.

It was supposed to be a casual visit to the coffeeshop when a loud voice cut through the fray to catch his attention.

With a smile and tilt of your chin, you sent him off to chat with his friend while you perused the menu. A moment or two of debate passed before you ended up ordering what you always did, but only after making sure the barista grabbed a new steeper and teapot from the industrial sized dishwasher for Levi’s usual order of tea.

Moments later, your hands were warming from the temperature of the liquid in the cups, and your feet quickly took you to the large windows and bar stools that looked out onto the street. Hanji’s messy ponytail was all that was in view, Levi’s back to you as they chatted over the din of the crowd and ambient sounds of steaming milk and grinding beans.

With each step, their voices got clearer, but as the topic of their conversation became evident, you almost wished for the sound of clinking cups to overwhelm once more.

“So, you and Y/N are getting serious?” Hanji asks, nudging him gently with their shoulder.

“Not sure, things are fine, but…just fine. Nothing special.”

“Oh?” they were taken aback, “What’s wrong?”

“Mm, nothing,” Levi replied, a sigh shaking his frame, “I think she’s just not my type. I tried really hard this time Hanji. I tried so hard to love, but I can’t. At least not with her. I feel, but I know I don’t feel the way she feels towards me.”

You either made a move or weren’t as quiet with your heartbreak as you thought, causing Hanji’s gaze to catch yours. Their eyes widened, but you shook your head, hands red and shaky as you set the drinks down on the counter. Your eyes were like crescent moons, desperately squeezing shut to keep the tears at bay behind a fake smile.

Tripping over words, you gestured to your phone, a friend’s name fitting into the lie of something having come up unexpectedly. You pretended not to notice Hanji’s look of worry as you hastily waved goodbye before turning on your heel and running from the shop, twinkling bell on the door the only thing left in your wake.

Your tears helped cool the bathwater that night, the last leaf on the tree that was your love finally breaking off and falling to the ground. No matter how long you denied it, some part of you knew it was coming, but the pain was all the same.

Did he really feel nothing? Did he really not love you? Then why was he checking his phone for your usual cheery greeting and silly emoji littered texts? Why was he hoping for a sign that everything was alright? That _you_ were alright.

When the buzz came hours later, fingers were white knuckled in their grip, message preview on the screen, but it was all he needed to see.

“ _If that’s how you felt, did last night mean nothing?”_

Was this dull pain with each thump of his heart and roaring in his ears a sign? Was this what guilt felt like? Regret? Your usual happy face marred with tears, watery eyes not meeting his. It was his doing. _He_ did this to you.

Frantic tapping on the screen as he tried to explain, clarify, quantify his words. Apologize, atone. But as message after message failed to deliver, he realized.

You knew you wouldn’t be strong enough to read his reply, a swipe all it took to delete your conversation, a simple click enough to protect yourself from any more pain, the word blurring as you sobbed, refusing to look as the pad of your finger hit the screen in confirmation.

_Block this Caller_

Eren

\- You met him and his reputation all at once

\- he was a player from his small town, with a list of exes and hookups longer than your entire list of friends

\- whenever he visited home during breaks, his phone would blow up with offers of free drinks and a good time

You knew you weren’t anyone special, so friends you stayed, but something about the way Eren’s endless string of snapchats, Instagram dm notifications, and text messages dwindled as he spent more of his free time with you warmed your heart. Surely, he had loads of people at his disposal, but it was you who he would call and chat about his problems and worries until the wee hours of the night. Surely, he couldn’t be calling anyone else.

On the off chances that you were busy, you would smile as you came back to your phone, three missed calls in a row from Eren, and a big frowny face in your text messages.

It was just another day, lunchbreak in between classes passing faster than the blink of an eye. There was no time to walk to the larger coffeeshop at the other of campus after madly cramming the readings you were supposed to do for your upcoming class, so the university ran café in the student lounge had to make do. You left Eren and a mutual classmate lounging on the surprisingly comfortable couch, dodging a stray ping pong ball that flew at you from a rather heated game.

It was this delay that caught you unawares, ears perking as voices travelled to you, bent over to retrieve the ball.

“Hey, Eren. You and her a thing? You lookin’ rather cozy.” Your classmate asked, teasing lilt in his voice.

“What? Them? No. Not at all.” Eren replied, all too quickly, making your heart drop to your feet. “They just follow me around like a lost puppy.”

He snorts, before clapping the classmate on the shoulder. “Plus, you’ve seen some of my exes. You think someone like _that_ would be my type?”

Stiff legged and cold sweat soaked, you somehow made your way to the counter, meal card procured from your wallet, shaky fingers accepting the muffin and cup of coffee before adding copious amounts of milk and sugar to the fray.

The crowd was dwindling as the clock creeped closer to the top of the hour, students either heading to class or home. Eren’s bag was thrown over his shoulder by one strap, one hand fiddling with the tie in his hair. You sat in your original spot, but somehow the space between your bodies felt miles apart, a chasm opened up by his words, frozen over by your shattered heart.

You pretended things were alright, somewhat easy to do while you focused in class, muting the funny memes Eren sent, ignoring the little doodles he made in your notebook margins, and turning down his offer to walk you to the bus stop.

The rest of the day and following week was harder, non-committal replies to his texts, phone calls sent to voice mail, and half-assed excuses to why you couldn’t talk getting older and older the more you used it.

He realized something was wrong, with you and himself when he found himself reading through the conversation he had with you over the week, frowning at your one worded replies. It didn’t matter how many other notifications he had in his socials, none mattered if it wasn’t from you. His heart twinged uncomfortably and fingers flew over the keyboard, desperate to claw back what he used to have.

_“Hey u seem down. Everything okay?”_

But you never replied.


End file.
